witts end with DS's behaviour - anyone else come back from the brink?

[arewehuman]

My releationship with DS1 (5.4) is not very good at the moment. he pushes my buttons, I react and so the cycle goes on.

I love him dearly but feel so ground down by the constant pressure and anxiety that surronds us i don't know how to stop it all and start again.

A lot of the behaviour is totally normal for any 5 year old but i just feel unable to cope and go from 0-100 in two seconds. I have lost the ability to be positive and talk him around, i am abrupt with him and feel on the brink of tears alot of the time. I need to stop and take a step back from him.

I have the 'how to talk' book but am too scared to read it incase it doesn't work for us....

I so want to turn things around for us and and would love to here of anyones positive experiences

Know what you mean about the books. When I was in the doldrums with my DSs, I found it hard to read "How to talk" because it made me feel more inadequate. In my case counselling helped me feel better, so I could start putting strategies into practice.

The fact that you say his normal behaviour is winding you up makes me wonder whether there's other stuff going on in your life to make you feel unable to cope. Are you under pressure, not sleeping well ? Is it possible you are depressed ? Being on the brink of tears a lot is a warning bell. I've been there .. it's likely to be making him feel very insecure and need to "test" you (at his age, he's not likely to think "poor mum is feeling crap so I'll go easy on her - unfortunately).

Another book that I have found useful is "Playful Parenting". It's a nice reminder to try and have fun (I'm not, naturally that playful), and useful for strategies to diffuse run-ins about things like getting them to get dressed etc. It's also an easier read than How to talk.