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Original poster

New baby and older ones childcare

7 replies

mummynumnum · 27/01/2010 18:31

New baby is imminent and dd (3) attends nursery ft and has done since 6mth old. C Section booked for 5th unless baby arrives beforehand. When new baby gets here,would it be better to keep dd to her normal nursery regime or give her some time at home bonding with new baby.

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angel1976 · 27/01/2010 20:51

If you can afford it, I would keep DD in nursery FT till your new baby is about 3 months old... My DS1 was in nursery 4 days FT and we dropped it to 3 days FT when DS1 was a month old. DS2 is now almost 3 months and starting to sleep properly and have a routine of sorts, I wished we had kept DS1's normal routine up till this happens. It's tough with a NB and toddler if you don't have help around you especially if you are having a C section as well. Don't worry too much about bonding at this point of time, the new baby won't be able to do anything... All you will end up doing is shouting at DC1 not to squash DC2 with their over-enthusiastic hugs and kisses! Good luck!

mollythetortoise · 27/01/2010 21:01

i would keep your dd in nursery at least 3 days a week - perhaps not fulltime though IMO

fruitstick · 27/01/2010 21:03

Normal nursery routine would be my vote. I found that it was important for DS1 still to have his own territory - that the baby doesn't invade.

They bond very little with the baby - tend to be quite taken at first but get bored easily and try to entertain them (over enthusiastically).

You will also need some space to bond with the baby adnd have some quiet time.

If you can, I would get someone else (DH maybe) to spend some time with the baby when DD gets home from nursery so the 2 of you also have some time together.

Also (I know you haven't asked for any more advice) - I tried to get a bath/bed routine for the baby but it was disastrous. Worked much better if I just concentrated on DS1. Poor DS2 only had about one bath a week, in the mornings when DS1 was at nursery.

Good luck - it will all be fine

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Ceebee74 · 27/01/2010 21:05

Totally agree that it is best to keep your DD in some kind of childcare (even if you drop it to 3 or 4 days).

I had an elective c-section with DS2 - and it was a godsend having 4 days peace and quiet from DS1 (who was 2.4 at the time) each week whilst I was recovering. He continued with 4 days a week all the time I was on maternity leave and he was absolutely fine with it and I really did enjoy having the 1-2-1 time with DS2 aswell.

lynniep · 27/01/2010 21:06

I agree - keep dd in nursery - it will be a relief for you to only think about one of them. But yes maybe drop a day or two so dd doesnt feel like youre 'getting rid' of her to play with the new baby.
I say that because I think thats how DS1 felt initially and he goes for 2.5 days a week. Conversely, when DD is with you and the baby, she may feel like she gets no attention, and resent baby, so good idea to keep her in nursery some of the time so she's in a familiar environment.

Original poster

mummynumnum · 28/01/2010 06:24

Great. That was my feeling but was feeling bit guilty about it.

OP posts:

angel1976 · 28/01/2010 08:55

I was the same as you! Was originally intending to drop from 4 days to 2 when baby arrives. I posted my dilemma on MN and got the same advice as you and am so glad we didn't drop to 2 days! You won't feel guilty when the baby arrives as survival mode will kick in... Good luck!

And P.S. your DD won't know any different if she has always gone to nursery...

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