Shall we have another baby...?

[boundarybabe]

DH and I were discussing The Next Child last night..... DS is one this month and I'd really like a 2(ish) year gap. We've decided provisionally that I'll finish my box of pills (10 week's worth) and then we'll just see what happens. I fell straight away last time.

I'm undecided though.... if we have another, we're still in a flat (on the market but no real interest yet, but it's bound to sell in a year, right?). DS is still in our bedroom as our spare room is full of junk. On mat leave I'd be earning less again.

On the other hand, we'd have more CB and tax credits so we wouldn't be that much worse off if I had to quit work as once I've paid nursery fees I don't have much left anyway! I keep thinking we'd be daft to do it now, but on the other hand our circumstances could change at any time, but the age gap is forever. And what if it takes a while for me to get pg this time...??

If we have a larger age gap it's going to be a longer time before I can really start earning again.

DH is with me on all of this but I think the thought of being skint is scaring him a bit.

Aaargh. WWYD?

Go for having another one

There's never a right time, and always a hundred reasons you can think of to say why NOT.

If you know you want another child that's the most important thing. the other stuff will fall into place one way or another.

Perhaps having another baby will force you tpo de-junk your spare room and make the flat more saleable? We were a family of six with only two bedrooms at one point and it was fine!

go for it, just clear out the junk from your spare room and you will be ready i think

I conceived DD2 on DD1s 1st birthday and it is a really good age gap to have - they are so close and have their little games and giggles.

I conceived ds2 on ds1's first birthday too. It's a great age gap. I then conceived dd on ds2's 2nd birthday. Still a great age gap!

There's no real benefit to being too logical when considering having another child, or you'd never do it all!

Thanks ladies (or gents!)

We've been talking about it again this morning. I think Dh is ready as well, he's just worried about providing for us all. But then I said I'd rather have a happy family who are skint than feel guilty about having an only child who is only marginally better off financially!

BTW, I'm not having a go at people deciding have only one child, but I was an only child until I was 8 and I don't want that for DS.

Definately go for it!!! I have ds1 23months and ds2 8months and it's fantastic...they love each other to bits! Absolutely worth the hard work and lack of money Goodluck

go for it!
a sister/brother is a very big treasure for your DS, is a forever friend , don't leave her alone

Roccia - you might want to consider how insensitive your post is to those who can't have more than one. Agree that by the sounds of things op should go for it But having a sibling does not guarantee companionship just as those without are not destined to loneliness.

We are in the same position as you OP, in 2 bed flat and wondering if we should wait until we can move and sell our soul for 3 bed mortgage! DS is already 2.5 though which I think is going to make the decision for me!

I think you should go for it, as most have said..there is always a reason NOT to.

MindySimmons Roccia clearly didnt mean to cause offense!

Go for it. We were in the same position as you and now we're expecting triplets! DD is 18 months and my triplet boys are expected in April time.
It's clearly going to blow us out of the water financially but what I'm trying to say is you can't plan everything perfectly. You'd regret waiting more than getting on with it I think and financially you can get by on surprisingly little.

If you want another one, have one. The rest will fall into place - it will just have to!!

Puppie - I'm sure she wasn't but really gets my goat when people just don't think. I can't imagine it every being appropriate to say don't have more due to the potential psychological trauma being displaced by another child could bring, birth order issues, reported educational impacts on later children, competition etc etc as these points are just as ludicrous.

More children or no more, do what every is right for you, just wish there was a lot less judgement/melodrama on MN

I'd wait but then I very deliberately planned a gap just under 2.5 yrs with mine. I have a few friends who regretted a small gap under 2 years as they said DC1 was basically still a baby when DC2 arrived and took all the attention. They are far better able to understand it all once they are past 2 - between 2 and 3 they change from a baby to a little person. Any gap works out in the long run and perhaps everyone thinks what they did was the best, but I really treasure the extra time I had having fun with my first child before the new baby came and life for a while becomes about juggling again!

Oooh yes, have another one! Babies are lovely!

Do you want one ready made? you are very welcome to take DD3, 23 months and dont I bloody know it, face like an angel, huge vocabulary, nice little runner; after the week I am having with her I will do you a good deal