DD told me she doesn't like nursery because two little boys hurt her

[miffyears]

She's nearly 2.6 and goes to nursery 3 days a week when DH and I are at work.

Recently she's been crying and clinging to me at dropping off time.

She hasn't really ever done this before, in fact she's usually happy to go.

I asked her today whether she liked nursery. She said no it makes her feel sad. I asked her why, and she said "because (names of two little boys) hurt me". She says they hurt her face and fingers.

The staff haven't mentioned anything like this happening. But I have seen one of the little boys mentioned biting another boy at dropping off time, and the staff missed it (I had to tell them what happened).

I know that they're only young and so biting / hitting is inevitable at this age, and this is in no way a criticism of the boys. It's not a criticism of the staff either as I know they can't watch all the children 100% of the time.

But I'm worried about DD. And I hate to think that she's there for 3 days and unhappy.

What should I do? What can I say to DD to make things feel better for her? Should I speak to staff at nursery, and mention what DD has told me?

Speak to them, I know it's impossible for them to watch the little darlings all the time, these boys sound like little horrors though so they should be watched more. Your poor dd

How can I speak to the nursery without 'blaming' these two boys though? They are only 2....

Tell them that dd is reluctant to attend and when you pressed her as to why she said exactly what you told us. Tell the manager you are concerned because dd has become tearful and clingy. They surely must be used to this.

Then take your cue from them about how seriously they are going to take it. Mine would be concerned, investigate, give dd lots of tlc and monitor the two boys and dd's interaction very closely.

Oh forgot to add when ds was being bitten we also told him exactly what to do/say...i.e Very loudly say, "No, XX don't bite. Biting is nasty" and then tell a grown up straight away.

just tell them exactly what she told you.
and just ask them to keep an eye out for her.
It's probably nothing, but it's so sad when they are upset like that, bless her.x

At DD's nursery the children are all taught to say "NO!" and hold their hands up in a "stop" motion if they are being hurt by another child or see it happening to someone else. They are then told to tell an adult (or, I imagine/ hope, normally one notices when they see them gesturing).

DD is only 2.1 and has got the hang of it well. I was quite surprised by this TBH, but it is a good nursery policy and I have seen it in action.

So as well as talking to DD about doing this (like Heated suggests) you could ask nursery what their policy is/ how they encourage good behaviour.

I have to add that DD has been pushed over by particular kids quite hard and then become good pals with them and told me she likes them, so don't feel like you are blaming these two boys as they might be delightful most of the time!

Thanks for your advice everyone I'm definitely going to talk to the nursery about it next week.

I've already told her to tell her keyworker or other member of staff if it happens again, but will also tell her to shout "No" etc as you have suggested.