Unpleasant Family Life

[WinkyWinkola]

Does anyone else have this?

It's the first day of half term. I've given up.

The constant bickering and squabbling between ds1 (nearly 5) and dd (nearly 3) is driving me nuts. I've just plonked them in front of the box after a morning of them being vile to each other and wholly unco-operative and generally unpleasant.

I wish it were unusual but every weekend is the same. H usually gets very stressed and miserable with it too. I sometimes just stare at a wall after I've put them to bed and think I really do not enjoy family life because it seems to be constant crying, whining, nasty words said (mostly from ds - H and I manage to keep our rows confined to when it's just us) and depressingly horrible behaviour. Ds seems to take great pleasure in making his sister upset or defiantly refusing to do the simple things we ask him to do.

Is the same for everyone or am I alone in my poor old me status today? It's making me want to fast forward our lives to when they're 20+ and not living with me anymore. Seriously.

DD is 18 weeks

DS is 3.5 years

one of them always needs something from me

it is knackering isn't it?

getting out of the house seems to make us all feel a lot better TBH

even if it is a 30 minute trip to the local shop to buy something

It does get better, take heart.
I have 2 dds (5 and 9) and although I still have many times when they drive me insane with their bickering we also have a lot of 'nice' moments. They play together and leave me in peace and dd1 likes to help dd2 with her homework etc.

Having said that, I think fighting and bickering is par for the course with siblings -I remember some fierce battles with my brothers! I think that when it gets too much, get out of the house. Even if they are still arguing, the sound of traffic etc drowns it out a bit!

I agree with what everyone else has said, and it's probably not too long until it gets easier. Mine are 6, 5 & 4 now and everything in our house is a lot more positive than it was 12 months ago.

My dad has an expression with a lot of truth in it, which is 'Catch them doing something good'. Actively look for your DS doing something kind / cooperative / helpful (however vile he's being the rest of the time ) and praise him to the skies. It obviously sends a strong message to the child, but tbh it makes me feel better too, just to know I've said something nice to my child rather than constantly nagging and shouting.

It's so frustrating because I do praise like mad when he or she do something good. Always because I'm totally delighted when they co-operate.

But I'm a bit heartened to know that it's not so unusual for family life to be so horrid and that it will get better. It's just that every single weekend or time they're together after ds gets back from school, it's really not good.

I think the ages of your dc have a lot to do with it, tbh. As they both get a bit older it should start to get better.
If it's any consolation, when my 2 were younger I also had moments of wishing the years away.

We have just been for a walk and they fought almost all the way about who would be in front. I was losing the will to live! But now they are playing schools and being really sweet, so it really is swings and roundabouts.

When it gets too much, I don't think there's anything wrong with sticking them in front of a dvd with a few sweets and giving yourself a breather.