How on earth am I going to cope with 2!?!

[pigleychez]

Please tell me its going to be ok with 2 under 2!

Feeling really down at the mo and am begining to think ive made the wrong decision having number 2 ( although its abit late now at 22 weeks!)

Ive always enjoyed being a stay at home mum to DD who's 17mths but the past few days ive found myself struggling.
DD is generally a good girl but when she kicks off now I find myself flying off the handle too and not being the calm mummy I was before.
I hate being like this and worry that its going to effect our relationship. Shes recently turned into a complete daddys girl, covering him in kisses and hugs, where as I dont get a look in.

Probably being dramatic and hormonal but its really getting me down. DD had a paddy earlier and I found myself curled up crying on the sofa which doesnt help the situaution at all. I know shes just being a typical toddler, Its me the one that the problem.

Im really getting concerned now that I wont be able to cope with a toddler and a newborn

Im sure the fact im so tired doesnt help neither does the being house bound in the snow so im prob being overdramatic... Feel free to ignore me!

Just looking for reassurance that it will be ok and Im not going to cock up my kids childhoods. So those with 2 little ones???

Of course it will be okay and tbh it is tough now. You are knackered and your dd is picking up on you not feeling 100% as well as having her only developments to contend with. It is great that she is happy with daddy as he will need to do more when the baby comes.

BTW you will get pulled up on using "paddy" but where I come from it used to mean a tantrum

Oh Poor you .... you will cope. I felt exactly the same before DC2, but have managed to cope. I have good days and bad days, but generally life is ok. Be nice to your self, you are pregnant and have a toddler ... make sure you use plently of cebeebies and rest wile dc1 is sleeping. I think it is such a shock when the paddys start and your lovely baby turns into a stroppy monster . Good Luck x

Can't tell you what it's like as I'm also pg with no 2 and having similar thoughts - but my first is 4! But he can have really demanding and stroppy phases and talks non-stop, and sometimes I'm so exhausted after a day with just him, I just can't imagine dealing with him and a baby.

But, I do definitely think how you feel when you're pregnant, hormonal, weepy and low in energy probably isn't a very good indicator, and once you've had a few weeks to adjust and recover from the birth, it's probably easier to just get on with it IYSWIM. I know loads of people who have had no 2 (with the first at various ages) and they all seem to still be muddling along!

You just do!

DS1 is 19 mths today, and DS2 is 3 mths today - I spent the first two months in tears alot of the time but DS2 actually slept through the night for the first time last night, and they are both asleep now, and I'm feeling so much calmer.

Being pg with demanding toddler is very hard - I spent alot of time inviting people round, not cos it was less tiring, but because meant someone else to make me tea and other kids to entertain my gorgeous boy .

It's worth it in the end. Give your DD a hug .

You know what - and I'm not speaking from a huge amount of experience here - but I swear pregnacy + one child is harder than toddler + newborn. I panicked throughout my recent second pregnancy (with twins). I had a shite time TBH and my relationship with my DS took a nosedive, and I had rage and grumps like never before - and despite trying my hardest he frequently was on the receiving end, and frankly became MEGA hard work. Towards the end I was physically very limited and a complete wreck of a mother and went in to complete denial as to how I was going to cope. But - my twins are now 3 weeks old. My DS is delightful. My relationship with him returned whilst I was still in hospital. He adores his baby sisters and I swell with pride seeing him with them. And - I swear my sleep is more and better quality than when I was pregnant - and that's with twins! And most importantly - I feel me again. I feel a good mother again. So please don't panic - things will work out ok

It will be ok with 2 under two.
DS1 was 14 months when DS2 was born!
I think the bit I found the hardest was being pregnant whilst trying to look after DS1. I did go back to work inbetween having DS's and I think that was easier than being at home. I'm not sure that I could have managed DS1 at home on my own full time with DS2, so well done you on that front.
Once DS2 was here, the first two weeks were a bit difficult but after we all got settled it was so much easier having them both here rather than being pregnant.

FWIW I am now 16 weeks pregnant with DC3, DS1 will be 3 at the end of the month and DS2 will be 2 at the end of Jan. I am starting Mat leave 6 weeks before my due date. I am under no illusions this time and am hiring a mothers help to help me for those 6 weeks I will be at home with both DS's.

It will be fine

It will be fine. Im currently a single mum to a 4 year old and pregnant with twins lol.
We all have bad days but trust me it will work out ok.

Chillax . It will all work itself out. Yes, you do feel, to start with, like you lose a bit of the relationship with your DC1, but then the keel rights itself again, and your DC1 has this amazing new playmate which enriches their lives so much. Mine are 21 months apart, and DD2 is now 7 months. I won't pretend it hasn't been hard work, but the hard bits have flown by so much more quickly than the first time round, and its starting to get easier now (touch wood...). When you see them just laughing at each other, its so lovely.

Your DC1 is just reaching paddying age anyway, nothing to do with the fact you are pregnant, it just makes it a bit harder to cope with. And yes, DC1 might go through a daddy phase, as you have to spend all your time with the new baby (my DD1 wouldn't let me put her to bed for a couple of months), but its just a phase and it doesn't mean they hate you or you are damaging them in any way. In fact, as my mum pointed out, it shows what a lovely and strong bond they are also forming with their daddy. Then the phase changes, and it'll be all mummy mummy.

Its a time of huge change, and hard work, but come out the the other end in a few months time and its all so worth it. Enjoy your one on one time with DC1 now, but start to try to get some help if you can, and get DC1 used to being looked after occasionally by other people, just to ease the transition for her a little. And the more help you can get in the first few months of DC2's life the better.

(Oh and yes, cbeebies... now is definitely the time to relax about a spot of cbeebies babysitting!)

DS1 is 13 and half months and DS2 is 8 weeks, agree that the pregnancy bit is worse than the 2 babies... went through a v similar thought process like you at about the same time during pregnancy...also just before the birth got quite emotional.... "how will i ever love no2 as much as no 1?"... all vanished as soon as clappd eyes on no 2..
oten feel like in feeding extravaganza.... and often have 2 crying at the same time as can't fulfill everyone's needs at the same time- but honestly it is ok... and does get better!!!... oh have to go ds2 now starving!!!
good luck- you'll be ok though... honest