Gettinhg baby into own bed

[RFCMummy]

I need some advice and support this morning please! I have DD4 and DD2.5 and DS 3 months. DS will sleep fine in his cot in the day time but has slept in our bed and been pretty much held all night by me since birth as this is the only way he will sleep without screaming!!

Me and DH have decided that we really need to break this habbit and get him into his own bed (still in our room), so last night we did the baby whisperer routine of last feed, a story, cuddles and into his cot at 7pm.

He slept for 10 minute spurts at a time and then screamed. One of us went in, picked him up and gave him a cuddled and I fed him twice throughout the evening before putting him down. Again about ten minutes sleep and then screaming. We kept this up until about midnight when we were both exhausted and went to bed with pillows over our heads and let him scream for a bit. I fed him twice more through the early hours and the pattern of screaming and very brief periods of rest continued until 5am when I brought him into our bed for a feed and then got up with him at 6.

I know it's only the first night but I feel so mean and horrid towards my beautiful baby boy who does nothin but smile at me.

Much as I love cuddling him all night I really want him in his own bed for his own safety and independence as much as for me to get some better sleep!

Any advice?? xxx

It's only been one night, I would keep it up - he'll learn eventually. You're not being mean or horrid, you're teaching him to sleep on his own.

I've read about this but haven't tried it, there is no right way to do it, I suggest you do it gradually over several weeks. Always respond initially when your baby calls for you I'd say and then perhaps over the weeks delay your response. The suggestion I read was to attach a cot to the side your bed with the side down against bed to begin with. Later the railing is placed up and the cot is moved a few inches from the bed. Gradually the cot is moved further and further away until it is in the baby's room. Perhaps this approach will work better than cold turkey for you?

that's a great idea thanks. I am going to move the cor with the drop down side into our room now!! xx

We have a bedside cot which DS has now been in for 8 days (woo!) his sleep is not great (he's 3 months old too, and co-slept until new years) but he's managing 1 4 hr stint before lots of 45 minute one
Most nights, I feed him, then put him down still awake with a dummy, and once the light is out, he drops off on his own (I have fed him to sleep once by leaning into the cot). We're going to move him into his own room once he is sleeping through the night I think!

anyway, will watch this thread and see if anyone has better ideas/more success than we have had so far!

my ds is very odd!! I moved the cot next to my bed and dropped the side so there was only a tiny bit of railings between us and I reached through and held his hand and stroked him but he was having none of it!!!

the thing I don't understand is that he will sleep happily in that same cot in the daytime on his own no problem but you cannot get him near it at night without him screaming the place down, why is that???!!

That is strange. I'll have a think.

Fingers crossed another MN will have a strategy you can try?

Is he getting too much sleep in the day and perhaps if you adjusted his routine in the day he'd sleep better at night?

Is he teething possibly? Both my kids started teething early and had 2 teeth by 4 months.

I think if he's not unwell, you've given him some teething gel (just incase), has a clean nappy and has been fed and also you've adjusted the daytime routine for naps that aren't too long or too many. Then keep persevering and maybe he'll get used to the cot at night over time. Do you have a good bedtime routine as well so he knows it's night time and therefore bedtime?

You could always take a break and try again in a couple of weeks?

I think he sleeps too much in the day you are right. I struggle to get it right as have 2 dd's under 4 and sometimes it's beasier to let him sleep while I am doing stuff with them. I must redress this!!!

I have a 2 and a half year old and a 12 month old and I confess I've been guilty of that too

Needs must!!! does this look like a reasonable routine for a 3 month old?? I should know all this after 3 kids really!!!

TIME ACTIVITY
06.00am WAKE UP ? FIRST FEED
06.30am Get dressed ? sit in kitchen while girls have breakfast
08.00am Nap in cot
09.00am Wake up / Feed / Nappy change
09.30am Go out ? toddler group / activity
11.00am Feed
12.00noon Nap in pram on way to / from nursery
2.00pm Wake up / feed
2.30pm Play time
3.15pm Nap in pram on way to / from nursery
4.00pm Wake up / feed / watch tv with sisters
5.00pm Bath followed by story
6.00pm Feed and watch bedtime tv with sisters
6.30pm Bed in cot!!

Perfect!

well he is happily asleep in his bouncy chair now and I daren't move him to cot in case of screaming!!

will take him in there after next feed I think!

And would you believe I am thinking of trying for a fourth in a couple of years!

I wouldn't worry too much about routine or what the baby whisperer thinks. I'd go down the easy route and have him sleep with me.

Especially with two other young kids to look after, you need all the rest you can get. And I figure the quickest way to get him to sleep is in your arms. I mean, how do you want to spend your evenings and nights? Listening to a crying baby or in relaxing peace and quiet?

You can always change his sleep habits when he is older. Well, that's my opinion anyway. All the best of luck to you!

thanks I take that on board. just don't want him still in our bed when he is older!!

3 months is still pretty tiny though!!

the health visitor thinks that because he is breast fed he feels the need to be close to his food supply through the night!! makes sense!!