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Student parents support thread

457 replies

Lenni · 21/01/2010 15:38

I used to come on this topic a year or so ago and post on the general hand holding support thread but it seems to have gone so I'm hoping there might be enough of us to start a new one.

I'm in my final leg of a M.Ed in Education and am currently writing my thesis which is going very slowly okay but am struggling to find time, motivation or energy to study. It would be nice to know others are in the same boat and have a place to handhold, moan, swap tips and motivate each other.

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Molesworth · 21/01/2010 16:46

Hello Lenni, I'll happily join in! I'm now on my penultimate course for my OU degree (sociology). I'm trying to improve my study habits this year by writing every day. I'm planning to do a taught Masters when I finish at the OU, so feel I should address my chaotic study strategy problem

What's your thesis topic?

Lenni · 21/01/2010 19:12

I'm looking at how multi-agency professionals perceive the communities they are working with, with a focus on social inclusion. I am enthusiastic about it but like you have sporadic study patterns - I like the idea of writing something every day, that is something I think I'll adopt.

There must be more of us out there...

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mixedmamameansbusiness · 22/01/2010 11:25

Hi Lenni and Moleworth.

I am nowhere near as far as you guys down the study path, I am at present completing a modular certificate programme at first year under grad. level and planning a BA in History thereafter.

I am at a uni in London and last term completed my first module and am doing two this term and am noticing a much larger workload, mainly in terms of the amount of reading especially as I am studying history.

In terms of assessment I have to do either two 1500 word essays or one 3000 word essay for each module each term.

I work part time 3 days per week, am at uni for one whole day and therefore have a whole day when the DC (4 and 2) are at nursery 9-3, so I try to utilise this time as study time.

I try really hard to keep up with the housework and pre-prep meals freezing and marinating so that I dont have to worry too much in the week. I do BIG cleaning on sunday mornings with DH so then Monday is completely free for me to come home and get reading straight away I am also very lucky that DH goes to my ILs with the DC for the afternoon at the weekends normally so i also have time then.

I find it impossible to get up early and work late so without these days I am not sure what I would do. I also plan plan and plan.... every hour even if it is just to say "sitting around"

It does mean that I have to try and make every minute I am with the kids as fun as possible, or at least I feel obliged to.

Have to say, you guys must be doing a brilliant job to get as far as you have already.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

OnlyWantsOneFartleBerry · 22/01/2010 11:26

Hellooo all Im 2nd year English Student, with a three year old DD.... waves

mixedmamameansbusiness · 22/01/2010 11:29

Hello OWOFB

Lenni · 22/01/2010 17:48

Hello! You sound so organised mmmb - planning is something I could dedinately benefit from. How do you organise yourself- do you just use a diary or anything electronic?

I have 2 dcs - 3yo and 12mo. DD ha just started preschool 3 mornings a week and DS just started 2 days a week at nursery so I can work. As a family I don't think we have made enough commitment to my uni work in the past year and before DS arived it was easier to study as could work around DD's naps and get housework done in the day. Nowadays it is pretty much impossible to do anything when both DCs are around. I have felt guilty for using childcare but have realised this week when I've made loads of progress that it really is the beat decision I've made for ages.

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whiteflame · 22/01/2010 19:37

Hi everyone... I'm a PhD student (science). I have my final defence on Wednesday next week, and could definitely do with some hand holding!!

how far through your thesis are you Lenni?

Lenni · 22/01/2010 20:17

Hi whiteflame - I'm writing the literature review at the moment - am finding this next to impossible as I have read over the past 18months (had a year off really last year when DS was born) and a lot of the material is starting to look a bit dated or is no longer fresh in my mind so I am spending a lot of time re-reading and following up any research that is more than a couple of years old to check it is still valid. It is so ridiculously time consuming, and every time I feel like I am finally making progress I seem to hit a wall or a family illness/crisis and then it takes me ages to get my momentum back up. I have coded all my interview data and have the analysis written in my head iykwim but need to get it down on paper.

So have you finished writing up now then? That must be a mammoth undertaking for a PhD.

Apologies for all the typos in previous post - was posting from my phone.

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whiteflame · 23/01/2010 01:34

Sounds like you're well underway then Lenni. If it helps, I found my literature review the hardest section - I wrote it last, mostly because publications in my subject were coming thick and fast!

