Still co-sleeping with 3 yr old, new baby due shortly

[mummyof2byapril]

Hi guys, my midwife is coming to see me tomorrow with a support worker, they all seem to think it's very important that my son whom has just turned 3 should be in his own bed.
I've told them it's too difficult, etc, but the truth is I LIKE us co-sleeping.
It's one of my favourite times with him, we both go to sleep together around 9pm and we'll sing nursery rhymes, read stories and then i'll stroke his head till he falls asleep and it's really nice.
It doesn't feel natural to me to have him exhiled to another room.
Now I have a new baby due in 7 weeks.
I would also like to co-sleep with this one, lol which must sound ridiculous :-)
I would love a big, safe family bed, like how they do in other cultures.
I'm a single mum I should note, (no man here).
Well my support team are saying my son needs to get in his own room and my new baby mut go in a cot etc..
But if it can be done safely I would feel much better with my baby next to me.
I know to keep the temperature snug in the room, so baby only needs thin blanket with air holes, and stays high up on bed, far away from my blanket.
I would have my 3 yr old on opposite side of bed so he won't come and squish baby.
Does anyone have any advice so my midwife support workers don't think I'm just being irresponsible.
Co-sleeping is really important to me.

thanks mummyofbyapril i have tried the super-nanny's method , i tried that last year when dd was 3.5yrs but after 22 nights of constant getting up to walk dd back to her room 15times in one particular night i gave up due to exhaustion i swear she has a stronger will than i have , but i am determined to crack it this time as dh is moaning about her still being in our bed as she has kicked him in his nether regions a few times , i feel like a zombie this morning though as she woke up six times last night .
if i were you i would just nod & agree with your hv & tell them that yes you plan on putting your ds in his own room etc as its none of their business IMO - good luck in whatever you decide to do xx

DS goes through phases when he'll want to sleep in with us (when he's ill/it's v. cold etc.). TBH although he's always gone back in his cot eventually, during every phase I've thought, "I don't care, he can sleep in our bed till he's 10 if it means I don't have to get up." Sod them and do what you want.

I wouldn't bother with the moulded mattress thing - they probably make co-sleeping more dangerous IMO as I think you are more aware of the baby when you are cuddled up to them, and also, if you are worried you wouldn't notice rolling onto something as big as a baby, how is a little moulded mattress going to stop you rolling on them?

If you want to get an extra safety device then get a bedside cot or convert any normal cot

Three In A Bed is an excellent book too.

Joining in a bit late, but we co-slept with our DS (2 and half) when DD was born, and continued to do so until DS was 3. Worked out fine, with baby on one side toddler on the other. As others have said, 3 in a bed is a wonderful book, and the lifesaver for me, with the co-sleeping, was that it made the nights so much easier (something to really think about if you are on your own), which meant I was a better mother during the day. Good luck.

I still sleep with both mine,the "baby" (now 2y 9m)and my five year old.It has been fine all along.The first few weeks with the new baby were the only tricky time as her crying would wake my then 2 year old and she would get really upset,but she didn't want to sleep without me,so my Dh would end up on the sofa with the baby beside him in a moses basket and I would wake when she cried while he slept!(we were on a boat then so this was only about ten feet away but enough that her cries didn't wake my toddler)After a short while we all moved back into the big bed bunk and my older dd started sleeping through any crying.As I would feed the baby whenever she woke anyway she didn't cry for long.Now we have a mattress on the floor,the littlest still sleeps next to the wall as she always has,then me,then DD1,then DH who usually ends up on the small mattress beside the big one intended for DD1.Its lovely actually,although I would like to cuddle my Dh more,and our sex life has had to shift to the sofa!I like falling asleep with my girls next to me and they feel safe and secure.I read an interview with Jo Whiley and she has a huge family bed and her four kids all pile in at times even though some are virtually grown -up.I thought it sounded fab,just as it should be.Humans are not designed to sleep alone.

I still co sleep with DS and with newborn DD. WE are a four person family bed. We made it ourselves and it's 3 metres wide and we all have a really comfy night in it. Why is it important for him to have his own bed? Did you ask them? I would be curious to hear their answer. We didn't have a philosophy about it. Tried to avoid co sleeping for 14 months of sleepless nights with DS in his own bed and broke down in the end and invited him in. Best decision ever made. Do what feels right for you and tell them to keep it shut and stick to the job in hand... Midwifery. x

Thank you!