How do you manage naps in the day? (for DCs that is!!)

[whattheheck]

I am slightly at wits end as to what should be doing with 10 month old DD
She has two naps in the day, first one usually going down 9.30-10 but these can be as short as 45 mins each. This means she is really tired and grumpy by the end of the day.
However sometimes (like this morning) she can sleep for 1.5 hrs. Which means often she doesn't want another nap later - eg she's still asleep now at 11, 90 mins from when I put her down.
Should I be waking her? I don't usually, but then I don't know wehter I should.
I'm just really confused as to how much sleep she should have in the day and how to plan it. I don't want her miserable and I could really do with a break of longer than 40 mins to get things done!

My little man whose now 12 months is happier now on a 10.30am nap and 3pm nap. Sometimes he gets a bit grouchy towards 10am and I put him down slightly early for the first nap. It varys on whether its 45 mins or 90 mins the first nap and the second is the same. But I don't wake him. As long as I wake him before 4.30pm he goes down ok for a 7 or 7.30pm bedtime.

I think it won't be long and he'll gravitate to one late morning nap only. You have to judge by your child though, if they're doing a lot of crawling or walking they are more tired and may need a short nap in afternoon.

Does that help a little? Some other MNs may have some tips for you too.

both dd and ds had cut down to one nap by 11 months - it started by them having a longer morning nap and then not wanting to sleep later on. I just pushed the morning nap later and later until eventually it ended up just after lunch. It was stuck at 11.30am for quite some time though and I either gave a biggish snack mid-morning and lunch after they woke up or I gave lunch a bit earlier and a snack after they woke. Also, some days they wanted 1 nap and some days they needed 2 - I just had to play it by ear and judge each day what they would need.

9.30 may be a little early for a 10 month old, depending of course on when you have the pleasure of her from in the morning?! It may need to be a little later.
A sleep cycle is 45 minutes I think, so if they wake after the first 45 it's cause they are naturally coming up from a cycle, and at this age everything is just soooo interesting! Mine both did this, I did/and do now again, try to get them to resettle in their cots, for the second I can just put music on and he'll grumble a little then resettle for another cycle, it was more of a mission with my first and I often gave up. If there are lots of nice interesting things in the cot which grab her attention when she stirs you could take them away. They do gradually shift and change their patterns and it can get really frustrating to see them tired and grumpy.
I'd not wake her I don't think, unless it's after half 4.
Think children of that age need 14-16 hours a day, so maths should have an answer there for you!
Hope she gives you a bit longer soon!

hello thank you so much for the advice
i'm usually getting the pleasure of her company around 6.30am (also during the night - but that's another story) so she's been up and about for 3 hours....but I'll try pushing it later and see what happens. I'm quite happy with one long nap! Just at the moment it seems neither one thing nor another....
how many hours between naps do you think they need? Again she's looking really tired now but steadfastly refusing to go down....

Show her you mean business and put her down and keep persisting with it if she's tired

Millions of threads on MN with tips on for this

True there is loads out about this I'd hate to offer a well informed guess! My 5 month old can now go 2 hours between naps, I can't recall what my first did. I do remember my first sleeping through from 6-9 months and then stopping.
There is also some useful stuff about developmental leaps out. When a new skill is being acquired they go through a stormy period, which often upsets sleep, before they master this skill, then have a 'sunny' period. Is she on the cusp of a new skill, walking, language, understanding?
A google search should find that, I've done it before after I read the book when I had my first.

longforasnooze perhaps she is, not sure what though...let's hope that's the case!

i am feeling like such a crap parent today - can't do sleep, totally clueless about what I should be doing on BFing and weaning, not doing enough fun things with her, feel i'm doing all the wrong things.

That's an interesting theory longforasnooze.
whattheheck I hope you have a better day tomorrow. Chin up chuck

You're not a crap parent! We're all so good at feeling guilty, but you are doing the best you can and if it all goes wrong one day, don't worry, put it behind you and start again tomorrow as the saying goes.

We've all been there with the exhaustion and constantly going backwards and forwards trying to find something that works for your baby.

You're doing great lady x

Both my DDs had cut down to one sleep by 10 months. A longish one around lunchtime to start, then the afternoon, then none.

DD1 one day cut out hers completely at 19 months. DD2 started cutting hers out at 17 months (much to my dismay) and has just turned 19 months and in the last week hasn't had a sleep at all in the day.

Not that I mind as it means she goes to bed within seconds at nighttime she is so tired.

My dd would always go daown at the same time as yours and then have another one later.

If you go out does she managed without the pm or can you delay the am one?

DS was having 2 naps at this age, one about 1030 ish, one about 3ish. Now 12m and mostly just has one nap straight after lunch but occasionally still has one late morning and one in afternoon

You are definitely not a crap parent, tiredness, wanting a break and some time for yourself is just being human.
Have you made a random objects treasure basket? My son always loved my mums kitchen cupboards at the age, pans, spoons, colainders (however you spell that) books. I know girls are sometimes a bit different but never underestimate the play value in random objects! Is she teething, that could explain problems with feeding?
There's loads of useful stuff on the internet, or NCT website, library....it can feel a bit like swimming in the dark at times, especially this time of year. Today is a new day.