How can I stop my lack of self-confidence rubbing off on my kids

[Peanuts33]

I have very low self esteem and self confidence(although if you knew me you wouldn't notice as I am good at hiding it).

I am also quite shy and find it difficult talking to new people until I have known them a while.

The trouble is I have realised that unless I am very careful this could rub off on my kids who are 6 and 4.

For example my eldest son often comes home from school and says that he asked so and so if he could play with them and they said no. Rather than thinking that the problem is with the little boy I convince myself it is because he doesn't like my son and it is my son's fault that they don't want to play with him.

I really don't want my kids to grow up with no confidence and not liking themselves and wondered how I can stop this happening.

Sorry I haven't articulated this that clearly but hope you get what I mean.

HAve no advice but I am in the same position and can see my dd aged 6 copying me. However dd age 4 is very confident despite me.

i'd be interested to hear what people's advice is...am very worried about doing the same....don't want DD to inherit my shy/self-judgment tendencies

I guess in the short term the best thing is to pretend. Be positive and nice about their friends (and your friends and family), find reasons why their friends may have been mean(maybe he didn't want to play that, was in a bad mood etc) and put on a big confident smile.
Get excited about things and praise them a lot.
Invite their friends round and act really pleased that they are and be nice.

Thanks for your reply mrsruffallo. That's kind of what I do already. I pretend to be really happy-go-lucky and confident but it means that you never really feel completely at ease in yourself because you know that it is all an act.