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Joint birthday parties - buying a present for the 'other child' that you haven't met?

19 replies

MrsTriangle · 25/01/2010 21:23

I am assuming would get one but what kind of thing would be appropriate?
They're 3.

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MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours · 25/01/2010 21:28

I didn't this weekend for a joint 5th birthday party my DD went to. Why would you? The children don't know you and certainly at 3 wont care.

However, if your going to do it, I'd say some crayons and colouring book or something like that.

MrsTriangle · 26/01/2010 20:51

No that's true - I did wonder.

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sugartits · 26/01/2010 20:56

I've had joint parties for two of my dc's who have mostly different friends. There's no way I'd expect a present for each child although I do try to word it in a way that suggests that. Just give a present for the child you know.

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NotAPollyanna · 26/01/2010 20:59

As the others said you are not expected to get for the other child. Noone I know does

MrsTriangle · 26/01/2010 21:54

ah ok. I guess it depends how many have been invited too? My 2 little ones have both been invited - do we take 2 presents or 1?

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mrsseed · 27/01/2010 14:52

My DD had a joint 2nd and 3rd party (with the same kid each time). In order to try and avoid this issue, for people that only knew one child, we didnt tell them it was a joint party (they were in soft play centre so it wasnt noticable until they came to do the cake anyway).
I would never have expected people who didnt know my DD to buy her a present and dont see how anyone could.
Besides - they wouldnt know how to contact you to send a thank-you note!

notevenamousie · 27/01/2010 15:01

I guess two little presents for the child you do know? People won't be counting, honestly, and if they are they aren't worth bothering with (IYSWIM).

squeaver · 27/01/2010 15:03

Don't get a gift. Not necessary at all.

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 27/01/2010 15:06

3 mums had a joint party last year and when I asked about presents I was told if I wanted to buy something, to just buy 1 present for about a fiver and then the presents would be shared out after the party.

Another party my dc was invited too was meant to be a party for 2 siblings so I bought for both. I saw meant as it was cancelled for her as she was naughty. I was the only one to buy for both children.

I would buy a gift for both children but at 3 you don't need to spend much. A book, jigsaw, crayons, etc.

Chillohippi · 27/01/2010 15:14

We had a joint party for DS and a friend for their third birthdays. There were people there that we didn't know, and some people there that the other boy's family didn't know. We didn't expect a gift from the people invited by DS's friend, and vice versa. So no need to worry as it won't be expected at all.

acebaby · 27/01/2010 18:26

DS was invited to a twins' birthday party. The little girl goes to a different school, so we didn't know her. I got both a small present as the invitation came from both of them.

I have a policy of only ever giving token presents to DS1's friends though (no more than £3), so it isn't really an issue.

UniS · 27/01/2010 22:15

I don't think people did this unless they knew both kids, when we hosted joint party a lot of the invitee families knew both inviting families, it was why we had a joint party rather than 2 identical parties 2 weeks apart.

UniS · 27/01/2010 22:17

I've just remembered how we worded invites.. A invites you to A&Bs party or B invites ... or A&B invite you... .

honeyhelen · 23/11/2012 12:11

My daughter and a friend from school share the same birthday the friend is a younger boy. They are having a joint birthday party and are inviting the whole school, only 30 kids. I don't expect or want everyone to buy two presents and I think cards are a waste of time - any suggestions on how to solve this without sounding mean and ungrateful. I think some presents would be nice as the brithday girl and boy would like something to open.

pointythings · 23/11/2012 19:59

Our DDs had a joint party last year and will again this year - they have completely separate friends, it's a swimming pool party with big inflatable thing and it works really well. We definitely had separate presents - DD1 from her friends, ditto DD2. Only one exception, this girl is very close to both so brought a present for both though she is DD1's classmate. We just got her a massive present for her birthday from both of them in return.

mamij · 23/11/2012 20:01

DD has been invited to a joint (6 children!) birthday party. She only knows two of the girls, so we have only bought two presents (both less than £10 each).

mikekay · 19/12/2015 09:27

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waterrat · 20/12/2015 14:01

That is beyond wierd. Why would anyone have a birthday with someone they don't know.

StealthPolarBear · 20/12/2015 14:13

We had one with dd's cousin. I mentioned it on the invitation as o didn't want people

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