Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Parent of 4+; how did you know enough is enough?

13 replies

LittleSilver · 10/02/2010 23:20

We are currently ttc #4. I am so much wanting to get pg again (DD3 9mo and still bf, so no af yet) and today I took a HPT and got a bfn.

Rationally I think we should prob stop at #4, for reasons concerning finances, practicalities and my career. But I can easily see myself whoops! pg with #5 in a couple of years. Will I know when to stop having babies? Do you "know"? Does the longing to be pg and have another baby ever leave you?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

OhWhatNoooow · 11/02/2010 10:49

I have 4dc, and desperately wanted dd4. After having her though, i found it all abit much and can't see myself wanting another for a long time, if ever. I think you know when enough is enough because you'll feel like you cant cope with another or you are content as it is. Nature doesn't let us go on and on having babies anyway, its going to stop sometime. Take it easy and see how you feel after #4.

4andnotout · 11/02/2010 10:57

I have 4 dd's and we have agreed that we will ttc again when dd4 is 2 (ocot) but if it doesn't happen by the time im 30 we will stop, as i will have had babies in my teens, twenties and thirties if we carry on! I hope that number 5 wil cure the "itch" of broodiness but it's not just me even dp says a 5th would fit in!

bumpybecky · 11/02/2010 11:08

We've stopped at 4, dd1(11), dd2(9), dd3 (5 tomorrow!) and ds(2). I'd love to be pregnant and have another baby, but I know I couldn't manage another child. I'm finding it harder as they get older, our eldest is nearly 12 and is the stroppiest of them all, she's not getting any easier as she gets older, has been like this for 4 years or more now. When we get to proper teenage years I just can't see me coping with a baby as well

Having said all of that, it's only really been the last 6 months (probably less) or so that I've felt like this. DH knew he wanted to stop at 4, he'd have been happy with just 3. It's taken longer for me to accept it. I know now this is the right decision for all of us, I've just had a mirena fitted and DH is booked for a vasectomy, there will be no accidents!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

stressedHEmum · 11/02/2010 13:43

We have 5 and we knew it was time to stop when the cardiac specialist told us that another child would kill me. I would have liked another baby (not so sure about OH), but you have to be practical really. Also, I was 37 when DS4 arrived, having a baby in my 40s isn't something I would have relished to be honest. All my other pregnancies were so bad and I was so ill throughout, that I would have had too many problems looking after the 5 I had while carrying another one.

Also, you have to take into account the embarrassment factor for the older kids. Many teenagers are a bit mortified if their mum is pregnant or has a small baby. DS1 has a friend whose mum had a baby when he was 17, it was a nightmare for him re: teasing and stuff. It also really stuffed up his exam results, being kept awake by baby every night. My DS1 was told by one of his teachers that she was "shocked and appalled" when she found out that he was the oldest of 5 with a new baby brother.

Original poster

LittleSilver · 11/02/2010 20:02

Stressed how extrememyl rude of his teacher! And why appalled? I hope you complained.

OP posts:

FlamingoBingo · 11/02/2010 20:05

I don't know - we just did! We planned to just have as many as we wanted, and after I had DD3, we thought we'd never stop feeling broody. I used not to believe women who said they actually didn't want any more children - I thought they were lying and denying their true feelings! Now I know! I just don't have any desire for more children. I don't feel broody when I see babies. I don't have any desire to be pregnant any more, or give birth. I just don't want to do it again!

It's really quite liberating

psychomum5 · 11/02/2010 20:48

my body told me enough was enough....I almost died, as did DS2, when I was pregnant with him.

he was our fifth tho, and we had pretty much already decided that he would be our last anyway, especially if he was a boy (he was, obviously), as then it meant we had the ratio we were hoping for

Wallace · 11/02/2010 20:58

So did anyone decide not to have more only because of practicalities like space in the house?

Not that I'm broody for another one, honest...!

sweetkitty · 11/02/2010 21:02

I'm pregnant with no 4 and he will be our last definitely, I don't think my body could cope with anotehr pregnancy TBH.

popsycal · 11/02/2010 21:06

swallace
run ladyrun
step away from the broodiness ;)

Wallace · 11/02/2010 21:09

popsy - just remind me about small babies + sleep and I should be able to get through this

psychomum5 · 12/02/2010 10:11

ah but wallace, think about those cute baby snuffling noises, and that bendy, sticky-out-bum-stretch thing they do when you pick them up, and the new baby smell, and that first smile when they realise you are their mummy, and the snuggling into you when you are the only one able to give them that specific comfort, and the swaddling them in the shawl and the little fist pokes up and out and the thumb goes into their little rosebud mouth.....oooh......

not helping am I

Wallace · 13/02/2010 10:22

stop that right now!

Flip