Hi, i have 3 almost 4 yo grandson. He was unplanned and a bit of a shock to my dd who never appeared maternal at all. She decided to keep him and he was born premature at 32 weeks weighing 2lbs 8ozs. He fought to survive and it seemed that my dds maternal side was coming through. She had a very volatile relationship with her partner at the time and although he was'nt the baby's dad he was willing to take him on as his own.
Anyway my daughter started to struggle with her ds and by the time he was a year and a half she had started to smack him too much and shout and swear at him. Things escalated after my dd split with her dp. My grandson behaves atrociously around his mum, he hits her and shouts and roars at her. He also hits my ds (2) and dd (6) and is very aggressive towards them. When his mum is'nt around and we have him his behaviour is so much better.
In April of last year she really lost control of herself when her ds got her angry and smacked him very hard and put her hands around his throat. She called me and told me what had happened and asked me to call her hv and expalin what had happened.The result of this has been social work involvement and my grandson being put on the child protection register. Things have been monitored but there has been no improvement. My dd has mental health issues, not too sure exactly what they are but a mood disorder has been mentioned.She also has a problem with alcohol and does on occasion take drugs, cannabis and cocaine.
This week she had a breakdown at the nursery ans said that she could'nt cope with her ds. My x-dh was called an he agreed to take out grandson for a couple of nights as my dd was'nt in a fit state to look after him. Now we are waiting for a meeting with the social workers to determine whether he can go back to his mum or not but it does seem unlikely aand they are talking about foster care. I don't know what to do, ifeel that its up to me to take him. I don't want him going to complete strangers but don't know if i'll be able to cope with him. I also have mental health problems, depression and anxiety. also my relationship with my dp is'nt very strong at the best of times and i'm not sure if it could withhold this added pressure. There is also my 2 dcs to think of aswell. We are not financially stable either so not too sure if we could manage financially. I just don't know what to do for the best. I feel that if we do take him on then my relationship with my dd will change forever as i think i'll feel some resentment towards er.