Is 3 any harder than 2???

[joe999]

I have 2 DC, A DS (7) and DD (5). Another thread on here got me thinking about what it might be like to have a 3rd and I just wondered if other parents out there, who have 3 or more could share their experience of the move from 2 to 3.

How did you cope, some have said its no more work than 2 - what do you think?

How did the older children react? I know my DD would love a sister or brother, but not sure about my DS.

I'd appreciate hearing your experiences.

No, easier IMO!

I can't tell you how your children will react! Mine love being in a big family but really relish any time they get to spend with me or DH alone.

I read the thread title as is AGE 3 harder than AGE 2

To which I would have answered with a resounding YES!

However, will let you know in 6m time - am pg with DC3

I love 3 and found it surprisingly, wonderfully straightforward. No. 3 babies have to fit into the world of sch runs etc and they just seem to do it. All of my friends seem to have v chilled no 3s.

The only stress factors for me were;

We had to get a bigger car as my older dc were still in proper car seats and we couldn't fit 3 in.

Holidays are designed around families of 4.

They are now 5,6 and 2 and our world is full of noise, laughter, lost shoes, other peoples children, squabbles, kisses and fun! I love it!

Interesting thread. I fell asleep this afternoon, am 6 months pg with DC3 and woke up suddenly in a panic about how I am going to cope with getting DD1 ready for school, DS ready to go to the CM and DD2 ready to fit in with it all!

DD1 is just 6, so will be about 6 and a half when DD2 arrives. We have daily battles about getting dressed in the mornings so I am a leetle bit concerned about how we are going to cope with it all!

Having said that, I found it surprisingly easy going from 1 to 2 so am hoping that 2 to 3 will be a similar experience!

Does 3 DC constitute having a 'larger' family then? I always wanted one of those until I actually had DCs

I've got four, secret - that constitutes a larger family I think

It depends..... Now that DS is nearly 10 months, no I don't think i find having 3 any harder than having 2, and I'd say that was the case after about the first 6 months. It's more fun and my DDs (now almost 5 and almost 3) are great at entertaining DS and playing with him and are also good at entertaining each other, so I never really had the issues I had when DD2 was born and DD1 was left bored and jealous when I needed to deal with DD2.

However, I found the first 3 months after DS was born harder than anything I had ever imagined possible - way harder than the transition from 1 to 2. With the age of your two DCs though, you wouldn't have the issues I did as they are presumably at school so you wouldn't have the relentless grind of two pre-schoolers at home with you at the same time as dealing with the newborn exhaustion and sleepless nights (that's what did me in anyway), so you might find the transition a bit easier?

If I'm honest I'd have to say that yes, I have found 3 a lot harder than 2.

I find it a real struggle somedays.

I didn't find it much harder when the youngest was little (she's now 2.5), however, now, I find it much more difficult.
They all pull me in different directions and have such different needs. The pace of our life is much faster and the house is much much noisier, in fact when one is missing I feel like I've gone deaf!

On the flip side, they are three times the fun, three times the joy and three times the love - I wouldn't change it for the world!

Convinced deluded myself into believing that with ds at school and dd just starting in Sept that having nb no 3 will be a piece of cake.

Be prepared for threads from me eating my words!

Thank you all for your responses, very helpful.

I did find it hard when DD was born, mainly because DS was only 2 and so looking after a toddler, newborn and at the time I went back to work full time at 6 months, its no wonder I found it hard!! I was also studying for my professional qualification - I must have been mad {smile}

I was wondering whether having DS and DD well settled into school would make it easier next time round? Also my DH and I both now work for ourselves, from home and can be quite flexible.

It's strange because after having DS and DD I thought our family was complete and would never even contemplated having any more and yet here I am seriously considering DC3.

The hardest thing that I find is splitting your time equally between 3, as an earlier poster said they have such different needs; I have 3 DDs, 9,6 and nearly 2, so one minute I might be helping to make a ww2 bunker out of a shoebox for homework ,the next listening to my bookworm 6 year old reading AT me as she follows me around the house, and then doing a peg jigsaw with the youngest, whilst all the time feeling guilty that the others dont have my attention when they need it. I must admit that there are days when i find myself wistfully thinking how easy life would be if we had stopped at 2, but then I look at my little sausage and am overwhelmed with love for her. Good luck OP in whatever you decide to do.

So all my friends with 3 DCs tell me

easier in some ways but not in others.
ds1 is 5, dd is 4 and ds2 is 2. i think that because they are close in age, when ds2 was first born it was very hard. two in nappies is hard going, ds1 still didnt want to walk everywhere, so was pretty much stuck in the house unless dp was home and trying to get outta the door in the morning... Eh, no! Me and ds1 were also very ill in the first few weeks, not a great combination really.

