Come & talk to me about how 2 under 2 will be fabulous!

[Bellepink]

Have DD aged 12m who is lovely. Currently expecting no. 2.

Have started panicking slightly about how the heck I will manage. On the plus side I have lots of family back-up and DH is excellent at pulling his weight, but on the down side we have a small house which has absolutely no "dumping ground" for things like double buggies!

I'm looking for a bit of reassurance really as I'm feeling pretty nervous and it's spoiling the pregnancy a bit. Every time I have a happy thought I have a "how the heck do people do it?!" thought and that makes me sad as I obviously only want to feel positive things about a new baby.

Hand holding welcome...

ohhhhhhh it's fine, really!
i had a 19month gap between ds2 and ds3 (plus ds1 who was just 4) and yes, it is hard work, but it's not that bad

you do what you gotta do! ds2 adores ds3, it's so lovely

Hello,
I had ds2 when ds1 was 2. It was mental, but it has got easier (ds2 4 and a bit months now) and think ds1 has really grown up loads in the past couple of months, and though I have less patience (which I used to have buckets of) I wouldn't change a thing.
It is hard, but you kind of "Get it" a bit more and know what to expect. All the usual Bla bla, get plenty of help from friends and family, and as always repeat daily, all together now "this to will pass" .
Double buggy a pain in arse, we kept single and use with a buggy board as ds1 grew out of double buggy (Maclaren twin triumph) we keep one in boot of car. Our house a dump. You'll be fab. Sorry to have rambled

Thanks! There's an 18m gap between me and DB and the same for DH and his DB so I grew up thinking that kind of gap was "normal" as lots of friends at school had the same gap with their siblings too... but now... somehow I look round and see lots of mums with an older child and a baby rather than a toddler and a baby and I feel we have been rather hasty!

Having said that time is marching on for us and also I read about people struggling with a 2.5yo or a 3yo and a new baby so would we have waited until DD was 4 before trying again... no. Definitely wouldn't want to miss the chance of a sibling for DD.

Why am I tying myself in knots...

....

Thanks hairymonkey!

I have a few queries... answers/tips welcome!

What age generally do toddlers grow out of buggies and move onto buggie boards? What do you do on long trips eg to zoo, where they might get tired walking around?

Also how do you coordinate all getting up and dressed and out in a morning, what do you do with the toddler whist getting the baby sorted/yourself in shower etc?

Who do you put in the car first, the baby or the toddler, or does the toddler toddle out whislt you carry the baby?

What about loading car with bags and buggie on your own - do you lock toddler/baby in house whilst putting things in the car, or put the children in the car first then get items???!

hello

remember that you are preggers at the mo and everything seems more tiring. when baby 2 arrives you will have so much energy!

as for your questions:

i think they need transport until at least 3 and up to 4 (a buggy bord etc but mine pops in the double sometimes still)

getting dressed etc...one baby in cot...one getting dressed...me in a hat hiding lack of shower!

I put toddler in first as likely to potter into road. you could take baby seat into the house so you can leave baby in it on pavement while buckling up other guy??

lastly; i put kids in then run about putting in bags etc. unloading i leave them in while unloading.

i live on quiet street with parking so may be different if you live on busier bit

good luck!

ps sorry about no caps, small wriggler on knee

Mine are 2.10 and 13mo, will try to answer but tbh, you make it up as you go along

What age generally do toddlers grow out of buggies and move onto buggie boards? What do you do on long trips eg to zoo, where they might get tired walking around? - I always take double buggy, let DD walk if she's willing and chuck her in the buggy if she's being a pain/very tired. I haven't used a buggy board as I love my Phil and Teds

Also how do you coordinate all getting up and dressed and out in a morning, what do you do with the toddler whist getting the baby sorted/yourself in shower etc? - Good question! When DS was tiny I would have a bath or shower when he was asleep but take DD in with me.

had a phase of having a bath, washing myself then getting them both in with me. Now, its a nightmare as they both are very mobile. I have a bath when DH can be available for the DCs, or a shower if not - DD can watch Peppa Pig and DS comes in the bathroom with me and trashes it plays while I get washed.

He likes to throw bottles of shampoo in the bath and pull back the curtain til he's soaked. I really miss my baths

Who do you put in the car first, the baby or the toddler, or does the toddler toddle out whislt you carry the baby? - When baby small, put them in baby carseat and leave them in the hall while strap toddler in. Then fetch baby plus stuff.

Now, they are both mobile so we all walk to the car together, I carry baby, I hope DD doesn't run off, and everyone gets in, I strap the smaller one in first. You are buggered if toddler does a runner while you are carrying a little one and they know you can't chase them as effectively

What about loading car with bags and buggie on your own - do you lock toddler/baby in house whilst putting things in the car, or put the children in the car first then get items???! - Leave buggy in the car most of the time tbh. Load babies in then get bags into car and lock house. Coming home, I carry the shopping into the house before I get the children out. Then I have lots of 'help' unpacking it.

