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Parenting

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Original poster

7 yr old friend of ds stealing a Xmas present.

7 replies

nigelslaterfan · 04/01/2010 11:12

Ds, 8, had his most newest and most loved ds game stolen by a really good friend who then made up a story about stealing it that was obviously untrue.

Also ds got into trouble about not looking after said game and the friend witnessed that and still didn't own up. It appears the child has hardly got into trouble about it at all (mother going through separation etc, very stressed) but I have said we were all upset and left it at that. But I'm so surprised, the child is so thoughtful and loving and stealing seems such a crappy thing to do.

Is their a 'stealing stage' or something that some kids go through when things are stressful at home? A friend said to me she's 'acting out'. I was really surprised it seemed planned in a very cool way.

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gorionine · 04/01/2010 11:16

I do not think there is a stealing age but usually stealing is very good vay of attracting attention to oneself. I think it might just be a response to what the child family situation is like at the moment.

Has the game been returned to you?

Original poster

nigelslaterfan · 04/01/2010 11:20

no but it will be soon. I think the child just really wanted it and that outweighed everything else. Also it appears the child sort of believed the made up story too. Odd. But I think it is probably about what's going on at home.
Thanks

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Original poster

nigelslaterfan · 04/01/2010 11:21

But I don't understand how a child can learn that something is wrong if they don't get any punishment/consequence from doing something pretty unpleasant.

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gorionine · 04/01/2010 11:26

How can you be certain the child has not been told off severely? It might not have happened in front of you but still have happened?

Original poster

nigelslaterfan · 04/01/2010 11:33

because the mother said she was still thinking about how to handle it....

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fishie · 04/01/2010 11:37

wait and see what happens when/after the game is returned. the child might not need to be punished to feel bad about it...

gorionine · 04/01/2010 11:38

oh, I see.

maybe the mother feels that she played a part in what happened (separation) and feels to guilty herself to come down hard on her Dc?

I understand it is not a pleasant situation for you or your DS but I cannot help feeling for the other child too if the stealing was a cry for attention.

Maybe the mother is expecting you to do the dirty job of telling her DC off?(that would not be right BTW)

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