In the middle of a big row with DS - advice please re: gaming

[Vulture]

My 11.5yr old DS is claiming that he is the only one in school not allowed to play 16+ games and that he is teased for it and called a baby. He desparately wants to fit in. My instinct is to say no on the grounds that they are 16+ for a reason. A quick straw poll in the playground reveals that most Mums seem to have caved in on the grounds that the games contain nothing worse than they see on the TV anyway. What are your views - cave in but set guidance and be vigalent over what he is doing (gaming is already time limited to 2 hours max a day)or be the mean Mummy?

Vulture - Move your DS to my son's school then they'll be the only to not allowed to play 16+ games. This problem is increasingly rearing its head in our house - I let him watch the bit on Super Nanny to back up why I don't allow him to play HALO/CofD. I am genuinely shocked that other kids in his class play it (and the parents ask me permission if he can play the games when he goes to their house and I still say no). I do empathise that he probably sticks out, but wish more parents thought it thru like you are Vulture. I know it is a bit judgy but have come to the conclusion tis lazy parenting.

2 not to

I have to say I think I'd be more inclined to dig my heels in on this one. Mainly because I've become so involved in games in the past as an adult that they have actually had an effect on how I've behaved and thought in real life.

On the basis of this and on no scientific background reading whatsoever I believe they're potentially a lot more potent than films, mainly because you're not passive as a gamer; you have to act as well as react. Games mess with your mind, man

Thank you to everyone who has commented. I thought I would let you know the outcome of the row. DS came and apologised and said he could see my point of view. We have agreed that the ban stands but we will review again in a couple of years time. He seems to have accepted that I am only trying to protect him as growing up is hard enough to do anyway without growing up too fast. Thanks again - good luck with your own battles.

aw, he sounds very sweet and considerate

you must be doing a good job so far

Oh that's lovely! Can we swap?

Am now going to throw mine off 12+ Ultimate Alliance and drag him protesting to meaningful socialisation at cubs

I have nephews of 9yo and 12yo and the eldest plays Modern Warfare 2 with his dad regularly.

They also play on the Wii

At first I was but he is a good kid and well rounded .. games dont rule his life and he would much rather play football!

They wouldnt let him play resident evil or anything like that, so imo its a mixture of parents decision with lots of ground rules and supervision

I always churn out the same thing on these threads but here goes:

My background is games retail. It is likely that most of his friends are playing the 16/15+ games and I would wager that a large percentage of them are also playing the 18+ ones as well. Experience in talking to parents over the counter tells me that a lot of parents:

-don't give a shit
-think that games are not as influential as television/films
-give in for an easy life
-are not aware in the slightest of games ratings

This would accout for the majority of the people I spoke to over the course of my career.

Of course, that is not everyone.

My opinion, as a parent, a gamer, and an experienced games retailer (and therefore reviewer of games of many classifications)? Let him play the games suitable for his age. If you are unsure, have a go yourself, or ask in a games shop for a review, or their opinion, or check online. I would not let an 11 year old play 16+ games, no matter what his friends were doing, because in a year or so, it's going to be 18+ that he wants to play, and what are you going to say then?

Pif - I think you're almost certainly right on all those points. I suspect that many parents in their 30s and 40s haven't got a clue what kind of content 16 and 18 rated games have. I also suspect that few of them have found themselves strangely on edge as they walk down the street lest they are ambushed by giant alien ants with guns (although that might just be me ). I dread to think what kind of bizarreness happens to the mind of a 12yo playing GTA.