Toddler sleep issues...help needed!

[TinkyTaylor]

I am at the end of my tether with my DD (2.5), who for the last few weeks has been repeatedly waking during the night, she goes down fine but it does not take long before she wakes and this continues throughout the night. Last night was probably the worst we've had yet as she was waking every hour, sometimes less till about 4 am when I eventually fell into bed crying in despair. It can be anything from losing her comforter, needing a wee wee, light on... light off and it just takes so long to settle her. We have always had sleep issues on and off with DD but the older she's got they seem to be getting worse (as her language and manipulation skills develop!) I have tried controlled crying but this is very hard to do as we have a 4 month old DS to consider and he was continually woken by this hence more trouble for me... please tell me that it will eventually get better? Just a phase etc! Has anyone out there had these problems or is having them right now.. am I alone in the fact that sometimes I feel almost a fear at going to bed as I know I'll be woken soon enough.

I don't have any answers really, but you're not alone. My ds has never been a good sleeper - I can't believe at 2.1 that he's still hardly ever slept through the night!

What do you do when she wakes?

With ds, eventually we put a mattress by his cot mattress, and when he wakes I go into him, lie next to him, pat him and kiss him, and then let him settle himself. I don't leave him, but found that if I stayed patting him it seemed to wake him up more. This kind of helped us. It sounds as if your daughter is enjoying the attention she gets through her frequent wakings. Also, not v helpful, but I do remember that dd's sleep was disturbed when ds was born - do you think the arrival of your ds has affected her sleep?

u poor thing..it is hard but sounds like she may b just seeking to push the boundaries..n maybe her way of getting your attention..this sometimes happens wen a new baby comes along..u unfortunately have 2 b strong n pretty tough.. put them bk 2 bed..n keep doing it..eventually they will get 2 realise that..it isnt working n will stop doing it. i had this with dd1 n ds2..

i am going through this with ds (3.5) He was always an excellent sleeper but at 3 yr we got rid of his dummy and he went downhill from then. Won't go to sleep on his own, i have to sit on a chair otherwise he repeatedly gets up and we can't have him disturbing dd who shares his room. He started waking up between 1 and 3 times a night and used to come into our bed but noone gets any sleep if he does that as he kicks! Now i take him back but still have to sit on the chair in the night otherwise he screams the house down! Not sure if he gets nightmares or it is attention. Personally i think it's attention as when he slept over at MIL's, he slept though the night and went down on his own. He seems to enjoy the attention from me, if he knows i'm not there he doesn't do it. Not sure what to suggest but i am hoping that my ds will grow out of it.

Thanks all, am reading this in the morning after another awful night. I will just keep up with the putting her repeatedly back to bed and just hope that she'll grow out of it soon. It's so hard isn't it and when people say to you just let her cry, well that's really hard to do at some ridiculous hour, as it wakes all the neighbours not to mention the little one too.

Well you cant just let them cry, maybe for short period, just so your not running to them everytime they cry. But i understand completely as i had my hv tell me to just let them cry..very hard when u have two children in the same room and then the other child is woken up, then you have two children crying..and that isnt going to do anyone any good. They will grow out of it eventually i have 4 and they all sleep through very well now.

I have the same prob. DD 2.5yrs wont go to bed unless I hold her hand until she is asleep. She gets up in the night and comes into our bed and keeps us awake with her wriggling. I want to get it sorted but dont know where to start. She too shares a room with my DS 10 months and so cant leave her to cry as he will wake up although i know that this is the answer that most people will give. She was like this when DS was first born so I know it is all about attention. This time it is all about the fact that I have gone back to work after maternity leave. The last time we did manage to deal with it with controlled crying but then DS was in our room and she was in a cot so couldnt get out. We have tried stickers and rewards but it doesnt work. I so sit with her at bedtime but am usually too tired to sit there in the night too but i guess I will have to try. It will help to know that I am not the only parent sat up doing it!!!!

Posting with sympathy here too. DD (2.2) goes to bed with no problems but is up normally three times needing a wee or just wants to come into our bed.

Also have DS 3 months so we can't work out if this is a potty training problem (needing a wee bit) or new sibling problem, or just being a two year old problem. If she came into our bed and conked out again that would be fine but she just wriggles and kicks and won't settle so we end up having to put her back to bed and then trying to settle her for ages.

We can't really let DD cry either due to DS and also have lodgers who would not be amused.

Am just clinging to the hope that it is a phase that will pass soon but will be watching this thread for any tips.

My DD (3.5) was always a great sleeper until she hit about 2.5yo. It was a long slog to get it sorted (a good few months) and even now we have to remain very consistent otherwise it starts again.

We have to ensure that we do not engage her in conversation AT ALL, we just kept putting her back to bed again and again and again, whilst telling her that it was nightime/sleeptime. We found that any 'cave-in' from us led to countless more problems. For example she started getting up at about 5am, so we let her into bed with us. Then 5am turned into 4.30am, then 4am, and then within days she was getting up as soon as we went to bed, ready to get into our bed.

Stay strong, its not necessarily about leaving her cry for hours. Be consistent and don't go for the easy options as it just prolongs the inevitable. However, saying that we have had great success with this glo clock sleep trainer. DD now very rarely gets up before the 'sun' comes out, and if she does we just say that the moon is still on the clock and she must go back to bed - and she does! I'm sure it won't work for everyone but I've been amazed how well it has worked for us!