Pocket money - please tell me your experiences

[MrsDinky]

DS has just turned 6, he is doing quite a lot of money related stuff in school (learning different types of coins etc) and some of his friends now get pocket money.

Please can you tell me your experiences of what age to start, what rules to lay down (if any), and whether making them earn it with little chores (or docking it for bad behaviour) have been good experiences. Thank you!

small amount each week, given on same day each week. he gets to chose what sweets he buys with it, when its gone it gone and no more sweets that week.

they soon learn what combination of sweets "fit" inside their pocket money. and have to make choices about one large thing or a few small things. And weather to eat all on one day or save something for another day.

We started at 3. with 10p - enough for 2 lollys OR one chewy bar or one little pack of haribo.

ds1 started at 4y3m - he got £1 a week.
At that point I stopped buying him little treats when out and about - and he would decide whether he wanted to spend his pocket money on them.

ds2 is 4y1m. I can't possibly see how this system would work with him in just a few months time, he wouldn't understand the concept.

I occasionally use his pocket money as a behaviour tool - but not for chores, just things that I want to reinforce or to get him doing (once it was buckling up his own seat belt when he had been doing for months and stopped doing) but it is pretty rare and I haven't done it for ages.

He now gets 70p a week from me (his dad and I split when he was 5 and at that point he went to 50p from dad and 50p from me) when he turned 7 and will keep adding 10p a year for a few years.

He also gets 50p a week from my mum as she used to buy him a comic or something every so often and still does the same for ds2 but doesn't see ds1 so often and so decided to give him the 50p a week about a month ago.

My 5yo gets 50p a week. He can spend it on whatever he likes. He usually saves for a few weeks then gets a small toy. He has worked out that its better value to save for a multipack of sweets than buy a single pack. He has saved quite a lot and could buy something decent but he hasn't bought anything bigger than a few pounds yet.

He doesn't do chores for it. He is expected to do some very basic things (setting the table/putting clothes away) but he isn't paid for jobs. I don't want to get into the situation when the money is not worth doing the job iykwim.

I was interested in this topic because I'm finding my dd's pocket money doesn't meet her desires. She is 14 - we live from pay to pay and can't give her the little extras. I'm wondering what is a reasonable amount for teenagers to receive?

DD is 8. She has a reward chart printed off the Super Nanny website. It has 16 circles in the picture and she colours in each circle for good behaviour (things we have specified like getting ready for school when told to, going to bed without arguing, keeping her room tidy). If she is rude to us or argues (badly) about bedtime then a circle is rubbed out. So it can go up and down. She calls it her "bad and mad chart" as the idea was mainly to help her with her temper. Each circle is worth 5p, so she can have a max of 90p pocket money a week. She can also get another £1 depending how well she does on her spellings (10p a word).

interesting GD... we do something similar with dd (not so much behaviour related but chore related) but I am finding that if she doesn't get the total amount, she doesn't care. It could be bravdo - I don't go in to much dialogue with her except when she is hankering after something, I do try to point out how many weeks of pocket money that could be.

I'm thinking about changing systems to a % of age instead. A friend of hers receives 50% of her age - so £7 for my dd. I am also considering opening a bank account for her and transferring the money so that she doesn't have the temptation as she goes by the local sweet shops.

I just don't know .

Mine are a little older - 9 & 10 and get a fiver a week each. They are expected to tidy their crap away and at least have a try at chucking their stuff back in the boxes in their room , and money is deducted for bad behaviour (but can then be earned back by being extra helpful!)

They've now got a bank account each and I take them there every week or 2 to do their banking.

I like them to put it in the bank, rather than spend it on shite every week. They then take it out when there is something they really want, rather than going to the shop and spending it just because they have it, iyswim. ds1 loves to save, ds2 loves to spend, but I'm trying to teach them both a balance

Thank you all for this, it has given me plenty to think about. I think we might have problems if we start it for him but not DD (4) so might wait a little bit longer until they can both start together. I used to have ap ost office account when I was little and loved going in and putting my money in and out like a grown up, I had forgotten that till I read your post heQet.

We were going to start pocket money with ds1 when he got to Juniors, but so far I keep forgetting to give it to him, and he forgets to ask for it, so he hasn't had any yet.

How on earth do the rest of you manage though? Finding 70p on a Saturday morning or whenever. Then 60p for the younger sibling. What if you don't have change? Do they wait til the next day? Do you forget? Maybe I'm just useless, but it seems like one more thing to try and remember, and I'm already sinking under the hassle of remembering homework, sports kit, snacks, violins etc etc.

exactly my problem kitkat hence why I'm thinking about a bank account. Hopefully this will encourage her to save too .

ds1 has a spreadsheet!

well - I have the spreadsheet, but it gets updated for weekly pocket money less any spends.
Mainly because I kept forgetting, didn't have change etc.

Mine get £2 they are between 7 - 10. I based the figure on the cost of a comic as I remember that I got 10p a week and could get either a comic or sweets, but not both. However I don't let them buy sweets with their money. We tend to watch a movie or x-factor type thing on a Saturday night and have sweets then.

They save up for things they want and cam earn more for chores or less for being painful.

My 17 yr old gets £10/week
my 12yr old gets £5/week

They get it on a Sunday after their rooms have been cleaned/tidied and vacuumed...that way I don't care what they look like in the week..keep the doors shut! If they don't do that job, they don't get it...simples!

I start pocket money at 11. It has to pay also for 1/2 the cost of friend's presents for birthdays but I give extra earning possibilities at Christmas time to help for presents then.

I don't deduct from pocket money for bad behaviour...they lose TV or Computer time for that

I don't pay for general day to day chores...we are all part of a family and so should all chip in.

I think it all depends on income. The amount shouldn't matter too much, it's what you can manage on a regular basis but it is a nice start to a bit of independence...I know youngest spends hers on ridiculously priced drinks at Neros on way home from school with her friends but she can only afford that once a week so it is her choice!!!

Ah, spreadsheets.

To go with the ones I made last week for remembering what stuff to take to school on what day.

My house is going to be covered in charts.

So, do I give ds1 (7 1/2) the same as ds2 (nearly 6)?

And what about dd? She's only 3 but doesn't like to miss out.

What if ds1 argues for back payments? But ds2 will go ballistic if he doesn't get to join in for another 18 months.

I know, I know, I'm trying to talk myself out of it.

My 12yo DD gets a fiver every Monday morning, that includes any snacks/drinks she wants to get at school. We've also got a magazine subscription by post for her, so she actually gets about 7 a week.

My dd gets a varying amount. She earns tokens by loading the dishwasher and doing her homework and extra maths without whining. She can spend it on whatever she wants. With her it is generally a cuddly toy although I recently instigated a rule that if she does get a new one, an old one has to go.

Well, I'm thinking maybe extra for chores over and above the day to day, but agree with MrsPoppins that certain things really just have to be jobs that we all muck in and do. But I think I will start with a flat amount, and refrain from either giving extra or deducting it for a while, see how we get on. Thank you all for your thoughts!

re change - I stash 5ps and coppers in a jar. pocket money then comes out of that jar. When pocket money rises I may have to add 10s to the jar.