How many after school activities is too many?

[Neenook]

DS1 is just seven and does the following activities in the evenings after school:

Monday - Karate
Tuesday - Football
Wednesday - Beavers
Thursday - Hockey (he wants to got to Gym too which is the hour before)
Friday - Panto rehearsal (just about to finish for the year but runs from October to late January)
Saturday - nothing at the moment
Sunday - swimming lesson

I think this is too much. Apart from anything else every night is such a rush trying to get in from school, get some food into him, complete homework/reading etc and then get him to wherever he needs to be. Poor DS2 (4) gets ferried around from pillar to post as DH is generally at work till 6.30-ish. Also it's getting quite expensive as you can imagine!

However, this is not me being a pushy mother! DS1 seems to want to do everything and DH thinks that if he wants to, we should let him. I agree that sport and social activities are important and am pleased that DS is so keen. I don't want to discourage him but wonder if we should limit what he does.

Does anyone else have the same problem? Does this seem excessive to you and what would you do?

Thank you

Does sound a lot but if he wants to do them, you are happy to take him and he is keeping up with his schoolwork then I don't see the problem.

Ds (yr 1) does karate and music after school at school and then golf, swimming, horse riding and rugby at the weekends. He will start cricket in the summer too (although rugby will have stopped). He will only do any activity so long as it doesn't interfere with homework.

Thanks Mollie

At the moment we are just about keeping up with homework although very disciplined about it - in, change, drink and biscuit, homework/reading at kitchen table. I would just like a couple of evenings where we don't immediately have to dash out again, but am concerned that this might be for purely selfish reasons!

I ponder this often as am in a similar position with dd (9), who seems to want to do everything.
We only have Sundays free, even then she has a 9-10am dance class.

I think as long as he's up for it and it's not effecting any other family members in a negative way, you should carry on.

I agree with other mums, but I find that whilst my DS and DD would do activities every night if I let them, they do need some days off too.

My DS(7) has horseriding and football classes midweek.
DD(5) has horseriding midweek and dance at weekend

We also have a family swim at the weekend.

I find if they do any more than this they tend to become over tired, which starts to create other problems, hence we have limited organised after school activities to give them rest time - and to give us time to spend together as a family.

We have
Monday - ds football
Tusdeay - nothing
Wednesday - ds multisports / dd dancing
Thursday - ds football
Friday - nothing
Saturday - dd swimming
Sunday - ds football

poor dd2 is also ferried from pillar to post

ds 7 , would do more if i let him but we had to cut down partly so dd 1 could start activities and also to free up time so he could ahve friends round , play out etc
I still feel it's a lot now and not sure how we will fit dd2 in!

Haven't included any activities he does at school in that as they change , ds and dd currently do golf on a Friday and ds choir will start again after half term.

I don't think it's selfish to want an evening free after school. Try and drop an activity for a while and see how it goes. He can always pick it up again. Or try and combine two classes on one evening ?

joe 999 This is what I'm debating - whether to say he can do swimming (non-negotiable I'm afraid) and choose maybe 3 others, simply so he has at least a couple of nights after school where he can simply play or watch a bit of TV and wind down. On the other hand, on nights I have tried to 'forget' that he has football etc he has always reminded me and insisted we go.

I don't want to curb his enthusism, but equally don't want him to burn out and I don't think he will ever say "No, I don't want to do that" which is both lovely and concerning at the same time!!

Sorry Lilyloo x-posts.
It is comforting to know you have the same worries iykwim!

Depends on the age and temperament of the child, what the activities are and how far from home they take place.

Personally, I think one or two after school activities is plenty for a primary age child.

My DS wouldn't cope with all the activities you lst. He needs plenty of downtime, as well as family leisure time (playing board games, readig together etc) and early nights!

Well, when I met DCs from school tonight DS1 said he didn't want to go to Beavers tonight - maybe next week. So when we got home I made a list of all that he does and told him to put ticks and crosses by the activities (the more ticks the more he likes the activity and vice versa). To get to the point, he has very independantly and painlessly decided to just do Martial Arts and Hockey for the time being (alongside swimming).

We had a lovely evening tonight, homework/reading done but not rushed, a hot dinner eaten calmly and a family play on the Wii (DS1 had a new game for his birthday).

Thanks for all your advice/opinions - really glad I posted on here

I worry about the effects of over-scheduling on today's children.

My ds is 5 and he goes to multi-skills sports after school on Tues, swimming lesson on Sat morning and sunday school on Sun morning - that's it. We may introduce an instrument at some point in the next year if he's interested.

I feel that children need a few nights a week of downtime. Also they need time to feel bored - from what I have seen it is often when kids are allowed to get bored that they start engaging their imagination best - it is then that my son starts building dens and building amazing towers/ elaborate bridges etc. Also I want him to have time in the week to be able to invite friends for tea / go round to friends for tea.

Also I heard on the radio a while back (so sorry can't remember who said it) that children who are always doing activities when young (ie. are over-scheduled) are statistically more likely to develop addictions when in teenage years/young adults as they are less likely to cope well with feelings of boredom.

I'm all for kids learning new skills outside of school but not to the extent that they have little or no downtime. I am also not going to pretend that I know what the definition of over-scheduling is - I guess we all have our own ideas on that one.

Totally with zozzle,what on earth is the rush to do all possible sports/activities ever invented before you are 10 years old all about?? By all means have a try at a few interests,but more importantly help them choose a couple of sports/interests and teach them to learn the skills and stick to them. I come across too many children nowadays who have no motivation/commitment when it comes to their sportsclubs etc. No time for half an hour of chat with a glass of juice and a bag of crisps after a game as we must dash of to next activity.Surely that is also part of it. To have the chance to make friends and REALLY enjoy what you're doing.We have a WHOLE life to explore whats out there.By the time they are teens they've been there tried it all and never actually learned to entertain themselves on their own or with friends with nothing but each others company. My DH is one of those.Can NOT sit still for a second MUST be on the go all the time.Very determined not to let DC's become like that!!