Do you check on your child once they are asleep, and what's the point?

[lukewarmcupoftea]

Just wondering!

My DDs (2.4 and 0.7) are such light sleepers that I wouldn't dare. DD1 is ill at the moment and I had a crisis of conscience last night about whether I should check on her before we went to bed. But then I reasoned that if she needed us, got worse, or was sick, she would cry anyway, so we would go in then (and they both have monitors in their rooms so we would hear them wherever we were in the house). Surely all checking would achieve would be waking up a little girl who needed her sleep?

I can see that it would be lovely to look on your little sleeping angels (if they didn't wake up), but isn't that more for the parents' benefit rather than the child's? Or am I being a bad mum not looking in on them?

no. but DS screams the house down if disturbed, and DD is currently in our bedroom anyway.

I would know if something was wrong, and do check if i hear the wrong kind of noise (eg whump - giggle! - whump - wail!...)

That puke story reminds me of the time ds did a POO in his nappy then promptly fell asleep.

I put my nose to the door and could tell.

Dh and I managed to change his nappy without walking him - impressive or what?

I check DS, who is 2, every night before I turn in. I do it mostly because he looks so gorgeous and because I like to give him one last kiss and tell him we love him before I go to sleep. I am such a softy!

I do and ds is nearly 7.

Habit since birth. Could not settle if i dont check on him.

Point????
Does there need to be a point? It puts my mind at rest, so i dont see why there needs to be a point thb.

I check on both dd's when I go to bed - I will also admit to trying to wake dd1 up just so I can get a sleepy snuggly hug and then having an attack of conscience and ducking down when she does stir so she doesn't actually wake up!

I don't "check" on DS (21mo) because I figure that I won't be checking on him for the 7 -8 hours I'm asleep so not sure why I would therefore check on him just because I happen to be awake. Surely if you check on them in the evening then logically you should wake up and check on them during the night, otherwise what is the point as as much bad could happen during the night as during the evening?

I do however always pop in to see him before I go to bed because I just love watching him sleep - blonde hair, big eyelashes, always looks so peaceful. Invariably I end up stroking his hair or kissing his cheek just from the sheer loveliness of him, and I am always at my soppiest when I see him like that. But no, I never consider it checking on him - it's purely the last wonderful indulgence of the day for me

Up until mine were 2 sometimes I was scared to go in in case they had died in the night but then I just had a word with myself and made myself go in as I might be able to save them if they were only just going.

truthisinthewine - DD1 has had a tummy bug these last few days, and has always cried out, or at least retched loudly enough for us to know what was going on. I know its grim, but I suppose if they were OK enough to go back to sleep without crying, then it wouldn't really matter if they were covered in dry vom in the morning? [uck urgh uck]

megonthemoon - lovely way of putting it

Riven - don't know how you get any sleep at all . I can understand the checking on the teenagers - unfortunately I got up to enough as a teenager for my future years as a mother of teenage daughters to be very very stressful

oooh I do... go in, give them both a good SNIFF, tuck them in properly, whisper sweet nothings

they don't usually stir at all

basically I'll have had a glass of wine and then I'll be all emotional

DD is a sound sleeper and can be moved an re-arranged without waking. Have to check her at the mo to make sure she hasn't taken her nappy off. Have had to change the sheets a few times lately!

I only check when I go to bed. I still do so now at 7 years old to turn off her lava lamp and make sure she hasn't kicked the covers off comletely. I have got over irrational out-the-blue possibilty of death!

I look at them to remind myself what they're like when they're not fighting or screaming. It's quite nice to remember why I love them so much and it probably stops me from turning into a raving lunatic the next morning when it's not yet 7am and the madness has started all over again.

I still wake during the night (having a baby that didnt sleep for 3 years fucked my sleep patterns right up ) and I always check on ds 1 &2 aged 16 and 14 and ds3 aged 9 .

Even dh admits he checks on them when he comes home from work at 5 am.

my d is 22mths and only check once before going to bed myself.Somehow i can hear her clearly where ever i am, and if ill she wakes and cries.

I check on all mine when i go to bed. for peace of mind, because every night i think of little Maud (long term MNetters will know what i am talking about)

I do check mine (3.7 and 21mths) not routinely just whenever i get the urge, they share a room with no monitor though.

I often have to rearrange covers as no sleeping bags here, dd went through stages of sleeping hanging off the bed etc. and i would have to push her back in, she also had pooed in her sleep once and i changed her nappy which obv wouldnt have done any serious harm if left till morning but far more pleasant for her.

I don't need to check on DS as he won't sleep anywhere except our bed so I can feel and hear him all sodding night!

I do have an angelcare monitor and used it when he was asleep in his moses basket about 2 inches from my face when he was little! I am a bit of a worrier though.

we check when we got to bed. we don't have a monitor. we rearrange blankets, push back into bed so they don't fall out etc etc. but yes, mainly to see how beautiful they are when they are quiet and all snoozy like.

i also out washing away too...

Little Maud

I still check on dd4 every night even though she will be 8 in May, partly to put the covers back on, and partly because however much we may have clashed in the day (and we do! ) I love her and that's the time I feel it most....

My parents only stopped coming in to check on me when they went to bed once I started Uni and was bringing boyfriends home! When I questioned it they said it was just habit.

I still check at almost 4 - puts my mind at rest and I can adjust covers.

I can't go into DDs room (she is 3.4) but I leave her door open until we go up so I peek in and listen to her.

We had the monitor on all the time until it broke a few months back so would listen to her breathing every now and then with that.

Like many others - If I go in she will wake up so just peer longingly from the door

I check on them to see if they're still looking cute

admittedly, they are 13 and 9 but so far I haven't found any lovers tucked up with them

never had a monitor though

I would look in on them when they were little, just to check their covers were up in case they got cold and woke. Mainly just to look at them.

I think it makes sense for you not to look in on them.