My 2yo screams I mean really screams for at least an hour before she will go to sleep

[Kelix]

Please help this has been going on for 3 weeks I have tried everything that I can think of. She is well behaved during the day.

I think Im going mad!!

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thanks for the reply - the only upset was she was ill over xmas being sick and she had to sleep in with me. Although she did sleep reasonablly well for a couple of night when she went back in her own bed. Also DP has been at home (no work) since before xmas but Im not sure how this would affect bedtime as he is always here when she goes to bed.

She is only just 2 (last week) so she doesnt really seem to understand things like star charts and bed times bears. Ive tried the retreat thing but as soon as she hears the safety gate open (even if she is sound asleep) she starts creaming again.

Bedtime routine Ive tried - done stories etc, even tried quiet time down stairs with dummy (she only has it for bed) but nothing seems to work. If I bath her before bed she gets excited and its even harder to get her to sleep. We usually do bathtime in the morning .

Ive just got her cot out and put her in there - not sure if this is a good idea but I dont know what else to do. After an hour she has stopped screaming but think she is trying to climb out now

I think she wants to come back to your bed and you shouldn't give in unless you want her in there permenently... Actually I struggled and struggled with putting DS into his cot. Now we've bought him a bed, and although I have to keep putting him back in bed if he gets out, he sleeps thru the night which he never did when younger/when in the cot.

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I thought this might be the case but she never goes into our room during the night - even though she can open the door. Even in the morning she knocks and waits for me to say come in (no idea where she got this from as Ive never asked her to knock or discouraged her from coming into our room?)

x posts all over the place now lol

New dummys could be an idea? Thanks

If I sit in her room she will stay quiet but will not go to sleep! Ive done 2 1/2 hours (my bum was numb!) she just lyes there looking at me?

I think - only think? She might ... only might have nodded off? Fingers crossed - only took 3 hours tonight

we've just been through this too, I think we're coming out the other side, but am still a bit sleep deprived, so forgive me if I ramble...

ds (dc#4) was 2 two weeks ago and before Christmas had got to the point that he was screaming the place down every night for at least an hour, sometimes 2 hours before finally going to sleep

In our case, we'd redecorated our room and have a lovely new bad and it seemed he'd decided he wanted to sleep in it too! I didn't mind too much, but DH wasn't prepared to put up with the kicking and wriggling, so we needed to get ds back into his own room.

He had been in a cot with a side removed and replaced with a bed guard. This meant he could get in and out, but didn't fall out.

In our case gradual retrest didn't work as he'd scream if we were in the room, out of the room, if we were both in the room, in fact if we were anywhere in the house or garden! He was disturbing his order sisters too One morning I found all three older girls playing on the PCs in the lounge at 3am as he'd woken the whole house up!

We tried lots of things, and had limited sucess with adding dd3 into ds's room (we figured seeing her go to sleep might show him what to do!). Somenights he'd jst lie next to her (asleep) screaming though! We got almost to the end of the Christmas holidays and moved her out as she's in reception and we didn't want her sleep distured before school.

In the end we put ds into his own single bed and adding a nightlight (colour changing thing that projects a bit onto the ceiling).
I think he might have been afraid of the dark as the nighlight has helped. Now he's a complete monster getting in and out of bed at bedtime, but he's stopped the screaming, which means stress levels are much lower and his sisters are getting disturbed much less.

I'll shut up waffling now! just try to remember that it's only a phase and it will get better

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So, does she stand up in the cot and scream from the moment you lay her down?
If you leave the room, "I'm just going to the toilet DD" and come back after a minute and then again "I'm just going to the lounge for my hairbrush DD" and come back in 2 minutes... and keep popping in and out does she eventually sleep? This is what I'm trying at the moment, along with leaving DS to cry for 5 - 10 mins at a time before putting the blankets back on him... altho he is a little older and not really very upset - just asking to "get out of bed"
What about if she has had a really physical day? (I always find its easier if DS has been swimming for example)

lovely new bed! it's not a bad bed, it's fab!

anhd I'll give up now correcting the typos - it's late and I should be in bed - hope you can make some sense of it!

Oh, and check the temperature of the room. For 2.5 yrs I've had difficulty getting DS to sleep independently and now, I've worrying less about him getting cold, started opening the window, and hey presto he pulls the covers up and snuggles down to sleep!

