baby vs cat - advice please

[boundarybabe]

DS is one this week and crawling. Our cat has been v. patient with him and they are quite affectionate towards each other ? we?re trying to teach DS to be gentle and we?ve progressed from fur yanking to heavy handed patting so we?re getting there. But he just will not leave the cat?s tail alone. He pulls it quite hard and obviously as he?s getting stronger it?s starting to hurt the cat. Every time he does it we say ?no? firmly, remove him, distract with a toy etc. However the cat finally flipped today ? he mewed when DS yanked him (obviously in pain), and then scratched DS across the face. I moved DS, put the cat out of the room, two minutes later the cat?s back (he is quite stupid) and DS is at him again. He didn?t even cry when he was scratched even though it drew blood!

Any advice on how to deal with this? I?m sure DS will learn eventually but in the meantime it seems unfair on the cat.

You need to keep them separate until your ds is able to treat the cat with respect. He's too young to do this at one so it's up to you to keep the separate.

My ds is now 20 months and just learning what cats like and dislike, but the cats avoid him like the plague now. It took both sides a long time to learn!

our old cat was like this... constantly getting close to the kids but flipping out when they touched him and scratching.

he got progressively worse to the point where we couldn't allow him in the room with them at all.

he eventually decided to move home and seems to have found some nice granny to take him in who's busily overfeeding him to obesity... he came back to visit once or twice but was just as uncomfortable round us.

we now have 5 cats (don't ask!) and all of them are fantastic with the kids... even my 12 month old. the most unsociable of them simply keeps out of the kids way and the others actively seek them out for cuddles and sleep in their beds. if the baby pulls at them they simply get up and leave... not one has ever attempted to scratch him, even the two who will use their claws on the older kids if ushed too far.

what i'm trying to say is it's simply the cat's personality and it's very unlikely to improve... you're probably best off just trying to keep them as seperate as possible s the cat doesn't get the chance to lash out

I think Tulips is right - our cats have been fine with tail pulling etc and removed themselves at the right time, so I think it's down to the personality of the cat.

I don't think your 1 year old could inflict much pain - looking at how cats playfight, they're pretty tough. But keeping them apart as much as possible till your DS has a better understanding is probably wise.

Thanks for the replies. Our cat is normally really loving and gentle - on this occasion he was trying to leave the situation but DS was hanging onto his tail so he batted him to make him let go IYSWIM. It's only recently he's starting being a bit rough (i.e. since DS has got bigger and tougher).

Obviously will keep supervising to the hilt until DS learns but in the meantime would you say I'm right in correcting the behaviour by saying no, distracting/removing from situation? DS is my first so discipline is a new area for me.......!

I say "no that hurts the cat, stroke her gently like this.* I think it is starting to get through.

Ds pestered our cat at this age. Because our flat's quite small it was difficult to keep them apart.

The cat was very tolerant up to a point and then gave ds a few cuffs. Not nice for ds and I'd have far preferred it not to come to that, but he soon learned to keep his distance and doesn't bother her any more.

If you can make sure that the cat has a safe place she can go that ds can't reach - up high is good I think, or up the stairs, then that's much kinder and less stressful for the cat.

And yes, saying no, removing, distracting definitely the way to go for your ds.

It's hard for them though - the cat must look like a cuddly, moving soft toy - so best to keep separate if possible.

Thanks all.

The cat has plenty of places to go, the situation is not helped by his insistance on sitting next to DS. He actually taunts him by waving his tail in and out of reach! I do worry about his level of intelligence (the cat that is, not DS who is too clever for his own good).

Have the same thing with my 14mo DS, except my cat has always been fine, on the one occasion where he held onto her tail she mewed pitifully until I came to her rescue!

Definately keep up the supervision, it seems like this was just a one off when the cat was really pushed. Do you use the "no" word for other things, if so it will fit in nicely with the cat too. Just be careful about saying "gentle" just after he has wacked her or he may think it means wack her, if he is being nice with her then say gentle so he links it in the right way iyswim.