Bedtime for 13 week old DS

[Kodit]

Hi I am struggling to decide what is the best thing to do about a suitable bedtime for my 13 week old DS. We co-sleep and would like to try and get him to go in his cot, so we decided to introduce a bedtime routine, starting at 6.45-7pm, with a bath and then feeding him to sleep in our bed, transferring him to the cot when he is asleep. Is this too early for his age though? Would it be better to feed him downstairs through the early part of the evening and then doing bedtime at 8pm-ish? Feeling very confused as I am not sure what is apprpriate for his age.

As long as he is happy to go to sleep at that time I don't see why you can't try to get into a routine that includes a bedtime. I think most babies thrive on routine TBH.

If you are trying to get him into his own cot though, it might be worth putting him in there still awake, and/or for daytime naps. If you put him in there while he is asleep and he suddenly wakes in a strange place on his own he might get upset?

Thanks for your reply. The problem we have is thathe fights sleep so putting him in the cot awake just results in him crying. We have to rock him to sleep in his pram during the day.

We started our bedtime routine with DD at about 3 months. I'd cluster feed her downstairs with the lights dimmed and then take her upstairs. She would also cry if just put in the cot so I'd feed/rock/sing/shush her to sleep before putting her in. Often she would wake immediately and cry again, so I'd pick her up and repeat. Eventually she would calm quicker and I tried putting her down just before she went to sleep (at the staring into space stage!).

DD is 5.5 months now and I can often put her into the cot awake and just shush her from the chair. I usually stay until she's asleep but DH will just walk out Obviously we pick her up if she's crying and repeat the rocking and shushing to calm her. I've found that she often cries because I've missed her cue that she's tired so she gets overtired and distressed. However, she can and does fall asleep on her own now and some nights she wakes and gives a little whimper of a cry and immediately settles herself.

It is taking time but I just keep thinking that DD is still learning how to go to sleep on her own. I've not managed to crack her naps though!

At 3 months, we'd attempt to get her in the cot and asleep around 7-8pm - so would start at 7pm and be chuffed if she was asleep by 8pm

Now she's older and I'm better at spotting the cues that she's tired, she's often taken upstairs at about 6:30pm (for PJs, story and last feed) and asleep by around 7pm-ish.

Kodit, my DS used to be the same - we cracked it by putting him down slightly earlier - if he gets too tired he will wind himself up and get upset. He's now 11 months and tends to wind down more slowly now. When he's tired he'll stand with his head on my knee and cuddle so I know it's time for bed!

If you're worried about him being upset, perhaps put him in his cot for daytime naps to start with (after he's fallen asleep), and then keep checking or sit by him so you're there when he wakes. Then he'll know you're never far away?

Don't sweat it too much though. We worried so much about a routine, (we never co-slept in the early days either), and yet in spite of that he's gone through numerous phases of spending the whole night in our bed, having his daytime naps on my lap etc. When's he's teething or when the nights are very cold he just wants to be near mummy! As long as you're consistent with trying the cot it'll all come right in the end!