Can't cope with the sleep issue anymore

[SecretSlattern]

Absolutely had enough now. DS is 20 months now and still wakes 2-3 and sometimes 3-4 times a night. I don't even know what for anymore as he has started refusing milk, water (not that it made much difference anyway). He wants to be picked up all the time, he wants attention all the time. His screaming wakes up DD (they share a room in the hope he wouldn't be disturbed in there when DH and I went to bed) and then she is irritable and upset.

He doesn't even cry, just makes whinging and moaning noises in between screaming. The screaming calms as soon as he's picked up, then he is fighting to get down and go and play.

I can't do it any more. I'm so fed up of it and I don't know what else to do with him. I'm 22 weeks pg and finding getting comfortable a bit of a problem (not much, but a bit) yet as soon as I'm settled, you can guarantee he'll be awake and wanting to get up and play.

DH does help BTW but he works longer hours than I do and I feel its not doing him any good either. When we are all so tired from it, everyone is irritable and snappy.

Every single night without fail. I can count on one hand how many nights the child has slept through.

Does he nap in the daytime?

If you think it's an attention thing rather than a discomfort/needing something thing I think the only option is to put him in another room as far away from yours as poss so that you don't hear the whinging/moaning, and only hear him when he starts properly crying.

I'd get him checked out by the GP just in case there's a medical problem.

DS went through a phase of this and we put him in a room at the other end of a very long corridor and put toys & a nightlight in there and eventually he realised that he could cuddle his teddy and get himself back off to sleep. It wasnt anything like as frequent as your ds is waking though, which does make me wonder if perhaps your ds has a medical problem

Can you afford a sleep trainer/consultant? This does sound exhausting for you all, and would be good to get it sorted before new dc arrives.

My DD was like this. Cranial osteopathy helped her hugely - turned out she essentially had a headache (from birth) which would have been more uncomfortable when she was lying down in contact with her pillow.

Changed child now.