Children being allowed to be children....

[BITCAT]

Im i the only one who feels that children are being forced to grow up too quickly?
My kids school doesnt allow them to go out and play when it snows, and then complain that the children are being difficult, they havent been allowed to burn off excess energy. When i was at school we were not stopped from going out in the snow to play, we even had occassions when the teachers would come out and play too. I also feel that there are too many tests, and too much homework for young children, far too much pressure..cant they just be children.

At DD's school they do get to play in the snow, but it is restricted where they can go, as some parts of the playground are treacherous if icy. They can only got out if they have gloves, etc with them though.

Only time they couldn't go out was the day 2-3 weeks ago where everywhere was covered in black ice - teachers had laid ou carpet tiles from gate to doors just to get the girls in to school safely.

Of course they have to have saftey in mind but they claim health and safety every time..and my reaction was simple ok..they cant play out cause it aint safe..my street was like an ice rink..but we are still expected to walk the 20mins it take to get to school in the same snow and ice..my 11yo already broken his wrist outside when he went out in the snow, but you cant keep keeping them in just incase. I mean i could get knocked over by a bus, or murdered anywhere..should i never go anywhere just incase..health and safety lol

I know what you mean, but I am on the other side of it. We live in Switzerland and have about 30cm of snow at the moment in DD's school. They have to go out whether they want to or not. IMO, they aren't supervised properly, for example, snow is not to be thrown. She came home on Monday with the beginnings of a black eye from a snow ball. She knows who threw it but couldn't find a teacher to tell. GRRRRR. I don't want to be complainy mum but that is increasingly my role.

my dd was allowed to play in the sow in january - when she was at school. the headmaster also came out and played in the snow with the dc.

This was done in the last hour at school so they could then go home wet and get dry instead o sitting in wet clothes after lunch playing in the snow.

I think children are keep as children for far to long and was talking about this at work, both of us were at work at 16 and earning - not still at school being children

16 year olds today don't know they are born at college or school whereas 40 years ago you left school at 15 and got a job and gave your ma keep for living.

But would you really want your 16y these days to not have the choice to stay on at school and college to get better qualifications and ultimately, all being well, to get better jobs and increase their standards of living?

My dad had to leave school at 15y to get a job to contribute to famly life. He made sure his own family didn't have to.

If kids are allowed out to play in the snow, you get people moaning about them getting hurt.

Keep them in, they are being molly-coddled.

They are only at school from 9 till 3. Outwith those hours you d owhat you think is best. And stop moaning!

As for kids not knowing they are born, it was ever thus. My parents said that in many ways it was easier for them in that there were jobs to walk into.

I think childrengrow up to slowly and that is why we have a lot of problems with teenagers - whether they stay at school or get a job is ine if thats where they should be. there is no point in doing education for the sake of it.

I know plenty of 6formers that will leave school in June and not go to uni and go and get a job...

if you are are going to study for a purpose then fine.

But this thread is about children growing up to fast - and i don't agree I think we wrap dc up in cotton wool far to often and not let them get on with things, to their detriment aswell in some cases

In the early 80's there were over 3million unemployed and /very few/no jobs - it would depend on when you were leaving school

As with everything, there is a balance to be struck with this issue.

I have similar experience to Kreecher (except in Belgium). Only a modest awareness of health and safety issues here. A couple of years ago, a 3.5 yr old child died in a school playground because their head had got caught in a climbing frame that had been constructed by parents and therefore did not confirm to the correct safety standards.

I think things have gone a bit too far in the other direction in the UK though, banning conkers for example. There's not much fun to be had without taking a certain amount of (calculated & reasonable) risk.

Banning conkers in the uk? I had no idea they had been banned - sorry but we live in the uk and collect conkers in the autumn, since when has this been banned?

They were banned from playgrounds I think IvyKaty. Though maybe that was down to each school rather than a blanket ban. I agree with your point that kids grow up too slowly. The cotton wool wrapping really gets on my nerves. Only this morning I had a fellow mum trying to convince me to join her in complaining about a cake sale the school is doing for Haiti. She thinks children shouldn't know about such things. Daftly protective I think.
fwiw OP our kids got to play out in the snow at school.

here IvyKaty

that was 10 years ago... i think things may have changed now this was a survey of 1000 schools where three schools had banned football and one school had banned concers being used on string, one head master wanted to ban all playing but didn't and Miss Thomas did the survey in three counies. not a comprehensive report by the bbc

Agree that there is a wierd imbalance nowadays. We molly-coddle children and don't let them grow up and at the same time, they are exposed to very "adult" social pressures and mores ...

On reflection I think the biggest contributors to this problem are:

rise in traffic/lack of open spaces & parks which make it difficult for dc to play out unsupervised

an ever-present/fear-mongering media that hype up stories about stranger-danger that do not correspond to statistical facts

also - to a degree - affluence ie dc are ferried to organised classes instead of having to make do with a piece of string, a twig and an old dustbin lid for fun ...and they are constantly exposed to rampant commercialism and marketing

fair enough IvyKate - just the first example that came to mind

I think though stillcounting we are sucked in by the press, we hear that schools have banned football cos its dangerous - no it si a story for a jorno and it is infact one school in the whole of the uk.

I think the press hype up health and saftey out of all proportion, most head teachers are really sensible and care about balance and dc.

the press just want wow silly stories and we all of us get sucked in. because they ares illy and weird though - we remember them....

Kreecher - I daresay the children in Switzerland are dressed for it too! In DS's school they had to stop kids going out because of the ridiculous footwear the children (esp girls who must wear fashonable, flimsy sequinned shoes at all times) wore to school in the snow - having been dropped off by car, of course.

Things that bother me:
Media images and messages that sexualise everything, and hype of fame and material wealth, openly encouraging children to try to dress and act like adults. Adults who encourage that. DD (8yo, in Brownies) has been invited to a fashion show by local Guides group; she was asked to dress glamourously. What is an 8yo doing trying to look "glamourous"??

Movies and stories that depict children thinking and acting like mini-adults (arrrgggghhh).

... and yet, simultaneously, a culture of ridiculous infantilising. Like people who (only on MN) who insist that their DC will never go anywhere alone before the age of 13. Or that it's unsafe to let any 8yo child stay home alone for 15 minutes.

Also asking teens to stay on at school until 17 feels to me like a mistake, some teens just need to get out working at this age in order to grow up.

what i find really odd, is that a person of 16 years can marry and have a child, get divorced but - they can not leave full time education or watch an x rated film or drive a car.

cant agree more cantsupinate..i read something on the internet about being too over protective of children..it can do more harm..we are instilling our irrational fears of stramge danger in our kids...so they fall over in the snow or they get a bit wet, its not the ened of the world. My son has fell outa a tree and still climbs them..i wouldnt try and stop him..u have to let them take risks..calculated ones by parents not the kids but i do think we molly coddle the kids too much. Ivykaty your so right about these silly laws of ours, they cant smoke or drink till 18, but at 16 they can have sex but they cant watch a movie or have a drink..doesnt make sense to me

dc school allows playing snow (they even had a lunchtime organised snowball fight including teachers), a conker tournament, trees to climb, unfenced lake and woodland... the kids know the rules and rarely disobey. It is about learning risk and responsibility.

LIZS i agree with you.