Hi, I have DS1 age 2.3 years and DS2 age 6 months, so a 21 month age gap. I was like you, quite worried about how I would cope but TBH I have found it to be far easier than I anticipated! You are more confident 2nd time round and I find that DS2 just slots into our days IYKWIM? He comes out to things that I do with DS1 like going to the park, the museum, walks, toddler groups etc and he is fine. Although what has prob helped is that both my boys are fab and easy going DS2 just tends to sit and smile! I'm finding time more of a challenge now though that I am weaning DS2, I forgot how much time that all takes!

Re your questions:

I have a Phil & Teds pram and would totally recommend it. It takes up less space in the house than our old pram did (Quinny) and it's not too heavy to push with the pair of them in it. DS2 sits in the bottom while DS1 walks beside me 'pushing' the pram. I carried DS2 in a sling for the first few months too while hlding DS1's hand out walking.

Re coordination in the morning... In the Night Garden tends to go on while I have a shower and DS2 lies in his crib looking at his mobile. DS1 also just plays with toys etc while I sort baby out.

Re the car, depends where we are but I tend to put toddler in car first then baby but toddler is fine standing waiting to be put in the car (I would only do that at home though as we are in a quiet cul de sac).

Re loading car, I do both, sometimes they are in the kitchen waiting for me if I put something in the car but I'd only be gone for 20 secs, or I'll put them in car and then go back to house for stuff (again I'm just away for seconds and the car would be locked).

HTH and don't worry, it's not too bad and it will be fab for them to be close in age

Thanks hambo! Just what I wanted.

We do have the advantage of a drive to the house so putting the baby down in carseat won't be a problem whilst sorting the toddler out in the car.

Also re the buggy, I thought so (that the older child might need a buggy to snooze in until 3 or 4 even), so even if we'd waited a bit longer we wouldn't have waited until DD is 3+ to have another baby (ie it would be much the same problem re buggies even a year on from now).

I am planning to go back to work PT after this one, so won't have to struggle manage by myself all day every day. On the days it is just me with the two I should be able to call in some help.

What do those with a baby and a toddler, or even say a 1yo and 3yo, do all day if looking after them by yourself? How do you entertain both plus get things like lunch ready? I guess they nap at totally different times etc. Just trying to figure out logically how it is done!

2 under 2 is lovely when they are 4 and 5 (as mine are, utter peace, play so nicely and we can do all the same activities!!)

but at least you are not trying to do school runs with a new baby. that is hard!

i used cbeebies quite a lot to get things done. doesn't seem to have done any lasting harm so don't feel guilty.

a double phil & teds saved me. didn't move to buggyboard full time until DD2 was 4.

shower for you - before bed. don't even try in the morning unless your dh is about.

my gap is 19m too, and i would do it that way again.

I would suggest you get a double buggy that fits well in your car boot, then you can leave it there almost permanently and not have to trip over it in the hall. This helps with loading question also.

A buggy board will not be suitable for a lot of children under 2 and something you can strap them both into will be a godsend on some occassions.

I would put toddler in car first, baby can't move inside house so he is safe, toddler strapped in car so he is safe. Also if you leave the toddler behind while leaving with the baby it could worry them.

I would suggest getting everything ready before leaving house, getting kids in first and then very quickly moving the stuff but it depends where car is. Ours was on private drive so it was safe to leave them in the car for the few seconds it took to shift things.

Have one change bag for both children, wipes and nappies on top, baby clothes next and toddlers beneath, keep bag as small as possible and keep near front door.

what do i do all day?!!! eek...my hair just gradually stands further and further from my head and my mascara runs further down my face ubtil 7pm when i slide onto the setee in a tragic heap.....

breakfast is ok. srap in smallest - porridge for all..( sometimes remember me)

take 3 yr to playgroup
make dinner ( yes really) or at least prepare it

12 - lunch - strap in smallest or in his playpen

playpen and high chairs help - give small a piece of crust until the real thing!

hmmm...questioning my parental skills

Teach your toddler how to climb into the car! Start well before the baby is born/you get hugely pregnant.

Dd1 was 20mo when dd2 came along.

Always try to park car with the toddler side at the pavement.

Carry baby in one arm - hold toddler with free hand - sling as many bags as you can over shoulders. Keep car keys in baby side's hand and open car. Toddler climbs in (you still have one free hand to help)

Shut door - toddler has huge fun being in back of car and not strapped in! Put baby in car and do seatbelt etc. Cajole/bribe/threaten toddler into their seat and fasten seatbelt (remember to do this - I have driven off with dd1 sitting in her seat and not strapped in )

Also works for getting them out the car - baby out first - undo toddler seat belt with free hand. Toddler gets out of seat themselves - you then can sort of lift them out of the car with one hand.

