Best/worst age gap? Why??

[Poohbearsmom]

Hi all iv been going round and round on this one. Iv 19months between my boys who are now 3.4 and 21 months and i would like another child (or two...maybe....) but i found it very difficult in the very begining having ds1 so young and then juggling potty training with a little baba who would only sleep while held! Etc etc but it has gotten easier by each month and im so glad they are so close in age now as they have so much fun together and like so many of the same things but if i decide to start ttc this summer and get lucky soon then my dc's would be around 3 and 4&a half yo... So im worrying already how i would cope juggling all their diff needs and if it would effect negativly? Any advice or wisdom would be fantastic, thanks xxx

My DS was 5.3 when DD was born. I think it was hard for him starting school and having a new sister at the same time but they get on great together now and play together a lot more than I thought they would with such a big gap.
One difficulty is doing the school run with a baby in tow. Me and DP split the job, with one doing the school run and the other staying at home with the baby but I know other Mums who have to take their newborns out to schol every morning by 9 am and I dont know how they do it!

I have 24 months between my two and found it hard having what was essentially two babies at the same time. I felt terribly guilty that at 2 years old I was having to fobb dd off with cbeebies and sticker books so I had a moment to look after tiny ds. At 2 she still needed mummy on-call.

Next time I would like my youngest to be about 36 months when number 3 is born. I'll let you know how that goes!!

There are 4 years between myself and my little bro - no idea how that worked for my mum but bro and I are very close and always played together.

Forever Thats what in worried about cause dh works very early n the morning so i would have to do all the school runs with all 3 i know loads of ppl do it but HOW? thats one of the reasons why my dh thinks it would be better to start ttc way sooner rather then waiting, he thinks he the baby was bigger it would make it easier also to give ds1 help and time with his schoolwork but we are planning on ds1 going to play /preschool n sept so id stil hav to bring him there wit new baba&lil bro n toe but it doesnt seem as daunting iykwim... Mamight what age r ur dc's now? Tot relate to using telly on poor ds1 its a needs must situation at times really isnt it...

I have 20 mths, 20mths and 2.8years gaps between my four and its worked out fine including the school run

There are 5 years between myself and my brother and we've always got on really well.

I think it depends on so many factors not just the age gaps.

i had 18 months between dci&2 and 2.5 yeasrs between dc2&3 and found, and still find a year later that the 2.5 gap was much tougher.

dd and ds1 were babies together and i found it so easy wheras this time i had a 4 yo and a 2.5 yo and it was definitely more difficult to keep everyone happy.... and that's with two very easy older kids ho've never had a moments jealousy of ds2... i can't imagine how rough it would hve been if they'd reacted badly.

if i had wanted a 4th i'd have attempted another 18 month gap

O thank you both for replying by the way

Im tot confused to be honest! I keep thinking it would be easier the longer i leave it but maybe im tot wrong and my dh is right and the sooner would be better for us all im so looking forward to my new child but i really want to be a good mother/the best mother i can be to everyone

poohbearsmom I think any age gap will work if you've thought about it. I have 18 months between ds1 and 2. It's great. I have nearly 3 years between ds2 and dd. It's great.

I have a friend with 8 years between her 2 dc and she thinks that's great.

There are pros and cons to each, and at different stages the benefits become more obvious. For example, while it was easier practically to have a 3 year old with a tiny baby, I was also having to take the eldest to school each day which meant getting everyone up and out of the house. If I had had my third with a smaller gap then I would have had 3 pre-schoolers which would have meant no morning/pick up time stress. But I would have had 3 children at home all day every day.

Now my ds's play really well together and are into the same things. My dd is clearly a bit left out as she's that much younger. But I'm sure in a few years it won't matter. I also have much more time for her as the boys are at school all day.

I think you just have to go with what you and your dh think is about right, and take the plunge (ooh).

Thanks kitkat you talk alot of sence i know your right there will always be pro's and con's too... Just have to make the decision weather it would be better for everyone sooner or later...