another mum determined to babysit all of my kids - help!

[fernie3]

I have three children aged 5,3 and 11 months. My older daughter has a friend in school whose mum is very "full on". She has had my daughter over to play and since she has 2 younger children of pretty much the same age gap she has also had my 3 year old over to play with her younger child. They stayed overnight each time. We have also had her two oldest at our house overnight.

She has phoned up today saying "you dont have a choice in the matter but Im taking all three of your kids overnight tomorrow" which in theory is great BUT I just have this horrified feeling deep down about my baby staying overnight there - the main reason being that she is a single mum (nothing wrong with this before anyone accuses me! but it means she would have 6 children under 6 to look after alone). Another reason is that I have been to her flat and it is VERY small she has two bedrooms and the two older children share a single bed - I know that they will be fine on the floor and to be fair she had the two oldest in her bed last time BUT with the baby I just feel a bit more uncomfortable as she cant stick up for herself so much!.

On the other hand I am pregnant and have been very sick so a rest (she is saying she will bring them back saturday afternoon so it would be the first lie in I have had for nearly 6 years as we dont ever have have offers of babysitting from anyone else!).It would also be REALLY nice to have time with my husband who has been suffering from depression so I think needs a bit of TLC himself.

what would you do am I being over sensitive about my 11 month old - she is no delicate flower but she IS young?

would you feel comfortable with this?

I know that I would offer the other way around so would end up having her three here at some point (which scares me a little!)

I have a couple of hours to decide and I dont know what to do!.

Oh God, how difficult for you. I think she is trying to be nice but if you don't feel comfortable, don't do it.

I suppose you could take the coward's way out and claim the 11 month old has D&V?

Do it.

Unless you actually think she is incapable, then do it. People who atre decent are always better alert with other people's children.

maybe keep the 11mth old at home? this friend sounds fab by the way - heart in right place - but you need to feel comfy too

Could I please have this lady's phone number? what a lovely offer. I would go ahead. I'm sure she won't mind you phoning/texting to keep your mind at ease.

I wish someone would offer to take all 4 of my kids, does she want them instead??

Seriously though, I would do it but only if I felt comfortable

I have no worries abotu her actually looking after the kids its more just a feeling of "my baaaabbbbyy" as my 11 month old has never been away from me before!

I think I will go for it, an offer like this might be once in a lifetime especially when number 4 comes along lol. My youngest is used to mayhem in this house so probably wont notice a difference anyway lol

Six kids in one flat? The kids will have a ball!!!!!
She sounds like a lovely friend, do it!!

Wish someone would do that for me

That is a lovely offer and I think you should take her up on it. Children dont mind where they sleep when they're at their friends and I am sure if you're friend didnt think she was up to it she wouldnt have asked.

Just make it clear that if any of them dont settle she should give you a call and you will come and get them. If it makes you feel better, give them a ring just before bedtime on the pretence that you want to say goodnight just so you know all is okay.

You're friend sounds fab btw.

If you don't feel comfortable about her looking after them, then you should say thanks so much, you will definately take her up on the eldest 2, but DC3 wouldn't settle - don't take no for an answer on that one. And make sure your DH gets up with 11 month old BTW!!! - no lie in for 6 years and there you are pregnant and another mum is even offering to give you a break.

Still have some time with DH, but make sure you settle 11 month old first and then get a video and take out or something - a kind of date.

I have to admit the lack of babysitting is my worst worry about my imminent 4 - it'll be years and years before they are a manageable group for staying over anywhere!

I've also had a very good friend offer to take my three children, who are about the same age as yours!

I'm still breastfeeding the smallest so an overnight stay is out of question, but even if I wasn't breastfeeding, I wouldn't let a friend babysit the whole night.

i let the older two stay over, and we've also had her children here to stay.

Aged 11 months is a very clingy age - and the hardest age for someone to babysit.

Just say no, be strong!