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4 yo "friendship" issues

5 replies

TheMysticMasseuse · 08/02/2010 16:08

We have just moved to a new city and dd1 started her new nursery in January. the mum of a little girl who lives just around the corner from us has been incredibly nice and invited us around for a playdate on the second week we were here, and has also invited dd to her daughter's birthday party on wednesday. It's dd's birthday next week so I have reciprocated the invite- I did say it to dd and she said ok, but now she's really upset about it, saying the little girl is not her friend, that she doesn't want to go to her party and doesn't want her to come to hers.

Normally I wouldn't force a friendship and tbh if she really doesn't want to hang out with this little girl, that's fine, but I am really grateful to the mum for being so welcoming and warm to both myself and dds (whcih has very much been the exception rather than the rule so far!) so I think it's only fair to invite them along to our house.

WWYD?

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junglist1 · 08/02/2010 16:14

I'd definetely invite the other child to the party. Observe their interactions while she's there, your daughter might just have had a bugbear on the day she said she didn't want her there. If they seem to get on at the party, take things as they come, if not, distance yourselves gradually

AllQuietOnThePippisFront · 08/02/2010 16:28

I'd def invite the child. I am not sure how many children there'll be as you are new to the city but they do not have to play together. My dd never played with all her friends at her parties.

Your dd is 4 so able to understand - I would explain to her that as the other girl has been so kind to invite her at her house and at her party she should invite her back. And that's that.
She#ll probably forget.

Again watch them at the party. If they really not get on fade away gradually. IMO your friendship are as important as your daughters and unless big issues involved if you like the mum she'll have to put up with daughter for an hour or so while you chat. No harm.

tommycarcetti · 08/02/2010 16:59

Yes, agree.

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Bucharest · 09/02/2010 08:53

Yes, definitely invite her....it might just be something that has already blown over, some mini-fallout.

TheMysticMasseuse · 09/02/2010 09:25

thanks everyone.

god, these 4 year olds going on 14

boys don't have these mini-dramas do they?

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