My child has been allocated a social worker

[Ketrick]

Hi there, I posted this in the special needs forum, but I think the disabled parents forum is more appropriate. I have a healthy, happy seven year old, who is doing well at school. I have a chronic physical illness which means I do not work and I sometimes have to go into hospital. I went into hospital for the whole of last week. I am a single mum.

I phoned the school to ask them to keep an eye on my son. His dad, who loves him very much, but who has, in the past, not always looked after him as well as I would like, took a week off work to stay in our house and look after him.

As it happened, although he didn't brush his teeth twice a day, and his hair was unwashed, my estranged husband looked after my son well. However, I received a letter this morning from the local county council stating that my son had been allocated a social worker.

This would be useful in the event that I die, but I do not have a terminal illness. I am a little upset that someone has "reported" me to the social services. My son is the centre of my universe and I have worked hard to make sure he is loved deeply and taken very good care of, each day, every day.

What am I supposed to say to this woman, what is she supposed to do? Surely they should spend their resources allocating social workers to children who are neglected, or worse, not to people who are caring for their children properly? I feel quite upset by the whole thing, and I suspect my son will be both mystified and perhaps a bit upset too.

All the best,
Ketrick

Hi

I am not disabled but do have disabled kids,experience in an SSD- related charity and a child who isn;t disabled sio maybe some input.

Have you asked what the SW is for I wonder?

I know for ds2, as he has aged, access to things like young carers groups(he doesn't do thecaring as such but hislife is clearly different with two asd siblings) would be a wondrous thing just so he would be average for once. These things needssd to be accessed. Also if you wanted respite at any stage or if your Xwas unavilable or uncontactable whe you went into hospital(I dont know if it emergency admissions sorry)

I would start by just asking why they se the need, it may well be innocuous.

Hi Peachy, thank you so much for your reply. The letter about the social worker plopped through the letterbox this morning, I have tried phoning, but she wasn't there. I did leave a message for her to ring me. I WILL quiz her as to what she wants. And I will put forward my agenda which would be arrangements for when I either need to attend outpatients or go into hospital.

I have explained to my son before that if his dad wasn't available when I go into hospital, in an emergency, he may have to be looked after by people we don't know. He was horrified by that idea. Maybe I could arrange for a good friend to be a foster parent for him in such a situation, I do not know if that kind of thing is possible.

Thanks for your reply Peachy, it has made me understand that I can use this opportunity to find some support for my son, and that I shouldn't get too upset about it.

K xx

I agree with Peachy. I am a disabled parent (arthritis) and also a single mum. It took me a long time to get support from Social Services - even though I asked for it! Seems like if you don't want them, they are there doublequick, if you do want them, it takes months!

Anyhoo.... yes, you could find that SS are not to be feared, but might give you help. I am sure they will see that you are a good parent, and your worries are for nothing.

HOWEVER, since this is a situation that a lot of disabled parents go through, you might want to contact the Disabled Parents Network helpline: 0300 3300 639.

You can also look at their web site:
www.disabledparentsnetwork.org.uk

Might be useful to know although SSD have duty to investigate their focus is going to be on checking whether he is under the children act a 'child at risk of significant harm', (which does not seem at all likely!!) or a 'child in need' (which also includes disabled children by the way). It is likely that this going to be a one off visit (possibly to complete an initial assessment, you should get a copy,) and they will have to recognise your issues/needs as a diabled parent when they complete the 'parenting capacity part of the assessment.

Think private fostering regs say child can be looked after by someone not close family for up to 28 days, then SSD must be informed and they will do some basic checks on the person,

(I am a little rusty, so am hoping that I am giving right info re law and regs) do keep us posted on how it goes,

PS am not disabled parent myself,so hope you don't mind me posting, (but DH has CMT, and DS has MLD and poss ASD)