I have finished writing up. I handed my thesis in last September, and am hoping to see the back of it once the corrections following the exam are done. Do you have an approximate submission date for your thesis?

girlylala0807 · 23/01/2010 06:59

Hello,

I could do with some support from people in the same boat. Im a 3rd year history student and my ds is nearly 10mo. Last term was hard so im tryin to make up for it this term.

So can I join in

Molesworth · 23/01/2010 13:49

Hello everyone!

Your thesis topic sounds fascinating Lenni. Are you doing the Masters for professional development or is it a purely academic thing?

Whiteflame, GOOD LUCK for next Wednesday. Wow. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling, being so near to finishing after years of intense study and research. What are your plans once you have your PhD?

MMMB, please share your tips for being super-organised. Is it something a chaotic type like me can learn, do you think, or does it come down to temperament? I am keeping up with my 'write every day' resolution, although admittedly there are days when I only manage a couple of sentences.

whiteflame · 24/01/2010 05:13

Thanks Molesworth - my mood is alternating between 'lets get it done' and 'oh crap' to be honest!! The PhD as a whole has been a pretty intense experience, but well worth it. I'm off to the US for a research position in a couple of months (in NZ at the moment).

How long until you finish at the OU? Do you have any idea what you'd like to do your masters on?

Molesworth · 24/01/2010 11:56

What's your area of research whiteflame? Are you going to the US permanently? It all sounds incredibly exciting!

I graduate in 2011 so I'll be applying for postgrad study at the end of this year. I want to do a taught MA to deepen/extend my subject knowledge: there's an MA in Social and Political Thought at Sussex which looks perfect, but, inevitably, it's dependent on whether I can sort out some way to fund it.

Lenni · 24/01/2010 20:27

Hi Girlylala - the final year is so hard from memory I spent many hours of the night studying in my last undergrad year. Seems like a lifetime ago now! How do you manage with childcare etc.? Does someone have your son or do you use a nursery/creche? We have just put DS in nursery, he is 12mo, I'm finding it hard to leave him but needs must.

Molesworth - at the start I was doing the Masters for professional development but I was teaching when I started it. Since then I've had two babies and given up my job as DD was a difficult baby and didn't settle in childcare, I'm applying for part time jobs now but as yet no luck.

I'm hoping one day to do a PhD in a similar area but I live an hour from the nearest university and with DD not far off stating school I have to make a decision on it soon really as I would be making a big commitment to travel 2 hours a day on top of the other rigours of a PhD.

It does sound very exciting Whiteflame - this has opened up opportunities for you then? That is my biggest worry about a PhD, what would I do afterwards? I'm finding people are pretty impressed when I tell them about my Masters but in the job market it doesn't seem to be counting for much, employers would rather have experience. Maybe when I've completed it will be better.

I have to submit by May btw, I am hoping that it will be sooner though.

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mixedmamameansbusiness · 25/01/2010 10:58

Hello everyone....

Am in awe of Masters and PhD's, well done.

Girly - I am history too.... what period(s), regions interest you.

In terms of organisation, honestly I have to account for all my time even the free time. I have a standard filofax that I always have to mark things in so I know if I have things coming up that get in the way.

At the beginning of each week (norm. a Thurs as day after uni) I plan my reading. I just stuck a piece of paper at the front of my notebook and I have columns, one for required reading, then a notes column that I baiscally tick when I have made notes ready for class, I have a further reading column that accounts for what the lecturer has recomended and then another coloumn with reading I have sourced that is relevant. This way I can see exactly what needs to be done and how much time I might need to allocate at a glance.

I have a 2 hour break between lessons so for the moment I am factoring that time as a quick bite to eat and then to the library for essays.

The biggest issue for me is all the reading so my chart really helps me focus so that if I run out of time I know I have always still done enough.

This weekend though took uinexpected turns and plans all changed so I lost a whole days study and will have to accept that I wont get everything I wanted to done by Wednesday.

I am not the kind of person who can get up early and work and I find it really difficult to concetrate at night time when it is dark too.

Sorry huge waffle there.

Lenni - the childare issue is hard isnt it, but I just wouldnt be able to manage without it and the support of my family. I think you really have to be strict about gettingthe time to yourself to do it, I realise that DH really likes me to just sit and watch TV in the evenings once the kids are in bed but I know that I am going to have curb that and start taking myelf away. It is impossible to leave the DC with DH in the living room and go off and work as they inevitably follow me.

