Gaaaaaahhhhrrrrrr could whoever left this horrible screeching alien...

[stillfrazzled]

...in place of the lovely little boy I've had for the last 2.6 years please just call me to arrange a swap?

I will consider a cash reward. Thank you for your attention.

For the last two days my adorable, funny, articulate little DS has been tantrumming four times a day (so more in last 2 days than his entire life to date). He tells me he wants to live with Granny and Grandad, not me. He says I don't want him to be happy.

And worst of all, he's gone from being dry for the last two weeks to having peed his pants three times a day for two days.

I know he's only doing it to push my buttons but the thing is, IT'S WORKING.

I am a lousy mother and I'm so tired and I'm waiting for a scan next week which will tell me if I'm 7 weeks pg or having my second mc of 2010. What with all the shouting, I couldn't blame the new bean if it doesn't stick around. I could cry.

What's happened in the last 2 days? Has he heard you talking about/have you directly talked to him about the new baby you're hoping to have? If so, he may be feeling as if you're trying to replace him/don't like him anymore...

It sounds like he's had a sudden shock in some way, for such a dramatic change in behavoiur. He probably needs lots of cuddles and to feel loved and supported. Have you asked him how he's feeling?

I'm really sorry to hear about your MC and hope that tomorrow's scan brings you good news, I know what that feels like and wish you and your little bean and yolk sac the very, very best of luck.

He hasn't had a shock that I know of - we haven't discussed the pregnancy around him at all.

All we did was have a lovely weekend with my parents, who adore him and will happily plan the whole day around him. So can see I'm a poor substitute - he's normally a bit more challenging the day after a visit - but nothing like this.

Sorry, just given birth and total baby brain - I meant next week's scan!

Also, don't beat yourslf up about this. It sounds like you're doing an absolutely stellar job with him, he sounds like an adorable little boy with a lovely temperament who is just feeling a little bit insecure.

Simultaneous posting.
Hmmm, well that's a little bit different then, I can remember preferring time with my grandparents to time with my mother as I used to get terribly spoilt by my granny. I know that my parents asked them not to give us certain things and to be a little bit stricter with us, which may or may not have worked- so long ago, can't remember specifics!
I don't remember having such a strong reaction to returning to the 'real world' though, but maybe you could try explaining that being with granny and grandad is a nice treat but they can't look after him all the time, or that you love him just as much as they do, but if you did things the way that they did it wouldn't be so nice to visit them?
No idea if that would work, but anything worth a go if you're feeling wretched. If it's a common thing for him to act up a little after seeing them, maybe have a word with your parents? If the way they treat your son alters his behaviour, they should be understanding and willing to help you out, maybe by 'talking you up' to him, or letting you appear to be the good guy occasionally?

He's very emotionally expressive - isn't he - I think you should be very proud

I too had a very tantrummy DS1, and it peaked at around 2.5.

I wonder if he's sickening for something, hence the sudden change in behaviour - that might explain the peeing and the bad mood. Check his temperature. Also, could he be teething ? (sorry - I am very old and can't remember when they start to get their molars).

If none of the above, then the change from being with grandparents may be it.

Keep Calm and Carry on - it is nothing personal. If you keep calm it will make it much more bearable.
Is he having tantrums when he can't have something or you tell him No ? - if so, try another strategy - instead of No, say - yes, you can have it after lunch (for instance).

A good book I used was "Tantrums" - by Michelle Kennedy. A good book to read to him is "Tiger and the Temper Tantrum". Also "Playful Parenting"

If it's more of a no-reason meltdown - give him big cuddles if he'll let you.

He might possibly be a little too expressive

The meltdowns seem mostly after naps/sleep, but can't see a common cause. Try to hug him but get pushed away and told I'm not wanted. Is v wearing.

To be fair to my folks, they don't let him run riot - they do discipline, feed veg etc. But they will plan the day round him, where I guess we're off to nursery/cooking dinner/popping to shops etc a lot.

Is it straight after naps ?

DS2 used to be in a foul mood for about 30 mins after waking from his nap - terrible timing as I'd then have to take him to pick up DS1 from school - I swear everyone thought he was vile ....

Only thing that worked was TV and a biscuit.

He's never been a morning person (if you take morning to mean whenever he wakes up).

And he's extra miserable if he's woken, which I often have to because he won't sleep till 1pm or so, and if he sleeps much beyond 3.15 or so he won't go to bed at 8pm or wakes at the crack of dawn.

But the last couple of days has been a different magnitude entirely. Normally I offer raisins, a drink and a cuddle but these have been rejected with scorn. Guess I should try an episode of Thomas or something, but then there's the storm when you want to turn it off...