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2yo DD and her 'whateva' face...

3 replies

RockBird · 03/01/2010 14:55

Well she's not quite 2, I have a week left of her being 23 months...

DD is a fantastic, independent, strong willed, funny, cute little character, does everything early, walked at nine months (which might explain why I'm always knackered and possibly lacking in patience). Anyway, sometimes she does things which she knows well she's not allowed to do, silly things like climbing on top of high cupboards, kicking her shoes off in the street blah blah or pinching, hitting and hair pulling. Usual stuff. I try to pick my battles and, if I tell her off, as much as you can a 2yo, she just looks straight through me as if I'm not even there. She doesn't do this with other people, not even DH.

I am realistic about how much notice I expect a 2yo to take of a mild telling off. But when it comes to getting her baby cousin in a headlock or pulling her other cousins' hair till they scream, I need to be able to take some action. Obviously removing her is the key thing but she is well aware that it hurts and is not a nice thing to do.

I'm not sure what I'm asking tbh, I just find this blank, unbothered face so hard to deal with. It's literally like talking to a wall. Everyone remarks on it. I have been a nanny and looked after many children of that age and this is the first time I've come across anything like this. The most reaction I get is a sort of tiny self satisfied smile to herself. Is she going to grow up to be a mass murderer or what?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
GingerbreadFolk · 03/01/2010 15:01

It's her ages. She's bright and well developed in some areas but not emotionally advanced in others.

As long as you're consistent and continually model desirable behaviour and make it clear when she is behaving in an unasseptable fashion then it'll even out.

As bright as she is, it really is act certain way = enjoy reaction from mummy. She doesn't understand that things hurt other children because she can't feel it herself, but she does understand cause and effect. Prod child, it squawks, prod again, mummy appears and flaps about a bit.

Don't tolerate the bad, encourage the good anad her moral compass will simmer along just fine.

RockBird · 03/01/2010 15:35

LOL "Prod child, it squawks, prod again, mummy appears and flaps about a bit." about sums it up!

So you don't think I should warn the police and all the local schools to prepare themselves?

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Jamieandhismagictorch · 03/01/2010 19:08

Try to stop worrying. My DS2 was a huge shock after DS1 - would push and bite (Aagh) other children. I was convinced he was headed for delinquency.

When you worry, you can't think as straight and your voice goes all high and squeaky, and basically, she's getting a reaction. I read a book that advised a "bored policeman" tone of voice. Don't bang on with the discipline - say "no" - remove and distract.

My DS2 is 6.5 now and he does like to push boundaries but is doing really well at school, socially and academically.

Interested what you say about your nanying experiences: I now work in a play group with 2 and 3 year olds (I found this age really hard with my own DCs) and have really noticed how much easier it is to deal with other peoples toddlers, because basically I'm not "worried" about how they will turn out and it being all my fault

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