Worst nappy changing moment?

[Lionstar]

So I was just putting a clean nappy on 4 month old DS when he did a spectacularly accurate wee straight into his own face. Cue lots of spluttering and wailing and ... swallowing . Poor boy, I cleaned him up, washed his face & hands and gave him a quick breastfeed - breastmilk has miraculous properties doesn't it, and fresh wee is sterile no?

His first taste of anything but mummy milk, and he has to choose wee?

I feel bad for laughing a bit too , the look on his face was priceless. Teach me not to go around admiring my new nappy stash (Bumgenius Flips in case you're interested), and keep an eye on that mischevious winky instead

Which reminds me of another one, from when he was a bit smaller, maybe 4 weeks or so. we'd had a bad night with both DCs and DD had ended up in bed with us (and DP buggered off to the spare room). When she woke up she'd wet the bed (very unusual occurrence, she'd been trained for 9 months, but had a bad cough). So I stripped the bed and put the mattress topper over the bannister to dry. Then had to change DS - we do this on the bed on a changing mat. So change and dress him, THEN notice the big wet patch on our (rather expensive organic mattress). It was some way off the changing mat and I hadn't noticed him do it at all - but it could only have been that infernal mischevious winky

I didn't tell DP about the second wee

For sure the time I was changing DS on a train. The train violently lurched and I managed to slap the smelly nappy over my arm. I was wearing a long sleeved top with only a bra under it and had nothing to change into.

I actually hacked off both sleeves by cutting the arm stitching with baby nail clippers.

I was cleaning up dd3's very pooey bum on a changing mat on the floor when our new dog came along and briskly started licking it off her bum cheeks ! Cue me desperately trying to elbow him out of the way whilst simultaneously stopping dd from flipping over and running amok with her bottom still half-covered in crap.

My DH was changing (very)new born DD1 once when she exploded. It was his first experience of nappy changing.

Poor lamb was covered in it (DH that is ) Hearing a loud expletive I went in there to find him elbow deep in pooh trying to clean up the mess dripping down the sides of the chest of drawers we used as a changing table!

goingonthetelly that must have been TRUE desparation (and taken ages)

It didn't take that long really, just used it as a stitch ripper.

Surely better than trying to wash it in the tiny sink and having a soggy still smelly arm , haha

I remember as a child my older sister had been making a cake, then changed the babies poo filled terry nappy, got it on her finger and licked it off!!

Or a couple of months ago when I was carrying the nappy full of poo to empty it in the toilet and it flipped over and the lot landed on my foot. I caught it mid air like a football - very impressive.

I got caught without a nappy round my mums once and used a teatowel, was pretty good.

Lol at dog licking babies poo! My 2 cats always come over for a look

Brilliant, my story is very boring compared to the hilarious tales on here

DS had his most explosive poo so far (there's still time, he's only 9 weeks old so still got weaning to come ) just as there was a knock on the door. There I was, up to my elbows in poo and I would have ignored it, but it was a friendly sort of knock, not unlike FIL does, so I called out for him to let himself in. He doesn't, so I get up and open the front door with my elbow. It was a lost delivery driver with verbal diarrhoea who had to tell me his life history in amongst asking where a road I've never heard of was.
So I'm stood there, covered in poo, DS getting his feet in the poo in the background, unable to get a word in edgeways. Took ages to get away!

BettyTurnip - that has made me laugh so much

DS bit his tongue once when he was 8 months old, bled lots, so of course he swallowed a lot of blood. Which turns black as it passes through the digestive tract. DH caught the next day's pooey nappy . The scream of "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck meeeeeeeeeeeeee" could be heard though the neighbourhood.

(He wasn't expecting the entire nappy to be filled with black poo from belly buttom to top of bum crack and I'd forgotten to mention it would probably be ugly .)

DS at 12 weeks in Tate Modern - Dsis had come to visit for the weekend and we got the train up to Tate Modern and I calmly had changed him in the pushchair while we were waiting for coffee and cake earlier on and she had been really impressed. Had a nice look round the Rothko exhibit - Reason we went - and then around a couple of other galleries when there was an explosion at the rear end.
Left Dsis and pushchair outside ladies and went in to find changing table kind of in corridor into ladies, stripped DS to find that it was all over clothes, vest everything and he required washing in ladies sinnk - which have v v fancy taps which I think you had to keep pushing to keep on, changing bag is now out of site in corridor, realise I have nothing to dry him with so now carry dripping wet baby back to changing bag, find muslim, dry DS, new nappy, clean clothes, Go back out to find dsis wondering whether I had fallen in the loo or something as this all took about 20/30 mins.

Good job she was there because if I had taken the pushchair in I would have blocked the doorway. Never have I seen such badly designed baby changing facilities.

But once you have done that you can do anything

I'm loving BettyT's story. I grew up on a farm, and the things that dogs would eat doesn't bear mentioning - a bit of baby poo is mild in comparison!

ahedgehog what a lovely picture of your DS having a wash in the sink . Push button, manouever squawking child, swipe at poo, splash feet, ignore blank stares ... and repeat

Hedgehog - with you on the changing at Tate Modern. Tip though I discovered last week is to use the one off the cafe where they have a proper changing area in the disabled loo rather than the crazy corridor thing.

3 wees during one change is the record from my DS. He has remarkably accurate aim - direct hit to the nearest face (mine, DHs, his own) every time.

Changing DD in middle of night when she was a few weeks old. She did a wee and poo at the same time and they kind of combined into the same stream, which then changed the angle and shot right up into me. Got poo in my hair.

my 4 year old sons so bad that we take him to the shed to change. We've had the decorator in. TWICE

I was sat, lovely and cosy, feeding little baby DD2 in the kitchen. She wriggled, and I heard an explosion. Looked down to see it already coming out the end of her leggings. My mistake then was to run about with her at arms length, trying to find the changing stuff, as the poo dripped on to the (thankfully wipe-clean) floor, I got more and more flustered and the baby giggled and gurgled as she did more...