If you had a middle child (girl 3.10) who was very moody, esp around her mother and...

[emkana]

... in situations when she had to separate from her mother, which advice do you think would be better -

get tough, show her who's in charge

or

give her some one-on-one time to make her feel special, because she might feel a bit lost between a demanding older brother and a lively 18 month old sister

i have the same issue, and i would definately give her more one on one attention, tell her you love her, how special she is to you etc.. her brother pretty much takes the limelight all the time so she doesnt geta look in. she tells me noone loves her sometimes. she needs more attention and understanding i think. hth

I have a similar problem, though no sibling, and I would say that both approaches together would be good.

Will be watching with interest for other mn'ers advice though.

I was that middle child!
Give her lots of love and attention and tell her what you love about her.
I would make a big deal of building positive, respectful relationships between her and her siblings, too.

some similar issues here with my 3 year old middle child...i look at my gorgeous 19 month old and can't quite believe that when dd1 was only 6 weeks older than her she became a big sister. And then I think how ds (now approaching 7) had me to himself for the first 3.5 years of his life and I think that a lot of poor middle child's issues just won't exist if she didn't have to constantly share me with the other 2!!

sorry not much help, but much sympathy! i do just love spending one-to-one time with her though. one of the loveliest things a local mum who i don't even know hugely well did was to insist on having dd2 for a morning so dd1 and I could get a bus into town, have a coffee and go to Claire's, it was perfect!

ditto what mrsruffalo said