Having said that, ds1 and dd were quite happy playing together, and whenever it got too much we got the big bean bag and the duvet out and all got in. and they always wanted to help-fetching nappies, or taking things through to the kitchen for me, trying to feed ds2 and even entertaining him. and in the end, you become quite efficient at getting out the door!

Yes it is harder. Coping with a newborn is easier as you are so much more experienced but juggling the needs of three children is harder than juggling the needs of two.

I have much smaller age gaps than you would have though so maybe that makes a difference but probably brings its own issues.

Joe

I did find it hard but mine were 2yrs and 1yrs when dd3 was born. I had all 3 in nappies and i felt i was breaking down most of the time! (partly because DP was ill and i was doing the all the work in rgds to the children)
But your in a good position as you DC are 7 and 5. They can help you during the day (which involves them in minding baby) and your DC dont need your constent attention. EG: they wont go smearing the sudocream in the carpet if you have forgotten to put it back on the shelf.
You also have to consider a bigger car! Once your family is in, no room for other passengers.
Do you have the room for MORE toys!! lol i dont but there still coming!
3 is great now i do see and find it getting a little easier.

Age gap makes a difference, I think 3 under 5 would be a lot harder than if you had another one now.

We have our DD (3 months old) with DSs aged 4 and 6. It is not as bad as I was expecting tbh! However, DD has been very easy baby so that helps.

The hardest times are the evenings - trying to organise the boys dinner, bath and bedtime while sorting the baby out when she is a bit overtired and ratty. If DH is not around it is tough. But that kind of thing will get easier with time.

You learn to plan everything in advance to make life easier.

I absolutely love having 3

You manage. You find your own way like with every number of children.

I've got three. Ds (4.5), dd (2.5), ds2 (12 wks).

I don't find it harder. Ds1 at school every day all day. DD goes to nursery 3x sessions per week and ds2 is a baby so doesn't do much yet. I'll report back in a year when he's scrambling about and let you know. The older two play happily together an awful lot and they dote on ds2 to the point of suffocation.

When it come to stuff like having only two hands and crossing roads, I ask dd to hold my hand, ds1 to 'help' me carry ds2's car seat and we all trot across safely so having only two hands doesn't seem to be a problem. I have instilled a fear of crossing roads without looking in ds1 anyway so he's very cautious.

One thing I do worry about is the amount of time ds2 spends in his car seat as I ferry the other two back and forth from school and nursery and various other events! I've a suspicion he'll start complaining about that soon.

But overall, I'm very happy with three. I'd like four but I'll wait a bit.

Marking my place on this.. Due dc3 in August. The dds will be 2 & 3 in September.

Have heard from people with three dcs in equal measure that either it's sooo much harder than 2 or it's just as easy as having 2. I'm going to listen to the latter

As for the 'larger family' thing- I lived for 10 years in Belgium where a 'famille nombreuse' was 3 or more kids but I don;t know if that's the same here.

"The older two play happily together an awful lot and they dote on ds2 to the point of suffocation."

I know exactly what you mean. My two argue over who sits closest to the baby, and talk to her literally in her face

Mine are 6, 3.5 & 20mths and I found it easy when DS (no. 3) was small but exhausting when he became mobile. There has always been a bit of jealousy between DD2 and DS (20mth between them) and this got worse when he was able to get her things and pull her hair etc. They are now much better and play well together most of the time. He's at that 'challenging' age now but I don't think it's worse for me because I have 3DC. I'm lucky as DD1 is very good with them both and can be very helpful brushing their teeth and getting them dressed which takes the pressure off me a bit.
We had to get a bigger car, hols are pricier, we have no money and the house is always a mess... but it was worth it.
( oh, I have a greyhound too )
If you have good routines and give yourself realistic time to do things- like getting out on the school run, then you minimise the stress.

ha ha ha (hollow laugh emoticon). Yes it's harder - although to be fair moving abroad when dc3 was 16weeks prob. didn't make it any easier...

Dc3 lived up to all the hype and is the easiest, smiliest baby ever, but with dc1(5yo) dc2(3yo) as well it does generally feel pretty much full on ALL the time, and there is an element of guilt about spreading myself too thin, and I do seem to have become quite shouty... but would I change it? Not for the world. My family wasn't complete - it is now.

Yes, and four is harder than three. I don't intend to find out if five is harder than four.

what a great thread! I have DD 3, DS 8mo and i'm thinking about no 3. I think this thread has made me think that it would be great but maybe wait, at least until DD is at school!