Lenni · 25/01/2010 13:20

Children following you around the house - now that sounds very familiar! I get "Will you just watch them a minute while I..." and then disbelief when I explain how disruptive that is when i'm trying to focus on something. I could do with a better system for recording reading, I'm going to give your approach a try this week, thank you mmmb.

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whiteflame · 27/01/2010 08:12

Well, I have sat the exam, and passed with minor corrections It feels a bit surreal at the moment, but I'm sure it will sink in a bit better tomorrow!

Molesworth I was doing a science PhD in genetics, and it was great! The US job is for a year, so not permanent. I guess I'll have to see what happens after the year... do you have any plans on how to get funding for your masters? It seems money is always a barrier!

Lenni, having a PhD is a necessity in my field (university research), so has definitely opened doors for me. Although it might not have been the most useful path to take if looking for a job outside the university. I think I would have undertaken it anyway, as I love doing research, and the thinking/writing process. I think regardless of whether the PhD will be useful careerwise or not, the main thing is to be sure you want to do it, and have a topic you're really interested in and committed to. I found the whole process quite lonely - most family members and friends don't understand what you are doing, and how much effort it requires. So have a strong drive is essential

Molesworth · 27/01/2010 10:46

ooh, I just visited the thread to wish you good luck today whiteflame, but forgot the NZ-UK time difference. CONGRATULATIONS!

Lenni · 27/01/2010 10:56

Congratulations whiteflame

I agree about it being a quite lonely process - I don't think my DH has all that much clue what I study, he knows a few keywords that he throws around in a very haphazard fashion when explaining to other people. I find it lovely though, especially as he always delivers his spiel with such authority. I know exactly what he does, but I wouldn't have a clue how to do it iyswim, so it is all learning one way or another.

I think I need to have another big think about the PhD. I would love to do it but need to have the right reasons for it. If I do it just for want to study I think I may come unstuck as the demands of travelling and managing childcare would soon dampen that enthusiasm.

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roomforthree · 27/01/2010 11:05

Hello,

Do you mind if I join in?

I've 3 dcs, 8, 2 and 1. I'm in my first year of medicine, so a long way to go yet!

Lenni · 27/01/2010 14:27

Wow! That must be some effort roomforthree, not least having DCs a year apart! Are you studying full time? Congratulations on making it on to the course and through the first semester, you must have worked really hard to get this far.

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mixedmamameansbusiness · 28/01/2010 09:24

Welcome roomforthree and Congrats Whiteflame that is great.

I am getting excited started to think about my essays for this term. I get quite irrationally excited when my reading can be related to something - bit sad.

Hello Lenni & Molesworth.

Molesworth · 28/01/2010 11:05

Hello all,

Hats off to you, roomforthree: studying medicine with three DCs must be a huge amount of work. How are you finding it?

What essays have you got to look forward to this term mixedmama? I'm just about to start my penultimate module (on the media). Feeling a mixture of excitement and apprehension.

I'm managing to keep up my 'write every day' resolution, so I've upped it to 'write 1000 words every day'. Not that I need to write 1000 words every day in terms of course requirements, but I need to loosen up, gain confidence and give myself the space to work through ideas rather than put it off until the deadline looms. Does anyone else suffer from fear of writing, and, if so, do you have any tips or tricks?

Lenni · 28/01/2010 11:15

I suffer from fear of failure and that hampers my writing quite a lot. I often give far too much consideration to the audience rather than just go for it. I wish I could put more of myself into my writing, am trying to make it more personal but that is hard in an academic vocabulary. I need to learn how to strike the right balance if I am going to go on and do further research as in my field readability is really important and authors who are interesting as well as respected researchers do far better.

If I don't know how to do something well I avoid doing it at all. I find breaking essays down into small pieces and setting out a structure with a word count for each section gets me going. I start off thinking I have to write 750 words for a section for instance and once I'm in the flow of it I'll clock up a couple of thousand which I can edit down to really much better stuff. Those small manageable chunks really seem to help me get started.

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Lenni · 28/01/2010 11:16

Mixedmama - I totally understand the excitement. I love getting engrosed in something, it is the real joy for me in studying.

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