reflux - I can't do this again, im a mess.

[whensmydayoff]

I have posted on other peoples threads and asked a bit of advice but now I think I just need to rant.

I have a 6 weeks old DD with reflux.
Everyones symtoms and problems with DC's with reflux vary but mine are the same as it was with DS.

My DS is 2.8 yrs now and had it bad from 2 months to 14 months although medication made 6-14 months very managable probably along with weaning and the fact he could sit from 8 months.

The month and a half before he was properly diagnosed and it was at its worst was rock bottom for me. I realise now it caused PND but not at the time.

The thing is, my DD is 10 times worse than he was and she is only 6 weeks.

It's feeding that makes it hell. It can take 2-3 hours to go through the process. She starts off fine. Stops to get winded, winds ok but then it starts. She is sick, screaming, rigid, fighting to be put back on the breast. Put her on, pains start again, she cant feed but screams to be fed, rooting around for the breast screaming. Im sweating trying to handle her, exhausted and weepy. It takes hours to calm her and even then I have to put the hairdryer on. When it goes off she screams again.

I started crying yesterday and haven't stopped. I am just sobbing constantly. My face is swollen so even though my DH told me to get out for a walk im too embarressed!

My DH has been off since she was born and goes back to work tomorrow.
How am I going to cope? My DS is going to suffer big time and that is making me ill thinking about it too.

Ive since found out the medication for reflux depleats their bodies of calcium and minerals - how can I give her that then?

I have propped her moses basket up. Put her on tummy to sleep which helps a bit. Tried missing out dairy but made no difference so far although she suddenly started getting green mucas poos, I assume from Soy milk?
I dont eat citrus, acid forming foods. To be honest im exhausted trying stuff. I even went to a cranial oesteopath last week and am going this week but I cant see how it will help - it certainly made no difference last week.

I think Im depressed again. I cant muster up the strength to do anything. I cant see the point in anything. My mum has taken DS today and my DH is taking DD out to shops to give me an hour but I know I will just lie on the bed sobbing. Im useless .

you must get meds

things will be unmanageable otherwise

where did you find that out about the meds depleting the body?

reflux is HELL - DS had silent reflux and was bad

within 7 days of the meds he was like a different baby

you aren't useless

it is hideous

please get to your GP

I am no expert on refux meds, BUT i do no a large percentage of info found on google searches on meds I do no about (profesioanly) is wrong and some of it profoundly stupid and scaremongering. Don't forget anybody can posy anything on the internet. IF if if calcium is depleted then I expect you can give suplements. Main thing is to find a solution to his upsetting condition (for both of you). Go and see GP monday morning, explain you've been throught this all before and ask for a referal a gastric/paeds specialist. Best of luck and hugs

3/4 of mine had reflux, dc4 was the worst.

It's awful and impossible without meds.

Go and talk to a GP, call sure start and see if they can give you a little time off even if it's just an hour a week. Can you afford a mother's help? Do not take no for an answer with regards to meds.

Take care of yourself and get some sleep...I coslept with my reflux babies just to get sleep.

TBH, I thought I would throw dc4 at the wall at least twice a day it was so bad.

Seek help, ask for help, any help.

yousintsin did you feel like that even after the meds?

Honestly, yes.... but he got so much better when he was sitting and bf was easier than ff I think. He screamed so much that noone else, like my sister, could bare him either! He's 14 months now and a lovely, if not a bit moany, little boy.

Meds do make it better, not cured though IME.

Not at all useles just very tired which makes you depressed ,very difficult but sleep is what you need.

Both of mine had reflux and it is hellish - I sympathise. You must find a way of getting sleep - even if it means expressing and letting DH deal with baby while you sleep at a friend's/relative's.

You are not useless, just very tired and understandably very frustrated. You are a great mum as it sounds like you are trying everything. Good luck.

See midwife/health visitor/doctor asap - I am more concerned about you than baby.

XX

DS2 had reflux and it has honestly put me off having another baby - I know it must feel so awful to go through it again!

have you got a dummy?

We literally forced DS to take a dummy, put it in his mouth and held it there til he sucked, it helped him before and after feeds, I read somewhere that the saliva helps them digest a bit and of course the sucking helps with the pain.

DS also slept either with me or in his chair (not a bouncy type one, we tried out lots in the shop to find one with a straight-ish back with lots of support so he wasn't slumped over.

We also put him to sleep at 30°, which meant putting 3 pillows under one end of the mattress and strapping him in with a baby carrier!

See a specialist if you can as soon as possible, you will remember that the early days are the worst; Ds was also on meds til 14mths and I bf, by about 5 mths with the meds and then weaning he was loads better.