How to put awful days behind you?

[roseability]

Just having the day from hell and need a moan!

DS did a poo in his night nappy then smeared it all over himself and the carpets at 7am this morning. He is nearly four and has been potty trained for ages but not at night. He hasn't done a poo in his nappy for months and months.

He then behaved poorly in the supermarket. Hanging on the trolley and demanding things be bought for him.

Just as we were ready to step out the door to playgroup he did a wee all over the floor and his pants/trousers

My DD (7 months) won't breastfeed properly and is waking up at awkward hours i.e. 5.30 am. She goes back to sleep but by the time I am back to sleep my DS is up.

I am afraid my parenting skills (which I think are normally good enough) have gone out the window today. I am shattered and pre menstrual and liable to irrational outbursts

For example at the supermarket, I could not get the car boot to stay open making it impossible (bar some back breaking manouver) to put shopping bags into the boot. In a rage I threw them all onto the backseat floor whilst cursing under my breath. I was spotted by a disturbed looking mum getting into the car next to me (shows you should never judge one snippet of someone's life, I am normally not this crazy) and I have a broken packet of chocolate chip digestives into the bargain

I have shouted and screeched at my DS (and my DD). I told my DS the peeing on the floor incident was 'diabolical'. Thankfully, whilst bright, he does not understand this word. I thought he had hit me in the eye whilst I was changing his trousers and I smacked him on the arm (not hard and he had his coat on but still and ). I told him not to hit me . Actually he was throwing his hat in anger and accidently hit me. I am not a smacker, I just reacted in a split second and feel terrible

I would like to end by saying that my kids are normally a delight and I enjoy looking after them. This is not how I usually parent. How can I rectify today's problems? Make it up to my poor little lad (who is either just under the weather or playing up because of his sister)?

Oh you poor thing! What a day! Something seems to be bothering your lad clearly, but he is too young to express himself properly. We all have bad days, and are less than perfect in our parenting - we are human after all.

I personally believe it is good to apologise to children if we feel we have not acted in the way we should. Give him a big big cuddle. He knows you are a fabby mum, but I think a big cuddle will do you both the world of good.

You are shattered, and he may well be having his sleep disturbed too. Hope peaceful nights soon return

Oh, don't beat yourself up, please, it's just one day! I presume your dd still has an afternoon nap, take this opportunity to have some fun with ds, maybe read to him and have a cuddle as well. Don't make a huge deal out of anything that's happened today, maybe have a little joke with ds about what a grumpy pants you've been, then tell him you love him - this normally works with my dd for whom cross=i don't love her! Then, try and have an early night, and start the day afresh tomorrow.

Simple as that!

I totally sympathise, I've had my share of days like that.

Sometimes I say to DS (4) when we're having a really bad day, 'I'm sorry I got so angry. Shall we start the day over again and have a good day?' and he is usually very keen to do this. I think sometimes they get stuck in a behaving badly rut and don't know how to get out of it and back to happy times themselves.

Sorry you are having such a bad day! Didn't start well did it? But I find just admitting it's not a good day draws a line under it - and makes me wake up a bit to the fact that I am not behaving so well myself!

So I would say now is time for Mummy time out - put the baby to bed for a bit (hoping she naps still?) and put DS in front of TV or DVD and just take 30 mins to yourself - and do something nice. No housework, no clearing up - make a cuppa and eat some chocolate, read a book, stare out of the window - just insist on 30 mins for YOU.

Then go and give DS a cuddle and like Songbird says make a joke about grumpy tired Mummies. Just take it easy for the rest of the day too!

Good luck, hope your day improves - make sure you find something to laugh about and remind DS of that when you put him to bed so he goes to bed remembering the good end of the day!

Great tips thanks!

I am a believer in apologising as well. My DS is at playgroup but unfortunately my DD won't sleep. It is just typical because she usually does a nap. Now tea time will be a nightmare.

I will give DS a hug/apology and make the joke about grumpy mums. I will tuck him up tonight and probably not be long after him! Absolutely shattered

I am totally with you as I'm having a pants day myself. My son is nearly 3 and I'm 3 months pregnant so I'm also making things feel worse by saying to myself that things are only going to get harder and harder....

Roll on tomorrow, or even next week!

I've had a crap day today too and I feel the same as you. I wished I could erase it and start all over again! 12-week-old is the cutest sweetest thing ever but feeds like a goldfish and it stresses me out so much. I always tried to give him that little bit more and today pushed him over the edge and he threw up all over me and himself the whole feed I just spent 45 minutes getting into him... Then 23-month-old DS2 is tired but won't nap, instead chooses to step in the puke... So I shouted at them BOTH! They haven't done anything bad, they are a baby and a toddler. I am the bad one, the bad mummy. I felt so bad afterwards... As I love them both dearly. I apologised to DS1 and gave him a big hug and then cried my eyes out in the bathroom...

Definitely apologise and make up. Dad always 'do as you would be done by' and when you cock up, as we all do when preoccupied and exhausted, you also have the power to make it better. Your children will be irritable and tired too as adults and will do what you have done. You are showing them the situation is not irrecoverable and that you can still love someone to the ends of the world even if you don't always get every moment right. This is massively important too.

Cuddles, sorries and laughs. Its all the messy chaotic love that make families so glorious.