Up till dd2 was about 7mo she was in a sling and d1 was in the buggy or walking. Dd2 loved it as she could see everything and I had both hands free for dd1. Great when you are at playparks. If I ever put dd2 in the buggy at the park she got restless and cried and/or dd1 took the huff as it was "her" buggy.

Having 2 under 2 is great - it is utter madness for a while but when they giggle and roll around with each other it is so worth it.

It is only bad when they are both howling at the same time - especially when the toddler is just doing it because her little sister is - sigh!

Thanks MMWA, ILYS, amidawish and elgreco! Lots of great practical stuff here. I work best having a plan of action - even if it all goes out of the window it still makes me feel more able to cope!

Great point about not doing the school run with a baby, with nursery it doesn't matter about being on time the same as school - hadn't thought of that.

Quick check out of those Phil & Teds - does the one underneath not mind having their view blocked? I guess the top seat doesn't recline (for fear of squashing the bottom seat?)

Looked at the Twin which I like more except the solo colour choice - bright red!- plus I guess it's harder to get in and out of shops etc as a side by side is always wider?

Is the P&T mainly for when both DCs need to pop in a buggy, probably for a nap so it doesn't matter that view is obscured? also what about a hood/protection for the bottom seat? Does a raincover fit on?

Sorry, questions questions, probably getting a bit ahead of myself but really curious as to how this malarky works!

That's great meep, thanks for the detail. I am starting to see how this thing pulls together. (slowly!) It's not as bad as all that then.. (hopes). I am a fairly organised & practical person so hope that helps too. Also, I will have my mum on speed dial!!

My dd2 doesn't like the bottom seat - but she is just a fussy wee thing! Most seem happy with it.

You can get a baby cocoon thing for the back - so baby lies flat - the toddler seat at the front gets positioned slightly higher - bagy in cocoon underneath (looks like it is in the shopping basket - byut very cosy and you can see the baby while you are pushing the buggy)

The rain cover protects the bottom seat too.

No - top seat doesn't recline - but I found that dd1 wasn't really napping in the buggy by that stage.

When the little one moves from teh cocoon to the seat in the back they can nap - I have seen lots of fast asleep babies in teh back of P&T's.

It is just a good buggy for getting them both places - especially if you are meeting in a cafe where a side-by-side double would be too wide.

Haven't washed in the morning for 6 1/2 years now!

What to do with a 3 and 1 year old? Get out of the house if you can.

Seriously trying to remember what I did with a 5 year old (montessori till 12.30) a 3 year old ( crech on fri mornings for 3 hrs)and a 1 year old but I really can't. I think DS1 watched too much telly.

If its anything like now with DS1 6, DS2 4 and DS3 2; we still watch too much telly, paint, draw, lego, bake, go to park, play outside, have friends over, visit my parents, playdoh, dressing up, making forts, play fighting, go out for buns and juice, library.....

I have dd1 2.4 and dd2 8 months, it is incredibly hard work at this stage, but I think (hope ) that the payback comes later as a previous posted said. In general I agree with everything said, general rule is plonk down the one that can't move & strap in the one that can whilst you sort out car/ cook food etc. Also make the most of nap times, either by sleeping or getting ahead of yourself by making shopping list, doing dishwasher, making tea etc. By the time they are both in bed at night you won't want to lift a finger.

On the subject of buggies though, I did buy a double but haven't used it much, it is occasionally useful to strap them both in but dd2 is such a titch that she still goes in the sling, so I usually take out the single buggie with a sling stuffed in the basket & the buggy board & then have various options for pushing/carrying/riding/walking. I'm selling my double now & buying a nicer single. I guess if your new baby is likely to be big & grow fast then that might not work, but you can always buy a double later if you need to.

There are plus sides. Bath times are great fun, dd2 thinks dd1 is the funniest thing ever & just laughs hysterically at her all the time. It's pretty damn cute.

Right then - 19mo gap here.

Answers to your questions...
I have Phil and Teds and love it. When DS was tiny he slept in the carry cot flat in the back with DD in the toddler seat in front. When he was a bit bigger, he was happy in the back seat. Now they are 3.4 and 21mo DD usually walks and DS sits in the buggy. I put my bags in the back! And if she gets tired, I pop her in the back. you're not supposed to put the heavier one in the back but they both weigh a lot so it doesn't tip up! P&T raincover fits with both of them in it.

