Please help...am truly at the end of my tether...DD (20weeks) appears to have had a personality transplant:(

[IBlameThePenguins]

Hi, I've been on MN fr a while, but very rarely post. Things have gotten so desperate, that I thought i'd give it a go. Basically my 2o week old DD has become very cry-ey. For about 5 weeks now, she hasn't slept for more than 2 hours in a row. We have a bedtime routine, bath, story, feed & cuddle etc, but she just seems so unsettled. She has been waking about 5 times every night, she suckles,but is not always hungry. My DP works away long hours, we have no close friends or family that could take her for an hour or two. I havent slept formore than an hour and a half in a row for a long time, & I am truly loosing the plot.

Does anyone have any advice/ words of support? TIA

hello - sorry can't advise re: personality transplant - although maybe worth having a think about whether anything has changed ie starting weaning/change in your diet if bf - could be an allergy or something?

Or maybe worth seeing a cranial osteopath? What was your delivery like?

Finally, have you heard of Home-Start - they are really good at supporting people if they feel a bit isolated or need some extra help to get through things. See if there is one local to you and give them a call.

Thanks Deloola.

Two points have really made me think. I have started a healthy eating diet to try and loose my baby weight...it wasnt terrible before but have increased protein & veg & cut out fatty/ sugary snacks.She is EBF.

Also, we had quite a tough time in the delivery room. She became very distressed... her heart rate slowedright down , and to cut a v.long story short, ended in ventouse. She was always a good sleeper as a newborn - do you think reprecussions could take this long to surface?

We spend a lot of time at our local childrens center. I have booked an apt with the HV to discuss support etc. Thanks for your response.

x

If she was a ventuouse delivery then it could be possible that she could benefit from some cranial osteopathy - I don't know about timeframes but worth looking into or starting another thread about it.

Excellent - glad you are accessing children's centres - ask your HV for a referral to Home-Start (they are different to childrens centres)

What's her daytime sleep like? Sometimes if they don't get enough sleep during the day it can mess up their night time sleeping and also make them very unsettled.

What exactly is her sleeping like during the night. When do you put her down? When do you go to bed? It should be the same time at this age because the longest period of sleep is always the first period.

Hi, thanks for your replies. I have also posted this on the sleep topic, and the subject of daytime naps has come up there too. She is a very alert, lively child - this is something people have commented on ever since she was really tiny. I've always struggked to get her to nap consistently in the day.

Last night was fairly typical. We started the bedtime routine just before 7.30..Bath with Daddy, then massage, jimjams on, followed by feed & story with me. She went down awake just before 8, and I "ssshhhh-ed" & rocked her crib - she couldnt see me. Then she was asleep just after 8. She woke up just after midnight, had a feed, but just could not settle afterwards.

Everytime she was put down, she would really SCREAM...even if she seemed to have been sleeping at the time. She worked herself into such a frenzy, that she was really difficult to console- we were both in tears. She didnt go back to sleep 'til 2. 30, and then she was wide awake agin by 6.

I normally go to bed att 10.30-ish, as I feel like I need to wash up/tidy etc wen she is down, or the place would be in an even worse state tha it is now!

Sorry, this is long - i am really grateful for the advice, and don't want to miss anything out!

deloola I have googled homestart...lokks like a fab resource. I will definately ask my HV.

Instead of putting her down, why don't you feed her again. If you put a muslin under her you can feed her to sleep and move her with the prewarmed muslin to her cot.

OR, cosleep and let her feed on and off.

Aw Penguins, that sounds really stressful.

On the naps thing: when my DS was a similar age he used to wake about 20-25mins after going off for a nap. He was also very alert and full of energy, but he was also really grumpy and miserable much of the day and it was probably due to lack of sleep. I tried quite hard to get him to take longer naps. Basically, I knew from previous experience when he was likely to wake so I anticipated it, and was poised ready to leap into action the moment he woke, at which point I did something sleep-inducing to get him back to sleep. (In his case the best option was to walk him the buggy but you can use whatever method works best; sounds like shh-ing and patting might work for you.) It didn't always work but when it did, he was a much happier baby. And then he outgrew that stage and slept better of his own accord anyway... from talking to friends it does seem like quite a few babies have a stage like this around the 4 month mark and it does pass.

Coping with nights - is co-sleeping something you would consider? It isn't for everyone but if you are comfortable with it, it can earn you a bit of extra sleep. At least making sure she is sleeping near you so you can respond quickly (which might mean she settles better). Are you putting her down awake or asleep? If the latter, you might just need to wait a little longer before putting her down as she might not yet be in deep enough sleep.

You say you feel you need to tidy when she is asleep - can you do that stuff when she's awake so you can get some rest when she is asleep, or is she un-put-downable? If it takes dancing around the living room pulling silly faces to entertain her as she sits in her bouncy chair while you tidy up, well, it might be a good trade off for an early night?

Hang in there, sounds like you're doing a really good job - it's not easy with no family support.

Is she teething?

Thanks for your reassuring words itnever DD is the same. She might nap for 15 minutes then she is wide awake.I will definately try being there ready- a good walk often sends her off!

I've always been a bit of a wimp RE: co-sleeping...I get so scared that I'llroll on her or something, but you're right about the tidying - I don't know why I didn't think of that I think that sometimes I feelas though I have to be doing something with her allthe time...massaging/entertaining/ reading etc!

I don't think she is teething saggy

Thanks again for taking the time to reply! Am so grateful!

my ds had teething pains from 6 weeks old you could get some dentinox this can be applied every 20 mins if some discomfort

also have you checked her tongue is it all white and furry rule out thrush of the mouth although i would suspect this would affect in day not just night

raise head of mattress maybe bit snuffly this will open air waves and help settle better my ds used to scare himself if breath used to catch so this helped a lot

again i would say try a dummy my ds really needing that he was very suckly baby and settled much better could she belly achey wind her after every ounce and leave propped up on you for 10 mins after feed to let milk settle down ds used to be very belly achey at night the raised mattress helped for this too

but i would never talk to him when feeding or in the 10 mins holding after i would then wrap him and lay him back down