How do you/ your children respond to 'boastful' children?

[Whippet]

Over New Year we spent a few days away with some friends. Although we know then quite well, after being with them intensively for 3-4 days I was struck by how boastful their children were.

We try to teach out kids to feel proud of their strengths/abilities, but not to go on and on, boasting about everything.

However these kids never stopped:
"I'm best at football"
"I got X, Y & Z"
"I can do this best"
"I always win"
etc etc

Although I know I shouldn't, I felt rather sad for my own children when they didn't 'stick up for themselves' by taking about their own strengths, or challenging some of the claims of the other kids.
It felt a bit like a 'zero sum game' whereby letting these kids go on about themselves in some demeaned my own kids.

I can see where they get it from - their Dad is just the same - has an opinion on everything (and it's the 'right' one ); has the 'best' equipment/clothes/car etc.

What would you have done? I found myself wanting to quietly 'put them down' a bit, they were so goddam irritating.

I think you should tell your children to just say 'that's nice' in a not caring way.

I would have sadi the boastful kids,'It is not very polite to speak like that'

My dd has a friend like that. We find agreeing with them disarming.

x "I am the best at music even better than all the year sixes"

dd "Yes you are you really are brilliant at everything and utterly amazing, thank goodness for you"

x

Haha Mintycan - like that - must try it!

My blood began to boil, I must admit, when their youngest (same age as DS2) began to comment on my DS2's abilities i.e. "Gosh, has DS2 really only got Stage 3 swimming? I got Stage 5 last term"

Weirdly, their parents seem strangely proud of their kids when they're going on like this!

Did I say they were friends BTW? Perhaps I need to revise that description

we go for ''that's nice dear'...

"Weirdly, their parents seem strangely proud of their kids when they're going on like this!"

I am guessing that is where they get it from. Maybe their parents go on and on about who is better than who all the time.

That method really works. DD always grins at me when she is doing it and it makes me want to snigger. It really takes the sting out of it.

7y DD tends to roll her eyes a bit in such situations, or will answer "that;s nice" and move on. If in a more stroppy mood than she might comment on it not being the case, or tell them not to be so daft.

TBH she is pretty matter of fact about it all and it washes over her. She has a friend who did this a lot, but has improved tons.

My DS does this, and no I'm not proud of it! Please don't go all judgy on parents, I just happen to have a competitive kid whose mouth gets carried away with him sometimes. There's no malice in what he says, he's just full of himself in the way that 8 year old boys are. Yes, it's probably a self-esteem thing, no I haven't got to the bottom of it yet, yes I'm trying.

DS 6 best friend does this. It drives me nuts. DS ignores it and just thinks he's making things up! He(friend)has older siblings, I think that is part of his insecurities rather than his parents.

Actually, it was the youngest boy, aged 7, who was the biggest pain.

At one point he said to me, "Guess what, DS1 (my eldest) doesn't know ANYTHING about football!"

I couldn't help myself, and said, "Well,no, that's right, that's because football is really not very important, is it? Actually he's more into AstroPhysics.." (which is partially true )

Oh gawd, it was SUCH a wearing three days....

It must be a sign of underlying insecurity, no? Always to be looking for that outward endorsement of how good they are??

Yes, I think it indicates that they are insecure; and tbh it makes me feel a bit sorry for them (though I can see it would be extremely annoying too!).

Is the father critical of them? Perhaps they are trying to get his approval.

There seems to be a developmental stage when most children tend to boast.
"That's nice" is a good answer.
Dd don't seem to notice when others are boasting, while ds and his mates are always boasting for something. They are actually quite irritating, but funny, in their own way.

Brigit - yes - the father is constantly onto them - berating them for everything. A very 'pushy' parent (in the true sense). It must have rubbed off on them.

Poor kids, they obviously get little praise from their father so they feel the need to boast about their achievements to others so as to get the acclaim they crave. Makes me feel really

The dad does praise them, it's just that he's sooooo UBER competitive that the minute they've done one thing he's pushing them onto the next level etc. So they must always feel that they have to get the next thing to satisfy him I expect.

My friend who is a primary school teacher says she has seen children with parents like this before, and they usually get to their early teens and then 'burn out' or go off the rails

I have nothing against a bit of competition, but this was all a bit much.

We know a boy/family like this, DS1 used to be friends with him, still sees him quite a bit, they are now 16. Nothing has changed from when they were at primary, just progressed, really. It used to be just boasting about what they could do/what they had, I know that the Mother was absolutely paranoid about the kids being seen as 'boring', and there used to be a lot of those type of instances where if my DS had one pencil, friend would have 6 better ones, etc - you get the picture. Nowadays, it's things like, my DS - 'x, have you got any pets?' ' oh yes, I've got a giant snail, six pirahnas and a tarantula' (not, afaik, remotely true, but we only have a bog standard dog and even more bog standard hamster!!) and, unfortunately, bragging about how many girls he's slept with - no idea if there's any truth in those stories, and not interested either!! I just basically raise my eyebrows, and remind my 2 that's it's not clever to lie/exagerate/b*s in order to impress!!