Getting up and dressed - I used to get DS up and feed him in bed, then pop him in bouncy chair in bathroom while I showered super fast. If DD woke up early, she'd come in too with a toy or two and I'd lock the bathroom door so she couldn't get out. I'd dress the baby first, then dress toddler just before we were about to leave to minimise mess!

Putting them in the car - keep the one that moves strapped in for the longest - baby can't wander off by itself. I used to put baby in his car seat and use it to hold the front door open then take DD out and put her in the car before coming back for DS and his seat. On the way back home, I'd carry the baby into the house in his seat, pop him in the hall then come back for DD. So she was always contained and couldn't leg it while my back was turned

If you've got things to load, get the kids in first. Yes, they will cry sometimes but better that than wandering out into the road.

I loved having a small gap. DD still napped so I quickly got DS napping at the same time and had a well-deserved rest myself! I found it way harder being pregnant with a toddler. The baby was a doddle in comparison!

Fleecy I had a short spell of them napping at the same time, it was lovely.

DD doesn't nap anymore and I miss it so badly, but it has been worth it for the better bedtime.

Mine play in the bath together with lots of shrieking and splashing, it's good fun as well as hard work.

Get a Phil and Teds! really good advice,my buggy a bit shite, good for the odd trip.
I used to beat myself up about cbeebies, now just go with it! and try to limit it.
I make sure we get out for a good couple of hours a day no matter what the weather, had to buy my first sensible coat sob sob.
I've just started to have them both in bathroom when in shower, but I also get plenty of stuff chucked around.
We used buggy board since christmas, ds1 2.4 and he loves it, have had a few kamakaze dives, but pretty good.
With cars and stuff, I think you just kind of strap one in and do alot of back and forth, ds1 yabbers "Sunglasses, keys, phone" as I gon in and out for half an hour swearing and ranting.

Though think I'm having a period of grace before ds2 starts moving about, bugger, sorry to put a downer on things!

Great advice here.

I have 15month age gap.

I agree with pp on the following things:

double buggy necessary - I tried to manage without as I hated them all and we don' thave hall space or a garage for one. I had to give as DC2 got too big for the sling. We got a P&T (which I still have issues with ) and it lives in our car boot. Which meant we needed a new car since nothing big would fit in the boot of my old beloved Micra!

Actually I tend to drive a lot, esp in the early days, so I limited the use of the buggy at first. It's such a faff. It really depends on what you do all day. We went to lots of playgroups and soft play so DD1 could potter about and play while I could sit, watch and bf DD2. Often other mums/playgroup workers were really helpful at watching baby if you needed to do a nappy change or play a bit with DD1.

Getting into car - agree with getting your dc1 to learn to climb in by themselves. I can't remember when DC1 started but she soon was able to climb from the front seat, in between the driver & passenger seats and climb into her seat. Very useful indeed. Means I can be carrying DD2, open passenger door, help DD1 with one hand, then close door so she is safe while I put DD2 into her car seat.

When they were littler, as everyone has said, we had an infant car seat that we brought into the house, so I would strap DD2 into the car seat in the hall, leave her there while I took DD1 to the car and fastened her in, then come back for DD2. Worked fine for us.

Cbeebies. Seriously. Couldn't have managed without it. Having said that, I have no family help at all and a DP who works fairly long hours.

Oh and I found that napping in the buggy or going for walks to help DD1 sleep soon stopped once DD2 arrived. At first, you're feeding so often that it was almost impossible to time a walk so that DD1 would sleep and DD2 wouldn't need to stop and be fed or changed. DD1 would then get frustrated at not moving in the buggy so I abandoned that approach entirely. You might find the same, the buggy nap might have to stop (you can replace with a car nap if you find that works for them both but it didn't for mine).

And it is scary, I remember really worrying every time someone pulled that "sympathetic poor you" face during my pregnancy. I won't lie, the first year was really hard. But there are huge benefits to the small gap and I have honestly seen people struggling as much with the more traditional 2 year gap or even larger gaps.

ah - the holy grail of dual napping!!! If you can manage it it is bliss! Dd1 still naps (at 2.6yo) and I have worked dd2's naps to coincide - on a good day I can get 2 hours to myself!

I get most things done when dd1 has her morning nap - like now (MNing is getting things done ) and dd1 "helps".

A big tip is to try to go at toddler pace. If you try to hurry then everyone just dissolves into tears - if you slow yourself down to their pace then it makes life much easier.

the other great thing about this small gap is that the older one is young enough to not get too jealous. the "typical" gap of 2.5 is apparently a nightmare for jealousy.

def def def get a P&T. If you buy a second hand sport you can get new covers for it.
here

the P&T Sport is better for the one underneat than the Vibe from what i've seen. i was worried about the one underneath being squashed but in reality my two fought over that seat. when the baby is