postive experiences of Bilingual babies

[pastagirl]

hey there
i have a french DH and a DS who is 20months old. We live in scotland and he goes full time to nursery that speaks english all day. DH only speaks french to DS, even when he is out and about. and i Speak english. Before you say it. I do not speak french. no excuse really but never picked it up and after a DS came along there is no time for night classes! DS has 40 or so english words and maybe 15 or so french, mainly nouns. Anyone in a similar situation who now have older children?? what is their language like? is this enough to ensure that he picks up french? any advice? cheers

Hi - I've always spoken to the DCs in my own language. DH doesn't speak it - just English, and they go to an English-speaking nursery. They did say the weirdest things for a while and the sentence constructions we've had have been hilarious; however all the work I've put into it as paid off as they are both now fluent in my language. So yes - it can definitely work, if you persevere with it.

Things that have helped a lot are CDs of children's music, DVDs of favourite TV programmes from my childhood and current ones in my home country; books/being read to in my language and encouraging visitors to always reply in their own language even if my kids address them in English.

I don't think you need to learn French for it to work - my DH will never ever learn my mother tounge - but he's really supportive of the things I do to help them learn. So I'd really try to get in on the French a little bit more if you can, i.e. learn a few songs and show an interest in whatever he is saying/listening to/reading. He'll enjoy it more if you two can share a joy for all things French, even when daddy isn't there.

I'm in the opposite situation, English living in France with a French DH.

So DC have a French childminder, French schooling etc.

From what I've seen, children whose father speaks the "foreign" language seem to speak less well than with a foreign mother.

A lot of fathers I know in this situation didn't make much of an effort to get their DC to speak their language.

Your DH needs to be aware that it WILL seem like an effort at times and it would be good to invest in lots of books in French, DVDs and maybe even satellite TV after a while?

I push English whenever I can, with it being the DCs minor language, so 90% of our books are in English and I always encourage them to watch Cbeebies rather than French tv.

When I read a book in French to the DC I translate it as I go along into English so that I never speak to them in French.

hth

that is good advice cheers, DS watches mainly tchoupi ( which he adores) and listen alot to chantelle goya! we have a lot of french books although DH is not a great reader. but i think you may be right about the mother/ father difference. btu DH does translate everything if he gets given a english book, so hopefully it turns out.
We are here here for the next little bit but hopefully heading to france for a couple of years and that will obviously help. jsut seems like the waste of an oppertuntiy for DS not to really activly pursue it.

did you speak french before you lived there jamaihedors? how have you found it?

Sounds like your DH is doing well.

Try and get him to pursue the reading a bit more, it really helps with their vocabulary because otherwise their vocabulary is limited to everyday words.

I studied French at university so already had a good level before I came here.

I know people who have moved out with NO french but it is very hard, it is hard enough to integrate in France even when you do speak the language tbh.

Could you start speaking French a bit at home? Get your DH to read to both of you

you would think it would be easy huh? undfotunatly i am a very bad rote learner, but i have quite a vocabulary, and can name most everyday things in french and can reproduce some basic phrases but is jsut mimicking really, but will try and have a few months off work before coming and do a full time french course or do that when we first arrive.
I lived with a whole heap of french folk when i first arrived in the UK, and they were lovley but it has made me nervous about moving there, and integrating. Just different ways of making friends, which is by no means a critisim, as it is all the same in the end, just a different process than i grew up with.

We are in a similar situation, pastagirl, about four months ahead of you (second birthday two weeks away.) Her English is strong and she is using complete sentences. Her French is ... getting there. As in, she COULD have a French vocab of about 50 words, maybe more, but I have to prompt almost every single one of them.

So that's what I do. At first it was a case of, if she said, "trousers," I would respond, oui, c'est ca, tu portes ton pantalon, il est bleu, hein?" or even asking her (in french) what colour they were.

Next step was/is to say, "maman dit "trousers", que dit papa?" Then a subtle but, I think, important shift - "on dit "trousers" en anglais, que dit on en francais?" I made this shift because, while she was correctly identifying "francais" as my language (one French sentence she does have is "papa parle francias, maman parle anglais") she was less clear as to whether she was willing to define herself as a French-speaker too.

The next stage, which I'm just starting, is to demand outright, "comment dit-on cela en francais?" or "je ne comprends pas tres bien l'anglais, tu peux m'expliquer en francais?" (I do, of course, understand English, but I don't want her to rely on that.)

The biggest thing, at every stage, has been praising what's right and not dwelling on what's wrong - a sentence like "I like taupe" or "I wearing pantalon" gets praise and "expanding feedback" ("oui, bravo, que tu es intelligente! Elle est marrante, cette taupe, n'est-ce pas?")

just stick at it and don't expect overnight miracles is my advice so far.

Incidentally, I think it's really important to speak the language EVERYWHERE so the child knows it's not shameful or silly, so well done to your husband for that.

My ds isn´t much older, he will be 3 in april, but I speak english to him, dh speaks catalan and the local languages are spanish & catalan. He goes to nursery (catalan) and I am a WOHM. However currently his predominant language is english and I think this is due to the fact that almost all dvds he watch are english, 95% of the (many) books he has are in english and I am the main person who reads to him. I also talk to him a lot more than dh does. I´m just a bit of a chatterbox and tend to keep up more of a running commentary on what we are doing than dh does.

I don´t think you need to worry about learning french to help him, unless of course you want to do it for yourself. My parents lived near us until ds was 2 so I am sure that had a big impact in shaping his early english development but for the last year I am really the only english speaker he spends significant time with. In fact I would caution you against speaking it to him, ds is picking up a well dodgy spanish accent on some english words from dh!! (mummy doooo eeet"

Hi Maveta, interesting to read your story. We live in England and I speak Swedish. My DD is almost 2, she used to be stronger in Swedish but since she has started "toddler room" at nursery 3 days a week she often comes home and talks only in english to herself when playing. Does your DS not do this?

dd is 6 and completely bilingual Italian/English.

Just keep doing what you are doing, maybe reinforcing the French with books/dvds etc.

A bilingual story.....my French colleague (married to an Italian and living in Italy like me) expressed surprise yesterday that my dd is "still" bilingual. Apparently when her daughter started school the school called her in and said the child would be unable to make friends as French was (at the time because Mum had been at home with her all day) her predominant language and the other children wouldn't want to be her friend. So, this mother started speaking Italian at home and now the child has regressed and her mother is at having listened to the school. When dd started nursery I virtually had to give the nursery staff a brown paper bag to breathe into, they were so traumatised at the idea of having this child who spoke English in their class. I did point out that as we lived in Italy, that dp and all his family were Italian and spoke to dd rather than using grunts and sign language she did also understand Italian!

MIne are 9 and 13 and certainly bilingual. Dd reads novels in both languages, goes on chat forums in both languages and speaks both languages with pretty well equal confidence. Ds is less confident with reading and writing in general, but is always happy to speak either language.

It has helped that dh knows some of my language though and that we visit every year. It maynot be his knowledge as such that makes the difference, but his positive attitude though.

Have noticed that my nephews, whose dad does not speak the second language and who are not able to visit their mum's country, are not bilingual.

Hi Annamama, no I don't think so unless I am just tuning out what I don't understand! lol

He does sometimes sing what are obviously songs from school in catalan but no more than english songs. Tis very strange, I think it can only be put down to me talking too much!