Do you plan things to do with your 4 year old?

[fruitstick]

I have 2 DSs, nearly 4 and 12 months.

I feel that life has been a bit of a whirlwind since DS2 was born and I never seem to have time to do anything. Before DS2 was born I worked 3 days a week and we had a cleaner. I used to do loads of activities and things ith DS1 on my days off. Now I only work 1.5 days a week and we don't have a cleaner and I seem to spend my entire time trying to keep on top of the housework (which still looks like a tip)

I really want to spend quality time with them but I never seem to be organised enough. Poor DS2 just follows me around while DS1 is at nursery but seems happy enough emptying my cupboards.

But DS1 needs more attention. So my question is, do you plan things to do with your children at home. I find that by the time I've located the paper, pens, play doh or whatever, he's lost interest and wants to do something else, then I'm left to put it all away again. I always look so envious when friends have been doing great crafts or making bread etc with their DCs. How do they manage it!?!

What do you do with yours?

It's a bugger - frankly! I went back to work when DD was 18 weeks, 3 days a week and as far as I was concerned, the 4 days I had were about her 1st and housework and everything else 2nd.
I was made redundant when she was 4.10, so took 18 months out to be with her at home before she started school. I then got a job just before Christmas and have spent the last 6 weeks either working, nagging DD about tidying up or telling her I can't play with her cos I've got to tidy up and we've both been thoroughly miserable.
So for the last week, I've just gone with the flow and done what she wants when she gets in from school and we're both much happier and more chilled out.
I'm sure DH will start complaining about the state of the house soon, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. So long as it's clean the tidying up will have to wait!
As for planning activities, I find that harder as she gets older, partly because what I plan isn't necessarily what she wants to do, and also because I find it quite hard not to interfere so she gets things 'right' rather than just enjoys the experience and does it her way.

Will be watching this thread to see if anyone else has any good suggestions!

I get us out of teh house at least daily. we are nicer to each other if we have other people around or are out. It breaks the day up too. even if its just going to the swings.

I get my jobs done THEN we go out, when we get back we have a drink, then hes often happy to play by himself or watch something for a bit till we get back together again for lunch... and so on.

I have a cupboard in teh kitchen with paper, pens glue etc so we can "make" stuff at short niotice, and I will plan making stuff into some days.

I write down to do lists which include stuff to do with DS as well as household tasks.

DS is nearly 4.

womble - you sound just like me! I thought I would love cooking with DS but actually it makes me incredibly stressed!

Uni - adding DS stuff to the to do list would help I think!

Making bread is sometimes fun... but mostly its a a near daily chore that DS avoids...
Occasionally he "helps", slows it all down tho.

I used to have similar problems with my DS. It was fine before his sister started school as they entertained each other, but now we have afternoons free once he is home from playschool, and the weather is crap

I normally get a couple of things out in the morning while he is at playschool, one craft/playdoh/or colouring thing out on dining room table and one play activity, dinosaurs/trains/cars/jigsaws.

he normally gets in has his lunch, then i give hi a choice and we do one activity when he is bored we do the other.

Sometimes he just wants to watch tv and if the weather is good we will go to the park, play in the garden or sometimes go to the shops( he carries his own list, drawn pictures) or library.

He knows there is always something to do and we have fun, but he still is always asking when we can go and get his sister

I feel my DD is more left out, but at 5 she directs her own activities, I will often find while I am doing the dinner she has got the playdoh/ paints out and her and DS are sat happily amusing themselves.

All art/craft stuff is in one cupboard in dining room and very easy to get out, and I have found this makes it easier

so do you set the activities out for him before he gets home? rather than ask him what he wants to do when he gets in?

I think this maybe where I'm going wrong. By the time he's decided and I've built the bloody train set/set up the farm etc it's all gone wrong!

Yes I set it up before he gets home, then he gets to choose from what is out - occasionally he wants to do an activity not out, which is fine as there is something else for him to do while I get it sorted.

I started to do this because playschool always have the activities set out and he loves it, the choosing what to do, without having to actually remember what the choices would be if not visable IYKWIM

If you're doing major craft or cooking you definitely need to forward plan.

I'm really into art and started doing that sort of thing with DD when she was about 2.6, and discovered that you need to do quite a bit of prep for all but the simplest activities.

With cooking you just have to know their limitations. It's easier to bake/buy some plain biscuits or fairy cakes and just let them do the decorating. Pizza's are quite straightforward - lay all the toppings out and let them load them up, and DD is always happy to let me get on with making a pie for dinner providing I let her cut some shapes out of the leftover pastry to stick on the top and brush with egg before it goes in the oven.

I've gone through phases where I've been constantly promising to do things with her, but by the time lunch is over and cleared up, she'll get distracted. Then she'll realise she still wants to do whatever it was and by then it's too near dinner time and we end up having tantrums.

I'm getting the hang of it a bit more now - but it's taken 5 and a half years !

PS - was very taken aback the other week when DD came into the kitchen with a piece of paper bearing the words - 'Daddy is Pooh' - then I realised he had to have the piece of pie with the Pooh Bear shaped pastry cut out on!!!!

DD is 4. She is at school nursery every morning. We do swimming on Monday afternoons, music on Friday afternoons and just do stuff on the other three.

We have to pick up DS at 3:20 so there isn't time for any really big things. Sometimes she watches television, sometimes a friend comes over, sometimes she plays on her own, sometimes we play together, sometimes we go to the library, sometimes we go shopping etc.

She seems quite happy with my lackadaisical system of parenting. Might try setting some things up to do sometimes though.