DP can't cope with baby crying

[ButterPie]

We have two DDs, a 2.10yo and a new baby who is 8wo. The baby has colic or something, she has terrible crying fits that start and stop for no apparent reason. My problem is that DP really can't cope with them. He seems to take it personally (sometimes I have better luck calming her with a comfort bf - she isn't hungry as the feed only lasts a minute or so and she isn't madly sucking, more nibbling, if that makes sense) and if she cries when he is in charge he gets really flustered and sometimes shouts at her (I hear this, as it happens when I try to have a bath)

He keeps saying that she doesn't like him, that she isn't a good baby like DD1 and that she does it on purpose to annoy him.

I know it can be very upsetting, especially because she really screams, and then stops when you happen to find the position or song or place to pat or whatever that is what works that once, but I worry that it is really upsetting him, so he is spending less time with her, so they aren't bonding as well, so when she does cry, she is less likely to let him comfort her and so on.

Any suggestions?

Goodness, I think you need to seek advice from your health visitor/GP about this to be honest. Fathers can go through PND aswell, it sounds like he needs some support. He should know that she cry's and it's not because he's done anything.

I wouldn't leave him alone with her whilst he's going through this, he's not being rational and he needs some help.

He sounds exactly like I was when dd was tiny. Definitely worth seeing your gp. He'll just feel worse if it continues.

I'm sorry I don't really have any advice what to do about your DH but I wanted to send you some support as the mother of another baby that cried a lot in the first few months.

With our DD it turned out to be acid reflux. Can you (or better, get him) to google that? I mention it because the: "she really screams, and then stops when you happen to find the position or song or place to pat or whatever that is what works that once" sounded familiar. DD liked to be held upright in a particular way and would scream and scream until we found the right position. What worked one day wouldn't necessarily work the next day either.

I know my DH found it hard that I could settle her with a comfort BF whereas he had to work a lot harder to comfort her. It helped DH when he could actually do something to help settle her - like googling 'crying babies'! I was the one who sometimes wanted to scream at her to shhhhh... Hang in there x