I am at my wit's end and just don't know how to deal with my DS. He is 4 in April and for as long as he has been able, he has had OCD traits that have driven me mad.
If something happens that doesn't neatly fit into 'his' way of doing it, he has a complete meltdown. However this has got worse recently, his OCD behaviours have increased and his meltdowns have got longer, louder and more violent.
For example, if I give him his dinner, his cutlery cannot be on his plate, when I give him his ceral his spoon cannot be in the bowl. He doesn't like me putting the toothpaste on his toothbrush or having his food cut up for him (the poor student found that out at his nursery when she cut up his lunch for him and he had a complete meltdown there).
But as I said it has been getting worse and today has just been awful. We were waiting for the bus as we were going to meet some friends at soft play. His nose was running so I took one of his tissues from the packet to give it to him so he could wipe it. Anyway he started screaming "That's my TISSUE NOOOOOO" and it escalated. I managed to calm him down slightly just as the bus came but as soon as we were on the bus the meltdown continued. he was so awful that the bus driver asked us if I could either calm him down or we'd have to get off and wait for another one as he was a distraction and dangerous. I completely understood and I was going to get off the next stop anyway because he was screaming, throwing his head back (busted my lip) and threatening to throw his boots at his sister.
So we got off the bus and he refused to walk so I had to carry him for 20 minutes as he was wriggling screaming hitting and throwing himself about with the strength of 10 men. I got him home and sent him straight upstairs. He calmed down about half an hour afterwards, we spoke and i explained to him about the tantrums and that he had missed out on seeing his friend but he doesn't seem to realise/care. He had another tantrum an hour ago becasue is sister was touching 'his' toy.
The thing is, these tantrums are awful, not your typical run of the mill toddler tantrums.
He goes to a day nursery (term time only) 4 days a week and is usually OK there although he does kick off if one of his little OCD traits aren't met (i.e the student cutting up his food) His tantrums aren't as violent there though and the nursery nurses can put him in a separate cushioned room to calm down. I don't have that luxury at home. It just tends to be with me though and as I said it's getting worse.
Do I accept these OCD things and try and work my life around them (tissues, cutlery and people touching his toys)?
Or do I put my foot down and carry on doing things the way I want to do them rather than pussy footing around my DS?
If he is getting worse now will he continue to get gradually more obsessive about stuff? When does it become a problem?
I will say that if he is in a very good mood and not tired at all, he doesn't tend to tantrum about his obsessions as much. For instance yesterday he was lovely and happy all day and didn't even kick off when I gave him his lunch with the wrong colour plate. These days are very few and far between though.
Please help, I can't have another day like this.