Short-tempered dad - help needed

[Floordad]

Hi all, I'm a dad with a usually-angelic-occasionally-horrific 2 yr old DD. We have another due in March. My wife and I share work/childcare so I have one day a week alone with DD. I love my daddy-day-care day and don't want to end it. However, since she reached 2 yrs, she's been having the standard occassional meltdowns. The problem is, I lose my temper too quickly. I hate myself for it and try to stay calm, but sometimes (once or twice a month) I lose it. Has anyone had any experience of anger management, or any recommendations? Thanks.

The only tip I can offer but really works for me when I'm feeling easily frazzled is to count to ten before reacting! May sound easier said than done but if you make a conscious effort it really does help and it has helped me avoid being shouty mum as often as I used to be!
Try to let the little things go and save the discipline for the big things. ds2 went through a phase when he seemed to be doing everything he wasn't supposed to be doing all the time and I spent all my time shouting or telling him off but then changed tack completely and decided to ignore the lesser things and only intervene when he was really out of order. I was amazed to find he changed almost overnight and it had all been a bit of an attention seeking thing!
HTH

Thanks, will try to remember to count to ten. So far, I always forget to do this when things get heated, maybe I'll write it on my hand first thing in the morning!

Yes, choose your battles. Let the small things slide e.g if she wants to wear odd clothing combinations, odd socks, drink from a plastic pot, eat with fingers, even make a lot of mess at mealtimes etc. Counting to 10 is a good one, as is walking into a different room and taking a couple of deep breaths (as long as she is safe).

Just remember she doesn't yet have the same concept of norms, safety, or even a 'theory of other' where she is aware of how other people feel. Everything is an exciting learning experience or a desire to stick to routine - try and see it from her perspective.

Well done for noticing this and wanting to do something about it. The best tip I ever got was to smile. Even when they're driving me to utter distraction, if I force myself to smile it helps break the tension. I know it sounds odd but give it a try.

The best advice I ever heard was the film-crew in the room technique - imagine you're being filmed for a documentary, with or without Kirstie Allsop presenting. That sense of someone watching you will stop you in your tracks and calm you down.

Or walk away for a few minutes - as long as your DD is in a safe environment, just go into the kitchen and take a few deep breaths. If she yells for a few minutes it won't do any lasting damage.

We all lose the plot occasionally - and 2 year olds can be bloody hard work. So don't fret too much - good you're recognising it as a problem and doing something about it.