Toddlers and evening parties

[manchestermummy]

Okay. Probably should be posting in AIBU but they're a scary bunch!

I know you're all going to say stop being so PFB about all of this, but please be nice...

We have a family party to go to at the end of the month (MIL's - it's a 'big' birthday). It starts at 7.30, which is around the time our DD (2.3) generally goes to bed. I don't mind her staying up a bit later, but the thing is she just can't! She dropped naps months ago and copes fine without, but does need to get her 12 hours in. Trouble is that putting her to bed late doesn't necessarily mean that she will still get her 12 hours, which equals one miserable toddler and one hellish day after.

MIL has been guilt-tripping us about this as DD is the only person she wants at the party. We think we can stay until about 9 which given it's a half hour drive away I think isn't too bad. All the other small children in the family regularly stay up very late (they're DD's age too) so MIL thinks we are being wholly unreasonable. We're not saying we can't go, but we are saying we can't stay all that late.

What do you do about this sort of situation? See how she goes?

And before anyone says the time of the party has nothing to do with us and why are we making any issue of it, DH is paying for half of this party...

I would see how she goes. Unless MIL can budge on the time? We took our DSs to a party recently (6 months and 4.5 at the time) that started at 6pm, expecting to leave at 8pm but DS2 conked out in his pram and DS2 managed till 9pm.

You could also take her buggy ( assuming she still has one) for her to sleep in so you can maybe stay for a bit longer.

Doubt she could budge on the time - it's at a hotel (we could stay I guess but we skint now that DH is forking out for said party!)

She absolutely will not sleep unless she's in a bed in the dark - it's been over a year since she slept in a buggy, but it's a good suggestion!

take dd
let her fall asleep on you

if she wont fall asleep unless in the bed then what is the prob

you say she wont last but then oyu say she wont fall asleep
all those AUnties to cuddle?
she will love it

..adn
dont say " we wont stay"

just go and see

i know what you mean - we had a rigid routine but occasionalyl breaking out of it was great

Yeah, it's odd. She goes bonkers when tired but just won't sleep unless there's a bed involved. It's like she gets overtired and gets too wound up or something. I'm exactly the same btw: I cannot sleep unless I'm in bed in the dark.

yes i remember once getting all shirty about a party then it was fab

At that age (til about 5ish) our dd couldn't really cope with it, and the only times we would attempt it were weddings really.

ds (17mo now) has never been kept up, as far as i can remember, and maybe I am a bit precious but i know what works for us and how our children react!

well then let MIl sort her out
tell dh its his job as its your mums party
you stay at hotel/mums

he is in charge of dd

I second seeing how it pans out. If she's melting down, cranky etc, you can leave. Otherwise, I would definitely stay as long as you feel you can and take the hit the next day. It's a special occasion.

LadyintheRadiator it was SIL's decision to have the party start at 7.30.

9 is the sort of time I have in mind that we'd probably leave, and we haven't mentioned a time at all to MIL yet. DH does at least want to stay to enjoy the buffet he's paying for!

take kit

quavers
juce drinks

etc

to ram in gob

well then let him stay and then go home
you bed down at sils

RolandButter you clearly know my DD: items to ram in gob always required!

it will be great

come back and say
and make sure you drink not dh

and make mil hold hera lot

SIL and MIL live together. No ta!