Are you happy with 2 DC or do you wish you'd had 3?

[kitpuss]

I have two children, aged 1 and 4, and I spend all my time obsessing about whether to have a third child.

I go round and round in circles.

There have been other similar posts but everyone who replies has always gone on and had the third.

Is there anyone out there who thought about having 3 but decided to stick with 2? Why did you decide that and are you happy with your family?

Please help me decide!!!

I think I feel exactly the same as you describe - have a 1 and 4 yr old and spent the whole first yr planning conception of 3rd child, despite really cracking up badly with two. Everyone looks at me funny now if I say I want three and reminds me what a mess I was.

DC2 is now 19 mths and I can feel the urge fade (despite planning I didn't act). I could imagine living very happily with the two. I wouldn't strongly regret not having three, but it would be like my vague regret at not having travelled more, not having made certain work choices etc., just part of how life turned out.

So if I stick with two, I would imagine in 5 yrs writing a post saying I was really happy and had only minor feelings of regret.

But I have a suspicion that I will go for three, because its something I've always wanted and part of my imagined future. But its nice to feel that if it doesn't happen I will be lucky to have the two I have. But I'm giving my body at least a few years to recover, and so that I don't have two under 4 - I find toddlers plus babies hard. Perhaps in a few years I just won't be able to bear the idea of a year+ awful sleep, getting enormously fat and SPD.

my two are just a little younger than yours...I don't think we are going to have another but like you I think about it. I am trying to make the most of dd2's babyness...makes me sad to think I won't have another baby but there are so many reasons for me not to, not least the fact that I hate pregnancy, am getting too old anyway and need my sleep, and had borderline PND both times...
but STILL, I can't get rid of the maternity gear or baby clothes
I don't know if I will regret not having another, I really don't

but I think 2 is plenty hard work!

I have strange moments when I think I want a third DC (mostly when I go in to kiss DD and DS before I go to bed). However if you asked me the same question at about 6.30pm, after a day of tantrums and tears, I would say a big fat NO!

Interestingly, I have one friend who has 5 kids who says that after the first 2 its not any more work! And another friend with 3 who says that when she only has 2 of them to look after its a breeze!

I am one of 3, as is DH, so in one way, we 'agreed' on 3 way back, before children.
But we now have 2 and we're sticking at 2.....
~ couple of miscarriages makes me realize I could perhaps have a third mc
~ small house, would almost certainly have to move / do extension
~ my age (38 this year) makes me worry re the age-related worst case scenarios

But these are really minor considerations. The main reason for stopping at 2 is that I feel our family is lovely and complete. If I didn't feel that, the more practical points above would go by the board and we would TTC number 3, no question.

So I think the practical considerations can be left aside and you need to really ask yourself do you long for anewborn? If so, I believe you can fathom a solution to any other problems.