DS1 hates DS2

[wolfear]

Okay, he doesn't hate him but DS1 (2.5) hasn't really bonded with DS2 (7months). He barely even acknowledges him. I thought this would improve oveer time but it isn't really.

I try to encourage him to take an interest without forcing the issue, i.e. when DS2 is laughing or smiling at DS1 (which he does all the time, bless him) I'll say 'Look, he's smiling at you - he thinks your so funny or he loves you so much' but he still won't go near him but I struggle to even get him to look at him. If DS1 even touches him he says 'NO DS2', gives him a shove and moves away from him.

I know I need to give it time, but I've had friends with similar gaps between DCs and they all seem to at least interact (not always nicely) with their baby siblings.

Does anyone have any tips to help me encourage DS1 to take an interest in DS2? I'm starting to worry he'll never accept him.

Oh I do feel for you, but try not to worry too much.

My DS is slightly older than yours (3 year gap) and I have the opposite problem a lot of the time where he's always poking him, trying to pick him up, tickle him etc! It's not always what you need!

I would say that at 2 they still think the entire world revolves around them and, if DS2 isn't contributing, he doesn't matter. I very much doubt that he hates him (or if 2 year olds are capable of disliking babies personally).

Do you spend enough time with DS1 by yourself. I know when I got to 7 months I realised that we hadn't done anything together for ages. get someone else to take DS2 and ake DS1 swimming, for ice-cream or something. It might help.

I say give it time. DS2 is now 11 months and is hilarious. Always pulling faces, doing silly things, giggling. I have a sneaky suspicion it's because he knows he has to keep DS1 on side.

Stealing of the toys - not so good.

Good luck

Thanks fruity. I make a conscious effort to alway make a big fuss of DS1 and we always have time alone together each day and I take him out by himself every now and again. I've tried to be fairly textbook in that I concentrate loads of attentiuon on DS1 and have just made sure poor DS2 is feed, changed, comfortable etc (to a point ).

Others have also said that it's because DS2 is still a bit of a lumo and is borning to DS1. Maybe things will change as he gets older and a little more interesting?

Geez, 'scuse the spelling.

I have a 2 year age gap between all of mine. dd1 wasn't really that interested in ds until he started to walk and run about, now they have great fun tearing round the house together! They are both a bit too interested in dd2 (16wks) and are constantly trying to involve her, ie. getting her to play row row the boat etc.
I think it was alot less fraught when dd1 just ignored ds! I have to watch them all the time with dd2 bless her... she doesn't seem to mind though!
I'm sure that when they get a bit older they will be the best of friends (and the worst of enemies isn't that what siblings are for)