How do you come to terms with never being pregnant again?

[luckywinner]

What do you do if you think you don't want any more children but still feel quite broody. And also desperately sad that you won't be pregnant again or give birth again?

I have two dc - ds 4.9 and dd 3. I am just starting to get some time to myself and my children get on well and I am really enjoying being a mum now. I didn't enjoy the baby years at all. But I am sad that I won't be pregnant again, or have another baby.

Do I just accept that 2 dc is more 'me' than 3? I like order, am not good with chaos, and I think 3 might just be too much for me. I am so jealous of people who have 3 children and one of my best friends is pregnant with her 3rd and I am vvv jealous. I want to have scans and be pregnant and be excited about a new baby. But I just don't think I would cope with another child.

I am not sure what I am trying to say here, just wanted to offload what has been whirring round in my head!

LeonieDelt its not Sheehan's syndrome in my case- think that tends to be caused by blood loss, usually during labour. My pituitary grew massivley during pregnancy, cue massive crippling headaches and bleeding in my brain....

At the time it was all hands on deck to mimimise risk to me and DS (in that order, disturbingly). Specialist thinks its impossible to assess the risk of it happening again without me being pregnant- by which time its obviously too late to do anything about it.

I am sad about it, but very grateful for what I have.

I had 4 children then was sterilised. Would have loved more but a) could not afford it and b) would have been a problem as I have antibodies which made each pregnancy more problematic. Last baby needed 3 exchange blood transfusions at birth. She is now 16 years old and I would be happy to be pregnany tomorrow. Just isn't going to happen.
I love babies but they grow into teenagers and beyond

*Mears" Wow 4 children!!

Your last comment depressed me- is it terrible when they grow up? I know things will be very different but kinda hoped there would be new good bits to replace the old ones....

There ar many good bits but there are many many more challenges to your sanity

I'm trying to come to terms with this as well! I have 2 miracle DS's one was born 10 weeks early - i had a stroke all my family where rallied round to say goodbye and told if I woke up i wouldnt walk again. I proved them wrong of course and I am healthy mostly!

I then had 5 mc's

DS2 - daily injections, waters trickled from 30 weeks onwards and he was born by section at 38 weeks very small

have since had 2 mc's most recent one being christmas just gone and I am trying to make the decision to stop. I will have some more investigations over the next few weeks and I would love another baby so so much but I don't think it's gonna happen. DH goes either way but I know he spent the whole of all of my pregnancies anxious and worried so I am now leaning towards not having anymore!

I have always wanted to be a midwife and I am looking into this now once DS2 goes off to school next month wahhh!!

Personally I don't think the logical arguments (money, time to yourself etc) carry much weight. It's how you feel about it.

I have 3 dcs, would have liked a 4th but dh was totally against the idea. I had at least 2 years of wrestling with this, and nagging him about it. But the last 6 months (dc3 is now almost 4) I've noticed my feelings changing, I'm thinking of what I want to do with myself now that they're all older (still don't know though!) and would really not be very happy if I got pregnant again. I would get used to the idea, and a child would always be welcome, but I am now quite ok with the idea that there won't be any more.

So I would say wait a while, you have time, see how you feel in 6 months or a year. There's nothing stopping you doing it then if you decide to go for it.

However I would say to you that 3 is a lot more chaotic than 2 (depends on personalities obviously). Having said that, someone saying that to me after dc2 would not have stopped me for a minute.