8 yr old, getting moody and easily upset

[GavinBl]

Hi
We've moved house in the last 4-5 months, and my 8 year old daughter who was very against the idea - has become very moody and easily upset,

She does quite enjoy school, but used to love it - and now doesn't look forward to it. She seems unable to let go of our life in another part of the UK, almost like a form of grief. We expected some difficulty when we moved but not for this long.

She gets upset very easily, and frequently seeks to blame herself for the most minor things that go wrong, or if drawings etc aren't perfect. On a couple of occasions, she has come out with stuff like "I'm so stupid", "I should be dead" etc.

This isn't all the time, but it seems to suddenly descend like a cloud. At times she seems to be trying to annoy us with moods.

I know that tiredness is a factor because it tends to happen just before bed, but I don't want to write it off as 'just tired' - although its a real part of it.

I have read about children of this age becoming moody (as opposed to the classic teen thing), as they start to think about life beyond their immediate environment - something that comes at 8-9, and disappears again for a year or so at 9-10ish as they deal with it.

I had mentioned to her teacher before that she does get upset - and they say she seems fine in class. I'm going to speak to them again next week, but I would be interested to hear from parents of kids this age who have any experiences or knowledge on this type of thing.

thanks
Gav

I'm not an expert but I'd consider some counseling for her, if it was me, a safe place with a qualified professional, where she can talk in confidence about these feelings and work through them. She can say exactly what she feels without condemnation and get good advice. I think it may really help her deal with this situation and what is in her head.

I suppose there are probably things you can do as well, but I really wouldn't know what to suggest there. I'm sure another mums netter will be along soon. Otherwise bump it again tonight, once the LO are in bed.

Good luck

she does sound fairly normal to me.

try to acknowledge her feelings without immediately reassuring.

dd is always telling me today is the worst day of her life and everything is all her fault. Just let her get it all off her chest.

don't worry, she'll be fine.

I moved house when i was 9 and hated it for at least a year! It was the right move for the family and for me long term but at the time it was rubbish - people were friendly but they weren't my old friends etc it took ages to settle in. I don't remember even telling my parents about it - not sure why just didnt think it would help

Perhaps it will just take time - can she have her old mates to visit?

My 9 year old DS1 has always been emotional, and he has actually learnt to control his moods (or the expression of them at least) in the last year or so.

I don't have any experience of moving (or DDs for that matter), but I wanted to respond because he also has said some quite shocking things like - "I wish I was dead", which do tend to worry me at the time, but I don't see as a sign of any real disturbance, as baskingseals says.

My DS1 has been having some friendship troubles, and a bit of bullying at school, and has been able to have regular chats with a TA they have at his school who does work on children's social and emotional problems.

I wonder if there is anyone like that at your DDs school ?

DS1 has also become more aware of the outside world, and issues such as death and loss in the last year or so, as you say. For instance - he sometimes can't get to sleep because he is thinking about us dying.