Yes - bumpybecky! Night lights. Now DS is in a bed he can get up and turn his room light on, so I always leave the room a lot brighter than I would have it to get to sleep myself. Hall light on and bedroom door fully open. Is it something about toddlers that they suddenly need a night light?

we've been making excuses too!

He likes it if I sit on his bed or the floor with him. It doesn't help him sleep, he wants to play / sing / read (in the dark!). So I've been leaving him before he goes to sleep. I'm just going to wash up / hoover / feed the dog etc, I'll be back in a minute.

It does mean he gets a chance to get out of bed, but some nights it's only 3 or 4 times (other nights he breaks into his sister's room and causes chaos!).

If I say Ill be back in a minute just going toilet or whatever she gives me approx 10 seconds before she starts screaming again. She starts screaming as soon as I leave the room - even if she has miraculously nodded off and has been asleep for 20 minutes.

Im going to buy a nightlight tomorrow any ideas of a good one?

We went sledging on Thursday - very physical, she slept worse!

Ill check the temperature too - Im trying absolutely everything here - getting desperate.

Thanks for your replys everyone, they are very much appreciated. Going to try and get some sleep now before she wakes up again for another few hours of screaming.

CantucciniVS: She has actually been poohing in the middle of the night which is totally out of the ordinary! She has been a little windy too but only for the last couple of days? Only poohed 2 or 3 times in the night too

Does she sleep in the day? now ds has started getting better again at night he's sleeping more in the day too...

I had thought maybe we should try and stop him sleeping in the day and make him more tired at night, but I think naps help nighttime sleep.

We've only managed the excuses trick after he'd stopped screaming. While he was screaming we really had to stay there most evenings. By adding the nightlight and big bed we stopped the screaming, but he is still slow to go to sleep, so now we try the excuses.

For us, baths at bedtime don't always help either. He took a real dislike to the bath at around the same time, so screamed then too! Bathing before bed just meant he was more wound up when we tried to put him to bed

I'm not sure where our nightlight came from, it was a present over a year ago.

It might sound stupid, but have you asked your dd what the problem is? ds is rather slow to talk, but his older sisters were much more articulate and I'm sure would have been able to explain a bit. Maybe if you do some role play with dolls / teddies and play at going to bed? get dd to tell you what teddy is feeling / thinking at bedtime?

I think 2 years old is a common time for fears and anxieties (sp?) it's as though they realise there are things to worry about. Maybe being scared of monsters under the bed (that was dd2!), the dark, the wardrobe door making funny shadows etc etc

It will get better just keep repeating that outloud, maybe you'll bore her to sleep.....

Good luck Kelix. I'm sure as you've been persevering for 3 weeks it will work soon. I used to watch a lot of 'supernanny' so I always use her tricks, return DS to bed/lie him down, dont speak or give any hint that more screaming will invite any interaction, calm child down if really hysterical... but it all works so much easier now we have the bed. DS is making HIMSELF tired by running to the lounge where I promptly return him to bed. Also At the beginning I mention what treats he will have tomorrow "Tomorrow we will go to play with your cousin, go to the park, and maybe you can watch Ceebeebees,"
I don't know if it is bad parenting practise to threaten him with punishments but I then say if you get out of bed now you can't visit your cousin tomorrow because you'll be so tired, it actually works. (He is just getting to an age of understanding such comments tho)

Meant to post this message this morning but didnt press post so sorry if Ive missed anything ill catch up later

Ive tried talking to her she smiles says shes fine and tells me she is going to sleep. Then she starts screaming as soon as I stand up to leave the room.

She has dropped her daytime nap most days, she used to go down easily around 2-3pm for an hour to 2 hours. When I try now its just the same as bedtime, more screaming, which is more than I can cope with most days.

I have a plan for today - I woke her up at 9am (she has been sleeping in) off now to do bath then out till about 3pm - NAP - Tea @ 5pm - play in bedroom for an hour - teddies role play putting them to bed etc - spend some time with daddy downstairs, TV on etc - quiet time from 7:30 - stories, singing etc then bottle in bed with another story at 8. Fingers crossed!!

good luck