how to get my 4.5 months baby to go to bed later?

[willowstar]

Hello

About 3 weeks ago my little 4 month old girl started to develop a routine at bedtime. it just became clear that she wanted to be in bed by 8, so we started bathing her about 7:30 then feed and sleep. this is great, my OH gets home in time to have his bath with her. however, it is getting increasingly difficult to keep her up until then and the last hour she is pretty upset and basically begging to go to sleep. I feel torn between meeting her needs and the needs of my OH who only has those precious 20 mins or so in the bath with her all day.

I guess the obvious answer is to try to encourage her to have a later nap in the afternoon but we struggle with naps as it is, she is so hugely variable and also we are out and about every day so there isn't much opportunity to get into routines, she tends to sleep in the car in the afternoons mainly.

Is it fair to try to keep her up when she so clearly wants to go to bed? She sleeps 12 hours with 2 or 3 wakings during the night which I don't mind. The last 2 nights she has been asleep by 7:30 as I just couldn't keep her going any longer but it is a huge stuggle for OH to get home on time for that. Any thoughts?

Sorry, but I think that your OH is just going to have to put up with seeing his baby girl asleep and in bed when he gets in.

She is tired. Let her sleep.

He will have so many years of her being awake later, as hard as it may seem right now.

I agree with MmeLindt, she's in her routine now and you shouldn't change this as it'll be distressing for you both. It's not fair on her to keep her awake, he can bathe her and put her to bed on his days off.

no, it isn't fair to keep her up.
i can understand that your OH wants to spend time with her, but you do need to put her needs first. she is a tiny baby, he is an adult

thank you, we have just had this discussion and came to the same conclusion, we have to go with her...we have in every area of her life so far so it was going against the grain to try to keep her up. he is going to do everything he can to get home earlier.

thanks for your wise words :-)

She probably needs to go to bed by 7pm. You shouldn't try and keep her going - thats not fair on her - she's only a tiny baby.

My DC are older now but my DH tries to get home for 6.30pm a couple of times a week and he stays later on the other days.